Push for practices/attending or not?

[Anonymous]

He is a 2nd grader. He just plays all day and night. He is taking swimming, basketball and soccer classes, but he never practices unless I am mad and push him. He is interested in math and chess, and he has potential to be better at it and go into tournament. He chooses not to spend time on them unless I push him to do so. He has a membership at an outside school chess club that I have to push him to go once in a while. Once he is at chess club in person or he is working on math questions, he has fun and he can spend hours on them. He is a good reader, same thing that he never reads book. Once I force him, he can spend hours reading book if he finds one that he is interested.

All of his free time is staying home watching youtube and screentime. His summer is being outdoor camps daily for 10 weeks doing multi-sports, running around and soccer. He has a ton of mental & physical energy to burn. How do I make him to do this or that on his own without me pushing or reminding him? I want him to enjoy being a kid playing around, but I don't like it when he does nothing. I spend a few thousands on those chess/math enrichment membership & swim/soccer/basketball classes that he loves every single year, and I want him to spend time on practices as well.

[Anonymous]

He's in 2nd grade -- he's supposed to play in his free time! Between school and all the activities he's in, it doesn't sound like he has much down time. Let him be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is a 2nd grader. He just plays all day and night. He is taking swimming, basketball and soccer classes, but he never practices unless I am mad and push him. He is interested in math and chess, and he has potential to be better at it and go into tournament. He chooses not to spend time on them unless I push him to do so. He has a membership at an outside school chess club that I have to push him to go once in a while. Once he is at chess club in person or he is working on math questions, he has fun and he can spend hours on them. He is a good reader, same thing that he never reads book. Once I force him, he can spend hours reading book if he finds one that he is interested.

All of his free time is staying home watching youtube and screentime. His summer is being outdoor camps daily for 10 weeks doing multi-sports, running around and soccer. He has a ton of mental & physical energy to burn. How do I make him to do this or that on his own without me pushing or reminding him? I want him to enjoy being a kid playing around, but I don't like it when he does nothing. I spend a few thousands on those chess/math enrichment membership & swim/soccer/basketball classes that he loves every single year, and I want him to spend time on practices as well.

Tiger or?

[Anonymous]

Dramatically reduce his screen time, and other than that, let him be.

[Anonymous]

I hear you but I think your expectations are too high for a kid this age. We were in a similar situation with our son and playing guitar. He is naturally musically inclined and picked up playing fairly easily, but it took a lot of reminding on our part to get him to practice. He loved going to lessons though! His teacher told us that he was at the point where he couldn't progress much more unless he practiced at home. So we talked to him and told him that we suggested he take a break from guitar until he was ready to commit to practicing. Since dropping it, he has picked up a new sport and spends time practicing that sport on his own and with friends. It's not my first choice for him, but at this age I think kids should be trying new things and having fun and not taking any one thing super seriously. I do think my son will get back to guitar or another instrument when he is older.

[Anonymous]

We push practice for instruments because the lessons are short and without a little daily practice it doesn't really click. We don't push reading because we don't have to, but would if it were needed. For sports though, I let them figure out how much they want to commit to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dramatically reduce his screen time, and other than that, let him be.

Agreed. Screen time can definitely get in the way of kids pursuing their interests, whether it's reading books, playing, or just daydreaming. But otherwise, he's a little kid. I saw my job as exposing my kids to sports, hobbies, and academic pursuits, not turning them into professional athletes or competitors. (If you're trying to live through him, why don't you take up your own sport or competitive activity?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is a 2nd grader. He just plays all day and night. He is taking swimming, basketball and soccer classes, but he never practices unless I am mad and push him. He is interested in math and chess, and he has potential to be better at it and go into tournament. He chooses not to spend time on them unless I push him to do so. He has a membership at an outside school chess club that I have to push him to go once in a while. Once he is at chess club in person or he is working on math questions, he has fun and he can spend hours on them. He is a good reader, same thing that he never reads book. Once I force him, he can spend hours reading book if he finds one that he is interested.

All of his free time is staying home watching youtube and screentime. His summer is being outdoor camps daily for 10 weeks doing multi-sports, running around and soccer. He has a ton of mental & physical energy to burn. How do I make him to do this or that on his own without me pushing or reminding him? I want him to enjoy being a kid playing around, but I don't like it when he does nothing. I spend a few thousands on those chess/math enrichment membership & swim/soccer/basketball classes that he loves every single year, and I want him to spend time on practices as well.

Tiger or?

No I’m not a tiger parent

[Anonymous]

Juat take the screen away. He will want to do other things when its not an option. We now do too many activities in the afternoon so there is no time for screens. The time kids are home they spend together playing or read books.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I try not to be a tiger parent, and I never expect him to get awards or scholarship or become professional. I just want him to explore different things, find his lifetime hobbies, meet other people or get challenged outside of school. The point is that I don't want to spend a few thousands every year, and he has not made much improvement year after year because he never practices. That is a waste of money and really bad point . He just enjoys the lessons/experiences but he never has anything or goal to WORK HARD to work at or aim at for improvement. I don't think that is the positive way of parenting. He has passion for many things, but he has no drive to continue or to make it better.

I try to cut screentime, but it is easier said than done. I am exhausted from work as well, so it would ve great that he can be actively doing this on his own than me pushing him. I feel bad occasionally when I push ir remind him, and he tells me that youtube is his favorite interest to do in his life. Not to mention about the same for foreign language, he is almost at the same level as 2 years ago after I paid a few thousands on 1:1 online tutoring & group class.

[Anonymous]

You have him in a lot of activities so I can’t imagine he has much downtime. Play is the work of childhood.

[Anonymous]

Omg he’s 7 calm down.

If you limit his screen time he will naturally play/practice more though. After spring break come up with a new screen time policy if weekends only or something and stick to it. Don’t make it a punishment just say you’re making changes.
Don’t use you being tired as an excuse to allow constant screens. We’re all tired.

[Anonymous]

Limit the screens. If he's just taking classes, pick a sport and join the team. Or chess team. That would include practice time.

[Anonymous]

I also have a second grader, but she gets maybe a half hour of educational screen time (spelling games and such) per week. Otherwise she's busy cooking, reading, playing with her brother, doing crafts, playdates, going to the park, making up dances, etc.

[Anonymous]

Choose 1 of the many activities, in conjunction with your kid, and have them practice that 1 activity. If it’s basketball or soccer, you may need to go join them. But your kid will probably agree to play with you and a ball a couple of times a week. Your not the coach, so this probably isn’t running drills, but kicking a ball together. Or practicing shooting baskets together. Maybe it’s your kid showing you what to do.

I also agree with limiting screen time. That doesn’t necessarily mean do away with it. I suggest using it strategically. For example, after X, Y, and Z have been completed. Or 30 minutes right when we get home. Or whatever works for your family.

For the chess club, either commit to going once a week and bake it into your schedule, or stop paying for the membership. That doesn’t mean your kid has stopped playing chess for ever. It just means that right now it’s not a good use of your money. It may also mean that he doesn’t want to enter tournaments right now and that’s ok. Your kid will change a lot in the next 2-3 years.