Are any lawyers happy at work?

[Anonymous]

My spouse is a lawyer and has tried many different set ups over the years. Rarely staying in one role more than 3 years. They LOVE the law and their particular niche in particular. But they are always always stressed out. At law firms it was the billable hours. In house it was the cost cutting measures and weird in fighting. At the most recent place I thought things were going well but recently they have started ruminating again about hours. I have tried forever to get them to go back to therapy - at one point they went and developed a lot of coping skills and that was really really good. But it’s all disappeared now a few years out and they are back to walking around stressed out and snapping at us all. I know I can’t solve this and realistically it’s more about their anxiety than the specific work places but I keep seeing threads about lawyers who hate their jobs. Are there lawyer jobs that are more pleasant or at least less stressful out there?

[Anonymous]

Most fed lawyers love it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is a lawyer and has tried many different set ups over the years. Rarely staying in one role more than 3 years. They LOVE the law and their particular niche in particular. But they are always always stressed out. At law firms it was the billable hours. In house it was the cost cutting measures and weird in fighting. At the most recent place I thought things were going well but recently they have started ruminating again about hours. I have tried forever to get them to go back to therapy - at one point they went and developed a lot of coping skills and that was really really good. But it’s all disappeared now a few years out and they are back to walking around stressed out and snapping at us all. I know I can’t solve this and realistically it’s more about their anxiety than the specific work places but I keep seeing threads about lawyers who hate their jobs. Are there lawyer jobs that are more pleasant or at least less stressful out there?

My DH (not a fed) has consistently told me that people and/or companies only call their lawyers when something bad is going on. You never hear a movie line where someone is doing great and says "I am going to call my lawyer to have a chat!" No you hear people in the back of a cop car or in jail saying "I need to call my lawyer!" That is basically their job - to get people out of jams, which ends up being an emergency = stress for the lawyer.

[Anonymous]

I am happy enough

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is a lawyer and has tried many different set ups over the years. Rarely staying in one role more than 3 years. They LOVE the law and their particular niche in particular. But they are always always stressed out. At law firms it was the billable hours. In house it was the cost cutting measures and weird in fighting. At the most recent place I thought things were going well but recently they have started ruminating again about hours. I have tried forever to get them to go back to therapy - at one point they went and developed a lot of coping skills and that was really really good. But it’s all disappeared now a few years out and they are back to walking around stressed out and snapping at us all. I know I can’t solve this and realistically it’s more about their anxiety than the specific work places but I keep seeing threads about lawyers who hate their jobs. Are there lawyer jobs that are more pleasant or at least less stressful out there?

My DH (not a fed) has consistently told me that people and/or companies only call their lawyers when something bad is going on. You never hear a movie line where someone is doing great and says "I am going to call my lawyer to have a chat!" No you hear people in the back of a cop car or in jail saying "I need to call my lawyer!" That is basically their job - to get people out of jams, which ends up being an emergency = stress for the lawyer.

Hmmm that’s interesting. That did happen some when they were in house. Some people are just better at letting it roll of than others?

[Anonymous]

How senior is your spouse? It can be hard to feel satisfied and content as a younger lawyer driven mostly by the fact that you don't know what you're doing and usually have no control over your schedule. As you get more senior, your confidence in your practice grows, you regain some control over your schedule, but other pressures can arise. But what makes this profession difficult is that it's a service industry. Whether you're in private practice serving demanding clients, or you're in-house serving "clients" within your own organization, you're called upon to address problems or find solutions that your client may or may not like. And lawyers are ALWAYS the one blamed. Even when the client doesn't take their attorney's advice, the attorney still gets blamed.

There are days when I think I cannot do this for another 15 years until I retire. Then there are days when I'm satisfied and content. I enjoy most of my colleagues. But I wouldn't say I'm ever happy per se. My family and my personal life are sources of happiness for me, not work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most fed lawyers love it.

+1 fed lawyers in my prior agency were very happy. Mission-driven and well integrated with clients.

I'm now in house and mostly enjoying it as well. Really depends on the office culture and the people you work with (some luck of the draw on managers and internal clients) and general budget/expectations (e.g., ability to hire outside counsel when needed).

I really like my niche area and that's a big factor too.

[Anonymous]

I'm a lawyer and still have a close group of law school friends, and the answer is no, except for the ones in government.

[Anonymous]

I was never satisfied practicing law. My husband loves big law litigation but he's a bit of a weirdo. I have a friend who was an appellate attorney for the government and he loved his job (he's now a judge, which he also loves). So happy attorneys exist!

I know you say you can't solve it, which is true if by "it" you mean you can't make him happy at his job. But you can be firm about the needs you have in a marriage. You can say he needs to figure out how to not snap at you and the kids, and if that requires finding a new job then that is what he has to do. Just don't let him ever get away with snapping at you.

[Anonymous]

I love it. Government lawyer.

My sibling loves it. Lawyer for a different government.

[Anonymous]

Answer is to go to one of the financial regulators. Good hours and higher pay than gs scale jobs

[Anonymous]

I'm happy in government. But I have been stressed in government too, and I was both happy and stressed at a law firm. A lot of lawyers are anxious people and the pattern here suggests your DH is the "issue," not the job. Send him to therapy.

[Anonymous]

Expanding on the PP who said people only contact you when they’re in trouble…it is a very negative world. Even in counseling or contract work, you always have to look for what could go wrong or who might try to screw you over and try to draft language or policies to prevent that. That’s a large part of why I hated being a lawyer.

Add in the hours and the crises, it’s a horrible job.

[Anonymous]

I am very happy as a lawyer at the World Bank. In-house at a mission-driven institution is a great fit for my interests and skills.

[Anonymous]

I loved it (DOJ) but left because in order to do things right I knew I would never have a life outside of my career. In 8 years I never took a vacation. There were lawyers who worked their 40 hours, and that was it, and that was considered fine—but they were never going to be given interesting cases that mattered, and they got stressed out because that hurt their ego. They wanted the reputation that came with the high profile cases, but didn’t want to do the actual work. At least that is how it was in my litigating division.

So — tough all around.