Managing your own anxiety about your kids

[Anonymous]

To be fair, we are in a good place right now. But we were in such a terrible dark place for a long time and I'm still constantly on edge, waiting for something to go wrong. We are about to go on vacation, and I can't relax about it. I know there will always be ups and downs and changes of meds and good teachers and bad teachers.

I have no time for therapy for myself (and honestly not really interested). I'm not anxious about anything else. But is there anything I can tell myself, anything I can read etc that will help me let my guard down a bit and enjoy myself?

[Anonymous]

Instead of worrying I would "rebrand" it as anticipation. Take all the information you have been given and structure the environment / anticipate how to set yourself and your family for success on this trip (and elsewhere). Think through the day and plan.

Rooting for you!

[Anonymous]

I am in your shoes. Such a dark place and on the upswing. But I can’t relax and awhile I have hope I’m on edge a lot. I don’t have any answers except time makes it better. Thing is I can’t control any of what happens now or in the future so there’s like a helpless quality about the anxiety.

I hope you figure it out.

[Anonymous]

What about a CBT workbook? There are tons on Amazon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about a CBT workbook? There are tons on Amazon.

here's a free one online https://cogbtherapy.com/free-online-cbt-workbook

[Anonymous]

I keep getting recommended to learn mindfulness

[Anonymous]

I started Zoloft and it has been a game changer for me. I know it doesn't work for everyone but it got me out of my head and able to focus on helping my kid. It also makes mindfulness possible for me - it wasn't for me before.

[Anonymous]

mindfulness, meds, therapy. People are rarely anxious about one thing only, if you dive in you might find other areas of life where it turns up differently, like wanting to control smth, our work patterns or interactions, etc. Not pushing therapy, but can be really helpful, even if it's limited and time-bound.

[Anonymous]

And FYI--therapy really doesn't have to be some huge time commitment, where you're laying the couch talking about your relationship with your mother (unless you want it be!). I've gone a few times in my life, the first was for a few months and the second was probably 6 weeks. I walked away with what I needed. It also feels good as a mom to take an hour to focus on myself.

[Anonymous]

totally agree - therapy rocks! No regrets there.

[Anonymous]

The first five chapters of “feeling good” will walk you through cognitive behavioral therapy if you don’t want to meet with someone. But, honestly it’s so much easier just to meet with someone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, we are in a good place right now. But we were in such a terrible dark place for a long time and I'm still constantly on edge, waiting for something to go wrong. We are about to go on vacation, and I can't relax about it. I know there will always be ups and downs and changes of meds and good teachers and bad teachers.

I have no time for therapy for myself (and honestly not really interested). I'm not anxious about anything else. But is there anything I can tell myself, anything I can read etc that will help me let my guard down a bit and enjoy myself?

But you are. In your post, you listed 4 separate things you are anxious about in 3 sentences. That's the thing about Generalized Anxiety, you are literally sitting there, thinking to yourself that things are going well, and nothing is wrong...so why can't I shake this feeling that it could all go wrong at any moment?

Although there is no one size fits all solution, CBT and meds, either alone or combined is the standard for anxiety treatment.

I have some things to recommend in the meantime that may help take the edge off.

-Sleep is important. Try to get 6 solid hours, consider a mild over the counter sleep aid.
-Food is important. If you can't stomach a meal due to anxiety, smoothies are you new bff.
-Vitamins. I take Magnesium, Vitamin B, and Vitamin D. All are thought to help the nervous system, which is a big component of anxiety.
-Hydration. Especially if you like to take the edge off with a glass of wine.
-Deep breathing, make yourself keep a rhythm.
-A small CBT thinking exercise: What If...abc?/But most likely...xyz. Oversimplified example: What if my SN child isn't going to be able to go to college? They will be destined to live a life of poverty in a van, down by the river. But most likely...It may not be what I had hoped for, but we will explore other options like trade schools, community colleges, 2-year programs or vocational training so that my DC can have some sort of income.

I truly hope you find a bit peace and enjoy your vacay

[Anonymous]

Anxiety is contagious. Use that as the motivation to get help. Your anxiety affects your kids, even if you don’t believe it.

[Anonymous]

Do you have help? We are so lucky to have family nearby and my parents see my stride and the toll on my mental and my physical health. Unpopular opinion, maybe, but they let us take a vacation without our SN kid (my kid loves them and obviously I trust them fully). Is that something you can pull off? We come back reset, re-focused and more engaged.

[Anonymous]

Meant to say strife, not stride