Should I tell boss I'm burning out?

[Anonymous]

We've been slammed with deadlines for over a year: my performance has been good but I'm exhausted and can't keep working extra hours nearly every day. This is supposed to be a 40 hr/week position and I earn overtime beyond that, but I would like to stop working the overtime.

I will have my performance review tomorrow and I expect it to go well. Should I say something? Boss is a nice person, but younger than me and works as much or more (tbf, also gets paid more).

[Anonymous]

No. You should start cutting back and drawing boundaries, saying you're not available for overtime. But don't mention the word burnout and don't mention cutting your hours at the same time as the performance review.

Do it a week or two later if you feel you need to give them a heads up: "I wanted to let you know I won't be able to take as much overtime starting in April because of some other commitments I have coming up. I see the priorities to get done in my core hours as X, Y, and Z. A and B may need to be delayed or another plan come up with to get them done. Do you agree with those being the priority?"

Your other commitment is health, but there is very little upside to mentioning burnout unless you have a super empathetic boss or an HR team who is working on a burnout reduction plan (if you've had a lot of turnover due to burnout). I have seen this be held against people so many times, especially by workaholic bosses.

If they press on what the other commitment is, I'd have no issues saying "There are some things I need to address with my health. I'm making sure those fall outside of core working hours, but I won't be able to take on many extra hours."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. You should start cutting back and drawing boundaries, saying you're not available for overtime. But don't mention the word burnout and don't mention cutting your hours at the same time as the performance review.

Do it a week or two later if you feel you need to give them a heads up: "I wanted to let you know I won't be able to take as much overtime starting in April because of some other commitments I have coming up. I see the priorities to get done in my core hours as X, Y, and Z. A and B may need to be delayed or another plan come up with to get them done. Do you agree with those being the priority?"

Your other commitment is health, but there is very little upside to mentioning burnout unless you have a super empathetic boss or an HR team who is working on a burnout reduction plan (if you've had a lot of turnover due to burnout). I have seen this be held against people so many times, especially by workaholic bosses.

If they press on what the other commitment is, I'd have no issues saying "There are some things I need to address with my health. I'm making sure those fall outside of core working hours, but I won't be able to take on many extra hours."

This is so helpful, thank you.
- OP

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, it's cheaper to pay you overtime than it is to hire another person. You gave them an inch and they took a mile.

You are going to have to wean them off of your OT instead of going cold turkey. Start with having a commitment one day a week. Then scale back by an hour on the other days. Start negotiating deadlines for deliverables and make them more realistic.

If all of this is just unacceptable to them, then you know it's time to think about moving on.

[Anonymous]

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Amelia Nagoski is an eye opening book for anyone wanting to heal from burnout. Just working less won't do it (but likely is necessary!).