Coworker said Israel shouldn’t exist

[Anonymous]

I am Jewish and the remark was made with such lightheartedness that it was even more disturbing. The same tone as referencing a TV show. Something like ‘…yeah, just how Israel shouldn’t exist.’

I let it go because confronting him at a work dinner would’ve made for a tough situation and I work with this person a lot. I would characterize our relationship as work friends. We’re on a pretty small team so there is no avoiding each other.

The person is Palestinian and has made anti-Israel comments before. When someone sat in his usual spot at the conference table, he joked that the person was Israeli for taking his things.

I do try to see things from his point of view, especially during this terrible war, but to think Israel shouldn’t exist is too much in my view. And you can be anti Israeli policies without being anti-Semitic. But to think Israel shouldn’t exist (and comment about it like it’s a mainstream opinion) is anti-Semitic in my opinion. Perhaps it is a mainstream opinion nowadays. I work a lot with this person and have had a good relationship until this moment. I think it’s just one of those things you have to compartmentalize and move on.

What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am Jewish and the remark was made with such lightheartedness that it was even more disturbing. The same tone as referencing a TV show. Something like ‘…yeah, just how Israel shouldn’t exist.’

I let it go because confronting him at a work dinner would’ve made for a tough situation and I work with this person a lot. I would characterize our relationship as work friends. We’re on a pretty small team so there is no avoiding each other.

The person is Palestinian and has made anti-Israel comments before. When someone sat in his usual spot at the conference table, he joked that the person was Israeli for taking his things.

I do try to see things from his point of view, especially during this terrible war, but to think Israel shouldn’t exist is too much in my view. And you can be anti Israeli policies without being anti-Semitic. But to think Israel shouldn’t exist (and comment about it like it’s a mainstream opinion) is anti-Semitic in my opinion. Perhaps it is a mainstream opinion nowadays. I work a lot with this person and have had a good relationship until this moment. I think it’s just one of those things you have to compartmentalize and move on.

What would you do?

They’re going to have different opinions from you. They may even be anti-Semitic. I agree with your world view, but I also think there’s a lot of wisdom in just ignoring it and moving on. If this person continues saying stuff like this, others will notice. But if you raise it you’re going to become a target for anyone who agrees with this person or you’re going to be made into a pro-genocide anti-Arab. Let it be.

[Anonymous]

If you go all HR on him, that won’t make him feel less persecuted or change his mind

[Anonymous]

Speak to the person who supervises you both on that small team.

It’s not funny, it’s clear antisemitism and while I also sympathize with his position because the current government of Israel is abhorrent and is slaughtering Palestinians, Jews have been slaughtered for millennia all over the world culminating in the worst holocaust in human history and that history establishes beyond any reasonable doubt the necessity for the state of Israel to exist.

Divisive politics shouldn’t be discussed in the workplace anyway, and certainly not comments about extinguishing an entire nation of people. I am assuming of course that you aren’t making comments about the necessity for the current wholesale slaughter of Palestinian civilians (and yes I understand the complexities therein).

Talk to your supervisor, or HR if you don’t trust your supervisor.

There is another thread currently about the Atlantic article heralding the end of the golden age of American Jews. I’m deeply troubled by the clear change of attitudes in America toward Jews and Israel - this is Netanyahu’s terrible legacy, he is a shit stain of the highest order. Hamas has won the larger war because Israel has been massively diminished in the view of Americans and the community of nations.

Jews are responsible for much that is wonderful in American culture and the American civil rights movement. It is sickening to see them so reviled by younger generations. As long as I live I will never understand antisemitism and it almsot makes me wish there was a next plane of existence where I could learn the reasoning for this particular sickness of the human heart.

[Anonymous]

Anti-Semitism is not cool no matter what. Does this person know you’re Jewish, OP? I’ll bet he wouldn’t dare say the N-word to a black co-worker so there’s no reason he gets a pass on this behavior.

[Anonymous]

Like you said, I would compartmentalize it and move on. I am Jewish, too. You’re not going to change what is obviously a very strong opinion of his. He is entitled to his opinion, and surely you can see that based on his own experiences he may have formed that one. He 100% should not be making any such comments at work, but some people are just set in their ways and don’t care.

Don’t engage in any personal conversations with him. If he makes a comment, say something neutral like on, let’s not talk about such things at work or say nothing and move on. Completely non-reactionary.

[Anonymous]

Given the current mass murder happening in Gaza, it's really tough for Jews or anyone with ties to Israel to hold their head up high right now, even though they have been victims for hundreds of years.

It's just an all-around tragic situation, OP. Israel is reacting out of all proportion and is now the bad guy. Your coworker is entirely out of line, but 30,000 Palestinians, the immense majority of whom are innocent women and children, have died.

I don't know what to tell you. It's awful. I'm sorry you're made to feel attacked in your workplace - it should never happen! But then again your coworker is going through severe emotional trauma as well. I'm not Palestinian or Israeli, but come on. No country in the world should have blocked a ceasefire demand at the UN, like the USA just did. We're complicit to mass murder. It's not right.

If you feel you need to say something, it's your prerogative. After what he said, you certainly have just cause! I just hope it won't get him fired. There's too much pain and suffering already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like you said, I would compartmentalize it and move on. I am Jewish, too. You’re not going to change what is obviously a very strong opinion of his. He is entitled to his opinion, and surely you can see that based on his own experiences he may have formed that one. He 100% should not be making any such comments at work, but some people are just set in their ways and don’t care.

Don’t engage in any personal conversations with him. If he makes a comment, say something neutral like on, let’s not talk about such things at work or say nothing and move on. Completely non-reactionary.

I agree that you’re probably not going to change his opinion, but you can and should stop him from making offensive statement at work. You should talk to him, your supervisor, and HR (in that order) and state the following: 1) derogatory statements about any group, nationality, or religious are not acceptable in the workplace; 2) the statements offend me; 3) the statements contribute to a hostile workplace for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am Jewish and the remark was made with such lightheartedness that it was even more disturbing. The same tone as referencing a TV show. Something like ‘…yeah, just how Israel shouldn’t exist.’

I let it go because confronting him at a work dinner would’ve made for a tough situation and I work with this person a lot. I would characterize our relationship as work friends. We’re on a pretty small team so there is no avoiding each other.

The person is Palestinian and has made anti-Israel comments before. When someone sat in his usual spot at the conference table, he joked that the person was Israeli for taking his things.

I do try to see things from his point of view, especially during this terrible war, but to think Israel shouldn’t exist is too much in my view. And you can be anti Israeli policies without being anti-Semitic. But to think Israel shouldn’t exist (and comment about it like it’s a mainstream opinion) is anti-Semitic in my opinion. Perhaps it is a mainstream opinion nowadays. I work a lot with this person and have had a good relationship until this moment. I think it’s just one of those things you have to compartmentalize and move on.

What would you do?

If someone who was Jewish said that Israel should continue to hold all the land it holds in that region, and Palestine as a country should never exist, would you consider that equally offensive?

As far as I can see there are three choices. Israel exists and Palestine as a free country doesn't. Palestine exists and Israel as a free country doesn't. Or we work out a two state solution. I think the last has to be the answer, because the first two aren't tolerable, but I don't see one as more intolerable than the other.

[Anonymous]

DH has a similar problem with a coworker but the coworker is not even Arab and has said MUCH worse things. He is choosing to ignore it.

I would not pursue complaining about this because there are too many unknowns about how the complaint will affect YOU, an innocent person who didn't make stupid statements at work. At my job 2 Jewish guys got into it about Israel/Palestine and the one who behaved MUCH more inappropriately ended up promoted and the aggrieved party was forced out. There are other dynamics at play and you don't know how it will be used against you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am Jewish and the remark was made with such lightheartedness that it was even more disturbing. The same tone as referencing a TV show. Something like ‘…yeah, just how Israel shouldn’t exist.’

I let it go because confronting him at a work dinner would’ve made for a tough situation and I work with this person a lot. I would characterize our relationship as work friends. We’re on a pretty small team so there is no avoiding each other.

The person is Palestinian and has made anti-Israel comments before. When someone sat in his usual spot at the conference table, he joked that the person was Israeli for taking his things.

I do try to see things from his point of view, especially during this terrible war, but to think Israel shouldn’t exist is too much in my view. And you can be anti Israeli policies without being anti-Semitic. But to think Israel shouldn’t exist (and comment about it like it’s a mainstream opinion) is anti-Semitic in my opinion. Perhaps it is a mainstream opinion nowadays. I work a lot with this person and have had a good relationship until this moment. I think it’s just one of those things you have to compartmentalize and move on.

What would you do?

You're not the thought police. He has every right to his opinion, and I'd suggest that he very much believes what he is saying. But you shouldn't be subjected to his espousing his opinion at work. I would tell HR it is creating a hostile work place.

[Anonymous]

Let. It. Go.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t let it go. He knows he’s being provocative. I’d talk to HR.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t let it go. He knows he’s being provocative. I’d talk to HR.

HR isnt your friend. Their job is to limit risk. If there isn’t a clear violation then the person who thinks there’s a clear violation becomes the highest risk.

[Anonymous]

Israel should not exist that is a fact. It is a pro Jewish statement. If Jews were never persecuted in first place modern day Israel would not exist