What can I do to make things safe, short-term and long-term? Help me make a list

[Anonymous]

SN child who is violent. Have sent siblings away so it’s just me. Single parent. I’ve called several NAMI numbers several times, and all went to voicemail. Texts to hotlines-no one responded. Child has been in different types of therapy forever but we are on waitlists for someone who deals more with crisis level behaviors.
What have you done for safety? Reinforced your main bedroom door? Put away sharp objects and glass objects? Child threw glass at me yesterday. Are there providers who will help with training on retraining holds?

[Anonymous]

Where are you? Maybe try the county crisis center. Some have mobile teams.

[Anonymous]

In our county they come with the police so that's not an option for us.

[Anonymous]

Age?

[Anonymous]

It's so f'ed up how NAMI goes to voicemail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Age?

15 and the child is bigger and stronger.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry you are dealing with this. I am in a similar situation and posted a thread this weekend “hopeless and heartbroken”. A lot of people shared in solidarity and had great suggestions without judgement, it might be comforting for you to read.

For our safety in our house we have all steak knives, scissors, and medication in locked cabinets. We have no weapons in the home. Our home is very bare. We changed my bedroom door to a solid wood door with a deadbolt. This is where I go when she is in crisis. I have also started to keep my car keys in my purse and my purse stays in my room. We also have had to separate our family.

I have called 211 and mobile crisis but if she is in active crisis they request for the police. They will come to the home and help with de-escalation. Due to very traumatic experiences we do not opt for hospitalization anymore. We have done that twice and the last time was extremely traumatic and really offered no real change. I also recognize that for our safety we might get to a point that does require this again.

I have a parent navigator through NAMI and I enjoy talking with her. We have faced barriers with finding any programming,our biggest barrier seems to be our private insurance. If you do not already have a parent navigator through NAMI you could request one, they help you find services and are an additional support person.


I am so sorry you are dealing with this, I know first hand how scary, isolating, and sad it can be.

You are strong and I will be sending you lots of love and positive thoughts. You are not alone.

[Anonymous]

Make the house like a group home- everything, I mean everything, locked up. Large furniture that can’t be moved or flipped, no curtain rods, plastic over windows, only a heavy bed and heavy dresser in room. Paper or plastic plates and cups, nothing that can hurt you if thrown. One thing taken out at a time, locked back up when finished. Keep things to an absolute minimum.

Call Kennedy Kreiger

Contact school for assistance

Hire a college student to provide respite, preferably a large guy.

You should not be doing single person restraints on a 15 yo that’s asking for someone to get hurt.

ER for crisis stabilization if necessary

[Anonymous]

install cameras

window-opening chimes, glassbreak alarms on windows

all meds, knives, and chemicals in locked room or lockbox

switch to an electric stove (less chance of gas leaks, fire, or filling the house with gas)

hardwired smoke detectors and CO monitors

[Anonymous]

Remove matches and lighters

For storing items, safes are more expensive, but heavier than lockers, making them harder to pick up and throw. I prefer one with a keypad because keys can be stolen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry you are dealing with this. I am in a similar situation and posted a thread this weekend “hopeless and heartbroken”. A lot of people shared in solidarity and had great suggestions without judgement, it might be comforting for you to read.

For our safety in our house we have all steak knives, scissors, and medication in locked cabinets. We have no weapons in the home. Our home is very bare. We changed my bedroom door to a solid wood door with a deadbolt. This is where I go when she is in crisis. I have also started to keep my car keys in my purse and my purse stays in my room. We also have had to separate our family.

I have called 211 and mobile crisis but if she is in active crisis they request for the police. They will come to the home and help with de-escalation. Due to very traumatic experiences we do not opt for hospitalization anymore. We have done that twice and the last time was extremely traumatic and really offered no real change. I also recognize that for our safety we might get to a point that does require this again.

I have a parent navigator through NAMI and I enjoy talking with her. We have faced barriers with finding any programming,our biggest barrier seems to be our private insurance. If you do not already have a parent navigator through NAMI you could request one, they help you find services and are an additional support person.


I am so sorry you are dealing with this, I know first hand how scary, isolating, and sad it can be.

You are strong and I will be sending you lots of love and positive thoughts. You are not alone.

Thank you. Words cannot express how grateful I am that you took the time to write this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make the house like a group home- everything, I mean everything, locked up. Large furniture that can’t be moved or flipped, no curtain rods, plastic over windows, only a heavy bed and heavy dresser in room. Paper or plastic plates and cups, nothing that can hurt you if thrown. One thing taken out at a time, locked back up when finished. Keep things to an absolute minimum.

Call Kennedy Kreiger

Contact school for assistance

Hire a college student to provide respite, preferably a large guy.

You should not be doing single person restraints on a 15 yo that’s asking for someone to get hurt.

ER for crisis stabilization if necessary

I hadn't thought about a lot of this. Even the idea of having a larger stronger person be the person helping makes a lot of sense. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:install cameras

window-opening chimes, glassbreak alarms on windows

all meds, knives, and chemicals in locked room or lockbox

switch to an electric stove (less chance of gas leaks, fire, or filling the house with gas)

hardwired smoke detectors and CO monitors

By chemicals do you also mean cleaning supplies? Thank you for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remove matches and lighters

For storing items, safes are more expensive, but heavier than lockers, making them harder to pick up and throw. I prefer one with a keypad because keys can be stolen

I was about to purchase one of those medicine lock boxes but safes make more sense. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this, OP.

I have a slide lock on my bedroom door, plus a door lock. That has been effective.

I put a padlock with a code on a closet door in my room. That is where I store all knives/scissors, cleaning supplies containing bleach, & medications.

I'd store away glasses & ceramic plates, get some plastic/melamine or just disposable plates/cups.

Also put away any heavy breakables in the house - vases, heavy candles or pieces, etc.

Remove belts and glass mirrors from DC's room.

Keep the environment as spare as possible.