Wife’s Father Dying, Mother Has Dementia

[Anonymous]

And she has one brother who lives on the other side of the country who will be of little to no help.

Six months from now will be very rough with little support

What should I be doing right now?

[Anonymous]

Help find her a place to put her mom or people who will come in daily to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Help find her a place to put her mom or people who will come in daily to help.

This.

And don't let her get sucked down the rabbit hole of being the primary caregiver. She will end up depleted and depressed, and your marriage will suffer.

[Anonymous]

Save up as much money as you can, to spend on paid help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help find her a place to put her mom or people who will come in daily to help.

This.

And don't let her get sucked down the rabbit hole of being the primary caregiver. She will end up depleted and depressed, and your marriage will suffer.

This. Also get will or trust docs, financial information, insurance, SS and DL numbers, power of attorney, any end of life plans from Dad NOW. Know account numbers, all of this important stuff. Know how much money her mom will or won’t have to pay for care, if any, and see if she can become an account signatory now. Look into how to make decisions for mother after he dies. You may need an attorney for that.

[Anonymous]

Is the father doing hospice at a place, in a hospital or at home? Does the mom get breaks? How far along is the dementia? Are they at a facility or at home? Are their aides? Is your wife already POA for health and financial? Does she have all their info? Do you have a case manager who can check in on the parents and let you know the current needs? All of this matters in terms of input.

[Anonymous]

Get the father to give away heirlooms while he's alive so there's no fight with the brother.