The best type of help to hire out

[Anonymous]

We have two kids ages 4 and 1, we both work full time, primarily hybrid schedule for one parent and the other is mostly in person with some telework based on Congress.

Not a unique problem but we are drowning in tasks, overflowing laundry and just lack of tidiness because of the kids ages.

We already have a cleaner twice a month, but the general disaster that ensues daily plus mounting laundry is making me feel frazzled. I’m pretty type A and a to-do list person and despite my efforts feel like I’m struggling to stay afloat with tasks around the home.

Anyone have experience on where to outsource here? Do I hire a sitter so I can organize and pick up more, work on Landry, do I hire someone just for laundry?
Not looking for full time help but a budget of 10 hours or less weekly to help with some of the mounting tasks.

Where to find this person ??! What has worked for you?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you could use a sitter. Doing laundry gives you some downtime at least and you can pair it with an audiobook, podcast or even soak in the tub for some relaxation while the sitter takes the kids out for a bit. When they return, you can have your laundry/tidying done and be refreshed to spend time with your kids. Another thing I used to have our sitter do is prep activities (eg. Prep ingredients to make a pizza or baked good; assemble materials for a fun project) so I could sweep in and do the fun part with DC.

[Anonymous]

I think there’s something called a mother’s helper who helps out where needed while the parent is there. Never hired one, but thought about it when my DCs were very young.

Or maybe a neighborhood teen would be willing to help.

[Anonymous]

I fold laundry during certain calls (WFH) where I don’t need to be on camera or it’s just a 1:1 with no screen sharing where I can ask if they mind doing it as a phone call not teams/zoom. Have you already done the low hanging fruit like grocery delivery, outsourcing yard work, etc? Agree that a sitter even for a few hours on the weekend would help you get some me-time. You can also trade off more like one parent takes both kids to the park and on errands and it’s amazing how much you can do in an hour child-free.

[Anonymous]

I’ve always been able to hire college or high school sitters that watch kids, help load and unload the dishwasher and cycle kid laundry. I pay quite well, but it is totally worth it.

[Anonymous]

What works for us is a full time nanny plus a cleaning person twice a week. We negotiated with the nanny at the start and have in our contract that they will do no more than half a dozen non-child related errands each week. They are also in charge of the kids laundry. The cleaning people wash all linens. I truly feel like it's worth absolutely every penny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there’s something called a mother’s helper who helps out where needed while the parent is there. Never hired one, but thought about it when my DCs were very young.

Or maybe a neighborhood teen would be willing to help.

Mother's Helpers are young girls--10 to 12 years old--who play with babies while YOU do the laundry. Teenager's are not going to want to do someone else's laundry. Common sense says that you do a load or two of laundry several times a week. There are also laundromats who will wash, dry, and fold laundry including underwear. Of course, you have to take to laundromat, pick up, and put clothes away.

[Anonymous]

Change your cleaner to once a week. It is life changing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I fold laundry during certain calls (WFH) where I don’t need to be on camera or it’s just a 1:1 with no screen sharing where I can ask if they mind doing it as a phone call not teams/zoom. Have you already done the low hanging fruit like grocery delivery, outsourcing yard work, etc? Agree that a sitter even for a few hours on the weekend would help you get some me-time. You can also trade off more like one parent takes both kids to the park and on errands and it’s amazing how much you can do in an hour child-free.

You ask not to zoom so you can fold laundry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you could use a sitter. Doing laundry gives you some downtime at least and you can pair it with an audiobook, podcast or even soak in the tub for some relaxation while the sitter takes the kids out for a bit. When they return, you can have your laundry/tidying done and be refreshed to spend time with your kids. Another thing I used to have our sitter do is prep activities (eg. Prep ingredients to make a pizza or baked good; assemble materials for a fun project) so I could sweep in and do the fun part with DC.

I think you can go either way. I would ask yourself, which sounds better to you. 10 hours of break from your kid that you can mostly use for chores, and sometimes use for yourself, or 10 hours less chores? I'd pick the latter because I really hate chores and enjoy time with my kids. So, I might choose 2 5 hour days when someone else comes in while we're at work, does the laundry, makes a double portion of a meal (one for tonight, one for the freezer) and generally tidies up. Other people like the PP might really want that alone time, even if it's scrubbing the bathroom alone.

What sounds better to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What works for us is a full time nanny plus a cleaning person twice a week. We negotiated with the nanny at the start and have in our contract that they will do no more than half a dozen non-child related errands each week. They are also in charge of the kids laundry. The cleaning people wash all linens. I truly feel like it's worth absolutely every penny.

Similar. Three kids - 5,2.5, 9 months. Cleaning is every other week. Nanny does laundry. Yard work weekly Fall, Summer, Spring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fold laundry during certain calls (WFH) where I don’t need to be on camera or it’s just a 1:1 with no screen sharing where I can ask if they mind doing it as a phone call not teams/zoom. Have you already done the low hanging fruit like grocery delivery, outsourcing yard work, etc? Agree that a sitter even for a few hours on the weekend would help you get some me-time. You can also trade off more like one parent takes both kids to the park and on errands and it’s amazing how much you can do in an hour child-free.

You ask not to zoom so you can fold laundry?

NP - Being on zoom is not a requirement at my law firm. I've been in meetings where I'm cooking in my nightgown. Nobody's the wiser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you could use a sitter. Doing laundry gives you some downtime at least and you can pair it with an audiobook, podcast or even soak in the tub for some relaxation while the sitter takes the kids out for a bit. When they return, you can have your laundry/tidying done and be refreshed to spend time with your kids. Another thing I used to have our sitter do is prep activities (eg. Prep ingredients to make a pizza or baked good; assemble materials for a fun project) so I could sweep in and do the fun part with DC.

I don’t understand how a babysitter is supposed to prep dinner ingredients while tending to the needs of an infant or toddler, unless they’re in front of the tv? Wouldn’t you want your sitter to be engaged with the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Change your cleaner to once a week. It is life changing.

Actually we tried this and it did not work well- I felt like we just gave up on any type of maintenance so the house became a disaster even more quickly.

[Anonymous]

Op here again. Thanks for tips. It’s not the dirty aspect of the home, it’s truly just the mounting laundry and toy
Explosion. We don’t have any family in town so we literally are trying to figure out who and when to hire someone because we don’t have grandparents yo take the kids for the weekend to get stuff done.