Chronic illness - how much to share with coworkers?

[Anonymous]

Can anyone provide rules of thumb for how much to share with coworkers about a chronic illness?
We have a good office culture and I like my coworkers. I recently had developed a chronic illness. I had to reschedule some appointments, and I mentioned that it was because I was sick. Are there any limits that I should keep in mind about what to share?

[Anonymous]

I have found that less is more. You may prioritize your career and be able to work but people may perceive that you should be given less opportunities, etc. "for your own good" etc.

I'd control the information and see how the illness plays out and impacts your career. Once shared or over-shared, will spread, perhaps even in industry, and no taking it back.

Best wishes for your health, OP.

[Anonymous]

I would not share anything to start. If someone questions you, then decide what to say. I advise saying the minimum. Once you give up privacy, there's no getting it back.

I don't want to hear about my coworkers' health sagas. I dont even want to hear about my friends and family sagas. Sparing everyone the details and maintainig your privacy is a win/win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not share anything to start. If someone questions you, then decide what to say. I advise saying the minimum. Once you give up privacy, there's no getting it back.,

I don't want to hear about my coworkers' health sagas. I dont even want to hear about my friends and family sagas. Sparing everyone the details and maintaining your privacy is a win/win.

This is so unusual to me, maybe not the coworker part but the close friends and family. My close friends and family are always a support to me and vice versa. When my long-time friend called me and told me she was diagnosed with breast cancer, I took the train to NY that Friday to spend the weekend with her. The weekend before her surgery, I came back and helped her clean; we cooked meals to freeze and I made sure all her comfy clothes were washed and ready. I can't imagine not wanting to know she was dealing with such a scary diagnosis. Of course, the level of support is different with my co-workers, and I don't tell them every detail of everything, but we do share on the surface and offer appropriate support to each other. I should clarify these are members of my immediate team that I work with on a daily basis, not just random coworkers in my department.

OP, I don't know what the rules are but I think you should share whatever you are comfortable with, considering the culture where you work.

[Anonymous]

You might want to hold off until it's clearer if this will be a big deal or if you'll be able to get it under control and well managed in a month or two. You can always say you need to reschedule things and leave it vague--just that you need to take leave then or just that you need to reschedule.

[Anonymous]

How stable is your job? People get fired for missing too many days because of chemo or what not. No one will care and just assume you are telling them so they can cover for your absence/checked out work product. Zero upside.

[Anonymous]

zero. or as little as possible.

[Anonymous]

I agree you shouldn't tell coworkers too much. The reality is a lot of chronic illnesses aren't well understood and people think they are made up, not that serious, or malingering.

However, you should inform your HR and boss(es) once you have a diagnosis, in writing. You can let them know at this time you do not need any accommodations or FMLA but will inform them if that changes and encourage them to talk to you if they have any concerns. The reason for this is just them knowing provides some level of job protection or recourse if you are unfairly fired. There is more to it, but there is protection that kicks in under the ADA just by virtue of your employer knowing you have a condition or suspecting you have a condition. It never hurts to have a little hedge against unfair employment practices.