Multiple Paths to Individual Excellence

[Anonymous]

The obsession with so many to follow the brightly colored popular path kills the chances of so many kids to reach their full potential.

As we enter the tryouts season, so many suffering from FOMO are following their kid's teammates to change clubs, just because.
They do little or no research to see if its actually a better situation for their kid.

One of the myths people blindly follow is the one that, if your kid is the best player on the team, you must leave and go elsewhere.
Then they take a kid who's playing multiple positions, playing all game and working hard to make up for others shortcomings and move them to being a substitute left-back on a strong team.

Pros, semi-pros, colleges and Sunday leagues are populated with players from multiple individual paths. So obviously one size doesn't fit all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The obsession with so many to follow the brightly colored popular path kills the chances of so many kids to reach their full potential.

As we enter the tryouts season, so many suffering from FOMO are following their kid's teammates to change clubs, just because.
They do little or no research to see if its actually a better situation for their kid.

One of the myths people blindly follow is the one that, if your kid is the best player on the team, you must leave and go elsewhere.
Then they take a kid who's playing multiple positions, playing all game and working hard to make up for others shortcomings and move them to being a substitute left-back on a strong team.

Pros, semi-pros, colleges and Sunday leagues are populated with players from multiple individual paths. So obviously one size doesn't fit all.

The challenge is, if your kid is clearly the best player on the team, are they improving at the trajectory they can without like peers? Is there speed of play and field vision keeping up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The obsession with so many to follow the brightly colored popular path kills the chances of so many kids to reach their full potential.

As we enter the tryouts season, so many suffering from FOMO are following their kid's teammates to change clubs, just because.
They do little or no research to see if its actually a better situation for their kid.

One of the myths people blindly follow is the one that, if your kid is the best player on the team, you must leave and go elsewhere.
Then they take a kid who's playing multiple positions, playing all game and working hard to make up for others shortcomings and move them to being a substitute left-back on a strong team.

Pros, semi-pros, colleges and Sunday leagues are populated with players from multiple individual paths. So obviously one size doesn't fit all.

The challenge is, if your kid is clearly the best player on the team, are they improving at the trajectory they can without like peers? Is there speed of play and field vision keeping up?

Multiple facets always at play.
Keep in mind, there's always a best player on every team.

Your point is valid, especially if the gap is so vast the best player is only needing 70% of his/her capabilities at practice (though should always give 100%)

[Anonymous]

It's not an easy choice: Move to a harder team/ league therefore playing less minutes and facing tougher competition or stay with the easier team and fill in gaps left open from teammates who left and play far more minutes.

--We did have a coach on our team who recently returned from playing D1 college ball and he said it was tough and cut-throat. He had to re-compete for his spot often. He said he wished he would have went and played D3 ball, as his buddies said it was a great experience with little stress...he said they loved D3 where as he was not sure D1 wasn't worth it. He works as a government contractor and doesn't have time to coach this year and feels his organized soccer days are at an end. He said he would have not chosen the harder soccer path to D1 if he were to do it over again.

Realistically assess your kid and see if they are tops in 4 areas that scouts use to evaluate players. Are they the best Technically, Physically, Mentally and Socially on their teams? If so, move them up. Making the next higher team, should be an easily transition. If not, let them enjoy the ride and let them initiate the conversation to change teams if you can support it.

Also, I agree that if you do switch teams, try not to encourage others on your team to leave also. Kids will talk and make that decision for themselves, but you also don't necessarily want to burn bridges by encouraging a team to break up.

[Anonymous]

PP this is really useful, esp the 4 areas of assessment. I'd like our kid to take it easy another year, but they are fed up with teammates who don't care enough to put in harder work, more time commitment, etc. In the end, I see an internal drive and ambition and think that's a good reason to look for a different opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not an easy choice: Move to a harder team/ league therefore playing less minutes and facing tougher competition or stay with the easier team and fill in gaps left open from teammates who left and play far more minutes.

--We did have a coach on our team who recently returned from playing D1 college ball and he said it was tough and cut-throat. He had to re-compete for his spot often. He said he wished he would have went and played D3 ball, as his buddies said it was a great experience with little stress...he said they loved D3 where as he was not sure D1 wasn't worth it. He works as a government contractor and doesn't have time to coach this year and feels his organized soccer days are at an end. He said he would have not chosen the harder soccer path to D1 if he were to do it over again.

Realistically assess your kid and see if they are tops in 4 areas that scouts use to evaluate players. Are they the best Technically, Physically, Mentally and Socially on their teams? If so, move them up. Making the next higher team, should be an easily transition. If not, let them enjoy the ride and let them initiate the conversation to change teams if you can support it.

Also, I agree that if you do switch teams, try not to encourage others on your team to leave also. Kids will talk and make that decision for themselves, but you also don't necessarily want to burn bridges by encouraging a team to break up.

Preferably let neutral objective knowledgeable coaches/scouts evaluate your kid
Parental bias is strong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not an easy choice: Move to a harder team/ league therefore playing less minutes and facing tougher competition or stay with the easier team and fill in gaps left open from teammates who left and play far more minutes.

--We did have a coach on our team who recently returned from playing D1 college ball and he said it was tough and cut-throat. He had to re-compete for his spot often. He said he wished he would have went and played D3 ball, as his buddies said it was a great experience with little stress...he said they loved D3 where as he was not sure D1 wasn't worth it. He works as a government contractor and doesn't have time to coach this year and feels his organized soccer days are at an end. He said he would have not chosen the harder soccer path to D1 if he were to do it over again.

Realistically assess your kid and see if they are tops in 4 areas that scouts use to evaluate players. Are they the best Technically, Physically, Mentally and Socially on their teams? If so, move them up. Making the next higher team, should be an easily transition. If not, let them enjoy the ride and let them initiate the conversation to change teams if you can support it.

Also, I agree that if you do switch teams, try not to encourage others on your team to leave also. Kids will talk and make that decision for themselves, but you also don't necessarily want to burn bridges by encouraging a team to break up.

I always think its a giant RED flag when a group of players try to move together. At some of the ID sessions there were liked 7-8 kids from the same team self-isolating, warming up only with one another and cliquish and not associating at all with current players. They pass to one another and nobody else, etc. You know there will be trouble when they can't assimilate and have always had to go in as a package deal. The weaker ones in that group benefit--it's usually only 1 strong player or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not an easy choice: Move to a harder team/ league therefore playing less minutes and facing tougher competition or stay with the easier team and fill in gaps left open from teammates who left and play far more minutes.

--We did have a coach on our team who recently returned from playing D1 college ball and he said it was tough and cut-throat. He had to re-compete for his spot often. He said he wished he would have went and played D3 ball, as his buddies said it was a great experience with little stress...he said they loved D3 where as he was not sure D1 wasn't worth it. He works as a government contractor and doesn't have time to coach this year and feels his organized soccer days are at an end. He said he would have not chosen the harder soccer path to D1 if he were to do it over again.

Realistically assess your kid and see if they are tops in 4 areas that scouts use to evaluate players. Are they the best Technically, Physically, Mentally and Socially on their teams? If so, move them up. Making the next higher team, should be an easily transition. If not, let them enjoy the ride and let them initiate the conversation to change teams if you can support it.

Also, I agree that if you do switch teams, try not to encourage others on your team to leave also. Kids will talk and make that decision for themselves, but you also don't necessarily want to burn bridges by encouraging a team to break up.

Preferably let neutral objective knowledgeable coaches/scouts evaluate your kid
Parental bias is strong

As parents, my spouse and I are usually my kids' harshest critic (not to their face so much)--but we know when they haven't been ready for a team or if their play isn't up to snuff, etc. I have held my kids from trying out places until I felt they were strong enough to be there. In some cases, that did mean going other places for a few years to focus on their own development, physical growth.

I also always enlisted a non-relative for an honest assessment. Everyone in my family played and a grandparent will also have a biased opinion (though ours are pretty frank as my dad was as my coach...lol).

We have a friend trainer/player who would offer honest unbiased critique over the years. The kids learn its constructive. They can't get better if they can't take reasonable criticism and accept areas they need to work on. My kids have always been coachable. A player cannot improve if everyone is just feeding them BS for years. Their weaknesses need to be pointed out--and a clear path on how to improve in those areas.

[Anonymous]

The problem with being honest for these companies around here is that, honesty = potentially losing customers, and that affects their bottom line.

Glad some people take the initiative and do some self-evaluation and research rather than play into the system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The obsession with so many to follow the brightly colored popular path kills the chances of so many kids to reach their full potential.

As we enter the tryouts season, so many suffering from FOMO are following their kid's teammates to change clubs, just because.
They do little or no research to see if its actually a better situation for their kid.

One of the myths people blindly follow is the one that, if your kid is the best player on the team, you must leave and go elsewhere.
Then they take a kid who's playing multiple positions, playing all game and working hard to make up for others shortcomings and move them to being a substitute left-back on a strong team.

Pros, semi-pros, colleges and Sunday leagues are populated with players from multiple individual paths. So obviously one size doesn't fit all.

The challenge is, if your kid is clearly the best player on the team, are they improving at the trajectory they can without like peers? Is there speed of play and field vision keeping up?

One thing I always wonder what makes a parent think there kid is the best on a team. Sometimes I think the kids that score all the goals do not make them the best. I prefer seeing what lead to the goal vs the goal itself. Does just being in front of the goal for a layup make you the best? What about the people who moved the ball to get that player into position to score. I've seen people move teams and score zero goals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not an easy choice: Move to a harder team/ league therefore playing less minutes and facing tougher competition or stay with the easier team and fill in gaps left open from teammates who left and play far more minutes.

--We did have a coach on our team who recently returned from playing D1 college ball and he said it was tough and cut-throat. He had to re-compete for his spot often. He said he wished he would have went and played D3 ball, as his buddies said it was a great experience with little stress...he said they loved D3 where as he was not sure D1 wasn't worth it. He works as a government contractor and doesn't have time to coach this year and feels his organized soccer days are at an end. He said he would have not chosen the harder soccer path to D1 if he were to do it over again.

Realistically assess your kid and see if they are tops in 4 areas that scouts use to evaluate players. Are they the best Technically, Physically, Mentally and Socially on their teams? If so, move them up. Making the next higher team, should be an easily transition. If not, let them enjoy the ride and let them initiate the conversation to change teams if you can support it.

Also, I agree that if you do switch teams, try not to encourage others on your team to leave also. Kids will talk and make that decision for themselves, but you also don't necessarily want to burn bridges by encouraging a team to break up.

Preferably let neutral objective knowledgeable coaches/scouts evaluate your kid
Parental bias is strong

As parents, my spouse and I are usually my kids' harshest critic (not to their face so much)--but we know when they haven't been ready for a team or if their play isn't up to snuff, etc. I have held my kids from trying out places until I felt they were strong enough to be there. In some cases, that did mean going other places for a few years to focus on their own development, physical growth.

I also always enlisted a non-relative for an honest assessment. Everyone in my family played and a grandparent will also have a biased opinion (though ours are pretty frank as my dad was as my coach...lol).

We have a friend trainer/player who would offer honest unbiased critique over the years. The kids learn its constructive. They can't get better if they can't take reasonable criticism and accept areas they need to work on. My kids have always been coachable. A player cannot improve if everyone is just feeding them BS for years. Their weaknesses need to be pointed out--and a clear path on how to improve in those areas.

The mediocre coaches in this community provide no feedback. Coaches expect players to be coachable, what for? Coaches never give feedback. What are the coach duties these days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not an easy choice: Move to a harder team/ league therefore playing less minutes and facing tougher competition or stay with the easier team and fill in gaps left open from teammates who left and play far more minutes.

--We did have a coach on our team who recently returned from playing D1 college ball and he said it was tough and cut-throat. He had to re-compete for his spot often. He said he wished he would have went and played D3 ball, as his buddies said it was a great experience with little stress...he said they loved D3 where as he was not sure D1 wasn't worth it. He works as a government contractor and doesn't have time to coach this year and feels his organized soccer days are at an end. He said he would have not chosen the harder soccer path to D1 if he were to do it over again.

Realistically assess your kid and see if they are tops in 4 areas that scouts use to evaluate players. Are they the best Technically, Physically, Mentally and Socially on their teams? If so, move them up. Making the next higher team, should be an easily transition. If not, let them enjoy the ride and let them initiate the conversation to change teams if you can support it.

Also, I agree that if you do switch teams, try not to encourage others on your team to leave also. Kids will talk and make that decision for themselves, but you also don't necessarily want to burn bridges by encouraging a team to break up.

Preferably let neutral objective knowledgeable coaches/scouts evaluate your kid
Parental bias is strong

As parents, my spouse and I are usually my kids' harshest critic (not to their face so much)--but we know when they haven't been ready for a team or if their play isn't up to snuff, etc. I have held my kids from trying out places until I felt they were strong enough to be there. In some cases, that did mean going other places for a few years to focus on their own development, physical growth.

I also always enlisted a non-relative for an honest assessment. Everyone in my family played and a grandparent will also have a biased opinion (though ours are pretty frank as my dad was as my coach...lol).

We have a friend trainer/player who would offer honest unbiased critique over the years. The kids learn its constructive. They can't get better if they can't take reasonable criticism and accept areas they need to work on. My kids have always been coachable. A player cannot improve if everyone is just feeding them BS for years. Their weaknesses need to be pointed out--and a clear path on how to improve in those areas.

The mediocre coaches in this community provide no feedback. Coaches expect players to be coachable, what for? Coaches never give feedback. What are the coach duties these days?

100% (you are quoting me). IT was absolutely comical when they were young. One got rated on 'heading' when 'heading' wasn't even allowed at that time. Another at age 8- was rated on physicality (nothing he could control at that point). I had a left footed kid told he should work on his opposite foot (left). But most just consisted of random check boxes with no substance or suggestion.

The absolute best evaluations my oldest son ever received were from a college coach following him since 14. Each year he would point out what he did well and what needed work...and then provide insight on how to fix the weaker areas. It was also done with encouragement. Then when he'd see him 6 months or so later--he'd be like 'great' now work on 'X'. It was very methodical and like 2 pages of email. Never have I ever received reviews like that from any travel coach even spending $4k or more a season. And- truthfully--my son wasn't even a top recruit for this guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The obsession with so many to follow the brightly colored popular path kills the chances of so many kids to reach their full potential.

As we enter the tryouts season, so many suffering from FOMO are following their kid's teammates to change clubs, just because.
They do little or no research to see if its actually a better situation for their kid.

One of the myths people blindly follow is the one that, if your kid is the best player on the team, you must leave and go elsewhere.
Then they take a kid who's playing multiple positions, playing all game and working hard to make up for others shortcomings and move them to being a substitute left-back on a strong team.

Pros, semi-pros, colleges and Sunday leagues are populated with players from multiple individual paths. So obviously one size doesn't fit all.

The challenge is, if your kid is clearly the best player on the team, are they improving at the trajectory they can without like peers? Is there speed of play and field vision keeping up?

One thing I always wonder what makes a parent think there kid is the best on a team. Sometimes I think the kids that score all the goals do not make them the best. I prefer seeing what lead to the goal vs the goal itself. Does just being in front of the goal for a layup make you the best? What about the people who moved the ball to get that player into position to score. I've seen people move teams and score zero goals.

Score goals, get the glory. Watch ID sessions--a crap player that is sitting in front of goal and scores gets all kinds of check marks and positive ratings.

I know the point of the game is to score--duh. But a lot of these players have absolutely zero touch or iq and couldn't replicate it in a game anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not an easy choice: Move to a harder team/ league therefore playing less minutes and facing tougher competition or stay with the easier team and fill in gaps left open from teammates who left and play far more minutes.

--We did have a coach on our team who recently returned from playing D1 college ball and he said it was tough and cut-throat. He had to re-compete for his spot often. He said he wished he would have went and played D3 ball, as his buddies said it was a great experience with little stress...he said they loved D3 where as he was not sure D1 wasn't worth it. He works as a government contractor and doesn't have time to coach this year and feels his organized soccer days are at an end. He said he would have not chosen the harder soccer path to D1 if he were to do it over again.

Realistically assess your kid and see if they are tops in 4 areas that scouts use to evaluate players. Are they the best Technically, Physically, Mentally and Socially on their teams? If so, move them up. Making the next higher team, should be an easily transition. If not, let them enjoy the ride and let them initiate the conversation to change teams if you can support it.

Also, I agree that if you do switch teams, try not to encourage others on your team to leave also. Kids will talk and make that decision for themselves, but you also don't necessarily want to burn bridges by encouraging a team to break up.

Preferably let neutral objective knowledgeable coaches/scouts evaluate your kid
Parental bias is strong

As parents, my spouse and I are usually my kids' harshest critic (not to their face so much)--but we know when they haven't been ready for a team or if their play isn't up to snuff, etc. I have held my kids from trying out places until I felt they were strong enough to be there. In some cases, that did mean going other places for a few years to focus on their own development, physical growth.

I also always enlisted a non-relative for an honest assessment. Everyone in my family played and a grandparent will also have a biased opinion (though ours are pretty frank as my dad was as my coach...lol).

We have a friend trainer/player who would offer honest unbiased critique over the years. The kids learn its constructive. They can't get better if they can't take reasonable criticism and accept areas they need to work on. My kids have always been coachable. A player cannot improve if everyone is just feeding them BS for years. Their weaknesses need to be pointed out--and a clear path on how to improve in those areas.

The mediocre coaches in this community provide no feedback. Coaches expect players to be coachable, what for? Coaches never give feedback. What are the coach duties these days?

I have noticed the lack of feedback over the past several years too. We had one coach who was excellent but unless my player asked we just guessed at what she needed to work on.

[Anonymous]

My kids rec coach (dad of one of the players) played professionally. The guy was 6'6" but not gangally or uncoordinated at all. I'm 6'3" and rarely look up to people. I can't imagine how intimidating he would have been for anyone 5'ish to play against.

Anyway, he was the most relaxed person that I've ever met regarding soccer. Could literally care less if his daughter made the team or didn't. As a coach he knew exactly what to do with little kids to keep them interested without pressuring. Unfortunately the moms wanted wins now so they all left his team for lower level competitive teams.

His daughter was naturally talented but you could tell that he was letting the push vs pull dynamic play out with her. Meaning are you going to push them to be better or are they going to pull you to take them to practices, games, extras.