assisted living facility acting weird

[Anonymous]

We are interested in an AL facility for my mom. We have identified one, but they are being super cagey about costs. And they won't email the contract to us, we need to go there in person. Should we just run the other way?

[Anonymous]

Most places charge for basic rent then extras in what they call levels (normally 1-4), then for medication administration if needed (normally different levels there too). My moms memory care rent is around $8k but she’s also level 1 care at $1250 plus medication management at $850. Unfortunately they don’t really tell you what level your loved one will be until they assess them which doesn’t happen until after you’ve already signed and committed. It’s kind of a racket.

Although at my mom’s place she came in a level 4 because she came in from rehab after a fall and was in a wheelchair so she needed a lot of help initially but they normally review at 30 days so she was dropped to a level 1. I think that’s rare though, most of the time they just go up, up, up in price.

They probably want you to come in so they can go over the potential costs.

[Anonymous]

There’s usually an entrance fee, rent, level of care add ons and medication management. And then each year the costs go up 5% or so. Some of the smaller “group homes” are more transparent and cheaper.

[Anonymous]

This is normal. They need to assess them before they know what kind of assistance they need above and beyond room and board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is normal. They need to assess them before they know what kind of assistance they need above and beyond room and board.

+1

[Anonymous]

Plenty of people think their parent is just AL level and don't understand how major the needs are. They need to meet your mother, assess her and figure out what she needs. Also, if she is highly difficult and you have the attitude that she better not be medicated or you are in denial at how bad the behavior is then they may not be eager to work with her because the other residents have a right to live in peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of people think their parent is just AL level and don't understand how major the needs are. They need to meet your mother, assess her and figure out what she needs. Also, if she is highly difficult and you have the attitude that she better not be medicated or you are in denial at how bad the behavior is then they may not be eager to work with her because the other residents have a right to live in peace.

We already did all the assessments

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of people think their parent is just AL level and don't understand how major the needs are. They need to meet your mother, assess her and figure out what she needs. Also, if she is highly difficult and you have the attitude that she better not be medicated or you are in denial at how bad the behavior is then they may not be eager to work with her because the other residents have a right to live in peace.

We already did all the assessments

How long ago? I find things can change month to month, even week to week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of people think their parent is just AL level and don't understand how major the needs are. They need to meet your mother, assess her and figure out what she needs. Also, if she is highly difficult and you have the attitude that she better not be medicated or you are in denial at how bad the behavior is then they may not be eager to work with her because the other residents have a right to live in peace.

We already did all the assessments

How long ago? I find things can change month to month, even week to week.

Monday!

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of surprises when parents move to a senior community. My mom, who is quite independent (they're moving for my dad, who is much weaker and needs daily assistance) was startled to learn that she (MOM) could not have over-the-counter medications like Tylenol in their apartment, for example. Any and all medication is administered to residents by a nurse.
It takes a few months to adjust. Financially, the cost depends on what medical services or other costs are used/needed. In some places, if you invite friends for dinner, they'll charge you, for example. Much less than a restaurant, and there's assistance for those who need it, but there's an additional cost per plate (not true of all senior communities).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of surprises when parents move to a senior community. My mom, who is quite independent (they're moving for my dad, who is much weaker and needs daily assistance) was startled to learn that she (MOM) could not have over-the-counter medications like Tylenol in their apartment, for example. Any and all medication is administered to residents by a nurse.
It takes a few months to adjust. Financially, the cost depends on what medical services or other costs are used/needed. In some places, if you invite friends for dinner, they'll charge you, for example. Much less than a restaurant, and there's assistance for those who need it, but there's an additional cost per plate (not true of all senior communities).

I get that, but why can't they send an estimate after the assessment?

[Anonymous]

I had this happen too. It’s like a weird sales pitch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most places charge for basic rent then extras in what they call levels (normally 1-4), then for medication administration if needed (normally different levels there too). My moms memory care rent is around $8k but she’s also level 1 care at $1250 plus medication management at $850. Unfortunately they don’t really tell you what level your loved one will be until they assess them which doesn’t happen until after you’ve already signed and committed. It’s kind of a racket.

Although at my mom’s place she came in a level 4 because she came in from rehab after a fall and was in a wheelchair so she needed a lot of help initially but they normally review at 30 days so she was dropped to a level 1. I think that’s rare though, most of the time they just go up, up, up in price.

They probably want you to come in so they can go over the potential costs.

Most are month to month though, so you can bag out after a month’s notice if they get sketchy