Who hosts Mother’s Day?

[Anonymous]

A family member asked me yesterday if I’m hosting Mother’s Day. I have a toddler and a newborn. I host most holidays, and I had everyone over for Mother’s Day last year (even though my husband was working, so it all fell to me). I didn’t commit in the moment, but I was taken aback. Is it reasonable to expect me to host this year? I don’t particularly want to spend my Mother’s Day weekend shopping, cooking, cleaning, and entertaining. It’s not an option for my mother to host, but I don’t think that makes me responsible for the festivities.

[Anonymous]

It's okay to say no.

[Anonymous]

My husband does.

[Anonymous]

I would just say, Not this year! and leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

The Dads should do this. If your husband can't, ask him to tell the other Dads so they can plan something.

[Anonymous]

I’d laugh and say oh hell no!

You could also say I’m really taken a back. I have a toddler and newborn which is an intense amount of work. Cleaning, cooking , serving and cleaning up after all of you last year was hard enough. I can’t imagine doing that again on a day that supposed to celebrate me too. It’s so thoughtless for you to even ask.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you're obligated to host mother's day for anyone who's not in your direct lineage (as in, your grandmother, mother, children, and we can include step and in-laws). If your mom asked and given you said it's impossible for her to host, then I would have her over of course. I'm assuming this was an aunt or something, and then no, she should work something out with her mother, daughter, etc.

[Anonymous]

The moms in my family plan Mother’s Day ourselves. My sister, SIL and I decide who will host and then we all bring easy dishes for brunch. Usually bagels, fruit, muffins. It’s super easy and we all get to celebrate together but have the afternoon free with our own individual families. The husbands then plan dinner for each of us.

[Anonymous]

The restaurant hosts.

[Anonymous]

Go out to dinner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's okay to say no.

Seriously, this. Don't give this another thought, OP.

[Anonymous]

Who is the “family member”? Your side or your husband’s?

[Anonymous]

You suggest that you go out for lunch or dinner. Whichever works best for your kids.

I had to stand firm with MIL who always wanted to do dinner at 7. Umm no, that’s when my kid is getting ready for bed. So we did dinner but at 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The restaurant hosts.

Yup. There is zero reason for this to be done in the home.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect it, but I do think that if someone hosted last year it’s reasonable to check in and find out if they are planning something before planning your own.