30 years ago was the last time I saw my childhood girlfriend, I tried to keep in contact

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind this was well before MySpace, Facebook, Smartphones, AOL, E Mail, Instant Messaging, Texting etc...

My family moved across the country the summer right before 9th grade. I tried to keep in contact with her by writing letters but she never responded back. Eventually I just moved on and went on with my life. I was disappointed but life goes on.

Her younger brother and I got along really well. In some ways he looked up to me and he would ask me for advice sometimes.

Just recently I found out as her younger bother entered his teenage years he turned into a hardcore drug addict and later on he passed away from a drug overdose about 10 years ago.

Should I reach out to the family and offer my condolences?

What should I do?

Should I say anything at all?

If there was anyone who could have prevented him from choosing that lifestyle It would have been me.

[Anonymous]

Say nothing. You are also delusional to think you could have saved him.

[Anonymous]

I also have a childhood friend that I was friends with well into our teenage years and have not been able to reconnect with her. It makes me sad, but it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

I located my best childhood friend 15 years later. Met up and it was like we never missed a beat. She had missed me too. Go for it.

[Anonymous]

I think it would be a nice thing to do to send a condolence card to the family.

Let them know you remember him and say something specific you remember or liked about him.

[Anonymous]

Let it go. This happened what -15 to 20 years ago that he died? She didn't respond (or subsequently reach out) for a reason.

You are in no way at all responsible for his death. Do not take that on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If there was anyone who could have prevented him from choosing that lifestyle It would have been me.

Don't reach out if your message is going to remotely sound anything like that or even hint at that. Also don't reach out if you think this is a chance to hook up with your ex.

If you can honestly contact the family just to pay your respects and let them know you remember him, that would be a nice thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Not to sound harsh, but if you think your influence was beyond that of his own family and was so powerful that it could defy the most current thinking about the causes of addiction…do not contact them. Your motivations would be purely about your ego.

[Anonymous]

30 years?! Let it go, op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say nothing. You are also delusional to think you could have saved him.

Ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be a nice thing to do to send a condolence card to the family.

Let them know you remember him and say something specific you remember or liked about him.

Ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let it go. This happened what -15 to 20 years ago that he died? She didn't respond (or subsequently reach out) for a reason.

You are in no way at all responsible for his death. Do not take that on.

Ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If there was anyone who could have prevented him from choosing that lifestyle It would have been me.

Don't reach out if your message is going to remotely sound anything like that or even hint at that. Also don't reach out if you think this is a chance to hook up with your ex.

If you can honestly contact the family just to pay your respects and let them know you remember him, that would be a nice thing to do.

Ok.

[Anonymous]

Died 10 years ago? Say nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to sound harsh, but if you think your influence was beyond that of his own family and was so powerful that it could defy the most current thinking about the causes of addiction…do not contact them. Your motivations would be purely about your ego.

Ok.