Gift for someone dealing with breast cancer

[Anonymous]

My husbands best friends wife has been diagnosed with breast cancer (I think double mastectomy). I would like to buy her a nice gift, but don't know what exactly to get her. Any ideas.

[Anonymous]

When my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, she received a huge outpouring of gifts/flowers/food from friends and contacts in the small town where I grew up. The one gift that stuck with me was a beautiful basket of daffodil bulbs, from a friend who also happened to be a breast cancer survivor, with an amazing note about how planting the bulbs would help remind her that she would be around for a long time and that in a few months, she would make it through this crisis and the flowers would bloom. In the end, my mom was too sick and we were all too overwhelmed - so her friend actually came around one day and planted them. It was an amazing thing to see once springtime hit. My mom died 6 years later but the daffodils are still around (as is her friend who survived a mastectomy.) I don't think this was original to my mom's friend - it was done in NYC after 9/11 and I believe if you do a google search you'll find a better explanation. Anyway, the season's probably not right for this but I think the idea is one worth thinking about - e.g., something that speaks to the future, like tickets to something in 6 months or a gift certificate to a spa for whenever she feels like she might want that.

Something else to consider: think about the personality of the person involved and your relationship. My mother was horrified to get these gargantuan flower baskets from people she hardly knew or those she wasn't really close to - it made her feel like she really was dying. That was her way - the only other friend of hers who had ovarian became a huge activist and was into the support groups, etc, all of which made my mom very uncomfortable. I mention this just to suggest that sometimes it's better to wait a bit, or to think about trying to plan a visit/lunch/whatever makes sense rather than the FTD bouquet. Not everyone feels the same as my mom did obviously but I always try to remember this because my impulse (mostly well-intentioned I hope!) when I hear about a crisis or tragedy is to shop and give gifts!

[Anonymous]

the best gift I ever received when I went thru something really bad, but not cancer, was a sterling silver wishbone for my charm braclett. It means so much to mean. Hope.

[Anonymous]

If she is in the area, there is a wonderful organization that raises money for cancer research called Daffodils and Diamonds. They have nice luncheons and get togethers. Maybe some info on the group, pair with the daffodil bulb idea?

[Anonymous]

I second 19:02's suggestions, they are right on the money. When my mother received her first diagnosis of breast cancer, she was overwhelmed by the outpouring of gifts / flowers / giant food baskets she received, given that her personality gravitated more towards being a "giver" than a "receiver." I think it also made her uncomfortable to think that everyone was imagining the worst (she in fact lived with cancer for ten more years) just as she was mustering up the strength to take on the biggest fight of her life. Ultimately, the smaller gestures - a thoughtfully written card or a real attempt to ask how she was feeling or doing - meant much much more to her. Like the 19:02 poster, I think it's really important to consider your relationship to this person and their personality when deciding how to express your concern and love.

[Anonymous]

I think a card and some sort of uplifting or inspirational book would be thoughtful.