Responses during tough times

[Anonymous]

How can different people need different things?

I was going through a tough time with a career related experience and I reached out to a peer in the same program. She gave me this spiel about being tough and strong.

In hindsight, what I needed was more of an empathic and compassionate response!!

I assume that type of response was usually given to her by her support team? I was already pedal to the medal and found the response not giving me that cushion that I needed in the moment.


So back to my question, do you think different people need different responses when going through tough times?

[Anonymous]

Ideally, yes. But most ppl don't have the ability to discern what exactly is needed emotionally from the person soliciting a response, and they generally fall back on things they know well.

I have to be explicit with my DH when I vent to him: I need to get this off my chest and I'm not looking for a solution. Then he knows to comfort me rather than making suggestions. It's the same idea.