Difficult coworker situation

[Anonymous]

I work on several projects with various teams. A couple months ago, I started a new project within a larger team with just one other person. The minute we were introduced, she started asking about my qualifications, saying the previous person was a disaster and unqualified. Unlike other projects for which we get direct feedback from manager or automated feedback, we have to double check each other’s work. The work is subjective to some degree, so I have been lenient and do not penalize her if there is a small deviation since I can usually see why she did the work that way. She has started marking most of my work as wrong for similar small deviations. Would you just start doing the same to her? I have no interest in engaging her on the topic as she is not someone I trust based on prior interactions.

[Anonymous]

She’s clearly intimidated or threatened.

I think you have to show that you want to be a partner, not competition. You need to be unfailingly polite, friendly, and warm. Trust takes a long time to build.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s clearly intimidated or threatened.

I think you have to show that you want to be a partner, not competition. You need to be unfailingly polite, friendly, and warm. Trust takes a long time to build.

I see it the opposite way! She started the relationship bashing someone else which to me was a red flag, so I cannot possibly trust her. And I am trying to be nice and she is not. She strikes me as very eager and intense.

[Anonymous]

Can you have a meeting with her to discuss how you will both "mark" each other's work, so you are consistent?

[Anonymous]

Does she have to take your edits if you mark small deviations as wrong? Do you have to take hers?

Your proposed plan seems passive aggressive and like a waste of time, honestly. She isn’t going to realize that your edits mean that she should do her editing more leniently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she have to take your edits if you mark small deviations as wrong? Do you have to take hers?

Your proposed plan seems passive aggressive and like a waste of time, honestly. She isn’t going to realize that your edits mean that she should do her editing more leniently.

My goal is to have us look like we have the same accuracy, I don’t do passive aggressive. I do not think highly of her, but really the job is the priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you have a meeting with her to discuss how you will both "mark" each other's work, so you are consistent?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you have a meeting with her to discuss how you will both "mark" each other's work, so you are consistent?

+1

We have discussed it. It is so subjective it’s akin to calling something crimson or ruby red. There really is no way to eliminate this sort of human judgement deviation, which is why I evaluate leniently.

[Anonymous]

Depends. Will she start badmouthing your qualifications if you continue to be less rigid?

Since she's been there longer, I'd start a "data dictionary" that defines how to code ruby red vs crimson based on her feedback. Then start flagging her deviations (and make sure your work aligns with the dictionary).

Honestly, people like this generally don't like to be called out for mistakes they're making. She will probably badmouth you either way, so I'd choose the path that gives you a better defense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you have a meeting with her to discuss how you will both "mark" each other's work, so you are consistent?

+1

We have discussed it. It is so subjective it’s akin to calling something crimson or ruby red. There really is no way to eliminate this sort of human judgement deviation, which is why I evaluate leniently.

In my line of work, there is a huge difference between crimson and ruby red. It's hard to tell what kind of advice you want. If you are venting and want sympathy, you are probably going to have to explain more.

[Anonymous]

Approach it as wanting to jointly have a calibration exercise to ensure consistency and reduce time spent on markup and revisions. In that data dictionary put several examples that are within bounds a few with your characteristic style, a few that are hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work on several projects with various teams. A couple months ago, I started a new project within a larger team with just one other person. The minute we were introduced, she started asking about my qualifications, saying the previous person was a disaster and unqualified. Unlike other projects for which we get direct feedback from manager or automated feedback, we have to double check each other’s work. The work is subjective to some degree, so I have been lenient and do not penalize her if there is a small deviation since I can usually see why she did the work that way. She has started marking most of my work as wrong for similar small deviations. Would you just start doing the same to her? I have no interest in engaging her on the topic as she is not someone I trust based on prior interactions.

Yes, I would. But also -- that is probably not the right answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Approach it as wanting to jointly have a calibration exercise to ensure consistency and reduce time spent on markup and revisions. In that data dictionary put several examples that are within bounds a few with your characteristic style, a few that are hers.

But I'm curious about your use of the word penalize. That's a strange one in this context without more detail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends. Will she start badmouthing your qualifications if you continue to be less rigid?

Since she's been there longer, I'd start a "data dictionary" that defines how to code ruby red vs crimson based on her feedback. Then start flagging her deviations (and make sure your work aligns with the dictionary).

Honestly, people like this generally don't like to be called out for mistakes they're making. She will probably badmouth you either way, so I'd choose the path that gives you a better defense.

NP. I agree with this. Also sounds like a show of power, too. She messes with you and others simply because, well, she can.