Why do employers make it hard to leave? attempted to resign but they want me to reconsider

[Anonymous]

This has happened before.

I told my boss today that I am resigning. I am returning to a prior employer. I am taking a pay cut because I feel it is worth the money because I prefer my old job.

I hate disappointing people. I really like my boss, but I don't like a lot of aspects of my job. I am good at it, but I really preferred my old one and was happier on a daily basis. I only left my old job for this one for the substantial increase in pay. An opportunity to return to my old job came up and I was offered the job and accepted today. Then had the awkward conversation with my boss. I really like my boss...but that is not the entire job.

Anyone boomerang back to an older employer and stayed a long time? I think I will be much happier there long term (even with less money...I will be making more than when I left...still a pay cut but not as much as a pay difference then when I left).

Why is it that when boss's want to keep you, you feel bad and start second guessing your decision?

[Anonymous]

It speaks well of you that your old job wants you back and the current one wants you to stay. It is much easier for them to keep you, a known and apparently great worker, even for a nominal raise, then to have the position sit vacant and spend time hiring and training someone new (often at market value which is higher than the employee they had for man years).

There's nothing to feel bad about here. They value you, and you are blessed to be able to make a decision that is not solely based on money, and you're still coming out ahead from where you are before.

Keep communication open with this boss and maybe someday you will return here.

[Anonymous]

You would benefit from learning about boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You would benefit from learning about boundaries.

What are you even talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would benefit from learning about boundaries.

What are you even talking about?

Not the PP but I agree—no one should ever feel guilty about leaving a job. It’s a job, not a marriage. Companies prefer people to stay, because it saves them time and money—that’s why they try to keep good people. Nothing more. If you feel extremely loyal to a company, then it becomes hard to leave. Ask why you feel some sense of loyalty to this company, and whether those reasons are good enough to stay.

[Anonymous]

They haven't stopped you from resigning, what do you mean you "attempted"? You can't make your life decisions to avoid ever disappointing others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They haven't stopped you from resigning, what do you mean you "attempted"? You can't make your life decisions to avoid ever disappointing others.

Yes, this. In grownup life, you cannot please everyone. You will disappoint people, and that is okay.

[Anonymous]

I mean, did your current boss make you a counter-offer? More money? More flexible working hours or more vacation time?

The boss wants you to stay because (1) you're a known quantity, (2) recruiting is an awful process and adds a lot to your boss's already-busy plate, and (3) good chance that they will need to offer more money to the next candidate than what they are paying you.

So yeah, of course they want you to stay. If I was your boss, I'd be doing some heavy lifting to keep you happy as that's a lot easier than losing you and trying to find a replacement.

[Anonymous]

Did you express your concerns about your job to your boss or was he blindsided?

[Anonymous]

99 percent of the world can’t quit higher paid jobs to take lower paid jobs because it fulfills us more. So maybe it is confusing to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, did your current boss make you a counter-offer? More money? More flexible working hours or more vacation time?

The boss wants you to stay because (1) you're a known quantity, (2) recruiting is an awful process and adds a lot to your boss's already-busy plate, and (3) good chance that they will need to offer more money to the next candidate than what they are paying you.

So yeah, of course they want you to stay. If I was your boss, I'd be doing some heavy lifting to keep you happy as that's a lot easier than losing you and trying to find a replacement.

Yes, he offered to renegoitate with HR for more flexibility and vacation time but I don't think that is realistic for special treatment. He asked me to reconsider overnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you express your concerns about your job to your boss or was he blindsided?

He asked about concerns. I don't know if he was blindsided. He things my concerns can be mitigated. I think there are organizational issues in which it is just not a good fit for me (and it is systemic). It can be tolerable and okay, but I was happier at my old job even with a pretty big pay cut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:99 percent of the world can’t quit higher paid jobs to take lower paid jobs because it fulfills us more. So maybe it is confusing to him.

I was obviously living off less money before I took this job. It is not hard to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would benefit from learning about boundaries.

What are you even talking about?

Not the PP but I agree—no one should ever feel guilty about leaving a job. It’s a job, not a marriage. Companies prefer people to stay, because it saves them time and money—that’s why they try to keep good people. Nothing more. If you feel extremely loyal to a company, then it becomes hard to leave. Ask why you feel some sense of loyalty to this company, and whether those reasons are good enough to stay.

I always feel guilty about leaving a job. I did not feel guilty leaving a crappy marriage. Not one ounce of guilt. My longest job lasted longer than my 10-year marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:99 percent of the world can’t quit higher paid jobs to take lower paid jobs because it fulfills us more. So maybe it is confusing to him.

Also, I think I can retire at my prior job. I can stay 5, 10 more 20 more years. I don't feel that way about my current job. I told him this.