Being an old parent feels isolating
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Anonymous
| I don't talk to my friends anymore. Everyone is busy. Im older 40s with a toddler and no one can relate because they have older more self sufficient kids. My energetic toddler talks too much and I want some adult time without the wiggly body movements, kiddie talk and pretend play. My husband is around and helps but he is old and exhausted too. We don’t do anything together anymore. It’s too expensive. I have No questions. I’m just ranting because I’m feeling alone and don’t want to bother anyone in my real life. I hope this is just a phase. |
Anonymous
| Been there. It will get better soon. You can meet other adults once kids are in sports, scouting, etc. |
Anonymous
| I am sorry for your loneliness. I believe toddlerhood is an isolating time. Theyre not as portable, the nap is sacred, the attention span is short. FWIW one of the loneliest times of motherhood was when my first two kids were 1 and 3 because none of my friends had kids. It will get better! |
Anonymous
| Why can't you make friends with other moms even if they are younger than you? |
Anonymous
This. I'm the younger mom but have a lot of mom friends who are older. |
Anonymous
| OP have you tried making friends with younger moms? I'm 36 with a toddler and would not find it strange to be mom friends with someone in their 40s. Kids being the same age can matter a lot more for mom friendships than moms being close to age. |
Anonymous
| Another voice for friendship with older moms. When my elementary aged daughter was a preschooler, my closest mom friends were five and ten years older than I was. |
Anonymous
| Why can’t you make friends with other toddler moms? I have a 4 year old and I’m 39. |
Anonymous
| That’s what happens when you have kids at your age. It’s just not a good idea and it’s not fair for anyone. |
Anonymous
And here it is, this thread’s reason for being - so this comment can be made. I have friends who had children even older than me and I was 40. I mostly hear that they were so lucky it happened for them and they got to be parents. |
Anonymous
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I had my first at 25, in grad school, and since I looked younger than my age, some people assumed I was a teen mother and judged accordingly. Trust me, being at any extreme means growing a thick skin. People WILL judge and misunderstand. They will not give you the benefit of the doubt. So what you do is be happy with who you are and what you're doing. The only approval you need is your own! Enjoy your little one, OP. I'd give anything to have a third in my 40s. I've had quite a few miscarriages recently. Your toddler is lucky to have you and his father, no matter how old and tired you get! |
Anonymous
| Yep I hear you. It's lonely at the other end of the spectrum too. I had kids as a teenager and for the most part people only talked to me to either say obnoxious things like I should have learned from the first one or to ask questions so they could gossip about my life story to their friends. |
Anonymous
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My girlfriend had a baby at age 50. She is friends with younger Moms.
Hire a babysitter and you and your husband should go out once a week. Find a movie. Go out, sit, relax, and watch the movie. |
Anonymous
LOL. 👿 |
Anonymous
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I don’t know if this is still a thing, but I joined “MOMS Club” when my kids were toddlers and I was an older mom and everyone around me was working. Made lifelong friends and really helped alleviate the loneliness/boredom of watching little kids. Check them out if they have a chapter near you—Momsclub.org
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