What do you do when someone passes away and you are executor?

[Anonymous]

Does the estate (eg me) hire an estate lawyer to guide me and file necessary paperwork? Should I use the attorney who wrote the will and trust (and who is my moms age?). We just redid my moms will and now that she’s near me and I’m her poa she changed me to executor. It’s fairly simple division in two and some gifts to other family but I realize I don’t know the actual practicalities of settling an estate. Hopefully this is far off but I’m looking for my own estate planner so this came up in my mind….

[Anonymous]

I'm no expert on this except for the part with having an older lawyer. Not a good idea. I'm pretty sure the estate lawyer we dealt with was going senile, but he certainly knew how to bill. I wish we had taken it to a different lawyer because he had the same emotional liability we dealt with before parent was diagnosed with dementia. The taxes are a big hassle among other things.

[Anonymous]

I’m going through this right now in Pennsylvania. Things vary by county. We hired an estate attorney in the county where my parents lived and where their home is that I am in the process of selling.

[Anonymous]

Yes, definitely use a probate lawyer. Do not try to do this on your own without a lawyer. A relative of mine refused to hire a lawyer, thinking that DIYing probate would be a great way to save money. They made a mess of things with a simple estate that should have been wrapped relatively quickly and stretched it out to take years.

[Anonymous]

You can use the lawyer who drafted the will.

[Anonymous]

Your mom is not Lord Rothschild. Don't waste money on lawyers. Everything you need to know is online.

[Anonymous]

My dad died two years ago and I was the executor of the will. I used the attorney who drafted the will and he walked me through the entire process. It was a complicated situation and took two years to settle. Glad to have it behind me.

[Anonymous]

I considered it an opportunity to learn, but that's just me, and there was no other beneficiary. Probate was not a problem. The Probate Court personnel were very helpful: fill out this form - return it by this date, do this, do that. I didn't hire a lawyer. Not pushing that approach, just saying ... it can be done without, if the situation is not complicated.

Time after that, I was the executor again, and knew so much more.

[Anonymous]

+1 to having a lawyer who is not the same age as the decedent. We went through this with my grandmother and her lawyer, who had been her lawyer for decades, moved at the speed of sludge and slowed everything down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mom is not Lord Rothschild. Don't waste money on lawyers. Everything you need to know is online.

+1 My dad died a few years ago and I was the executor. I called the attorney who wrote the will who was going to charge thousands of dollars. I went online and figured out what I needed to do including filing paperwork with the court. It was not that difficult. All the money was distributed within 6 months.

[Anonymous]

You can either hire an attorney or do it yourself. The attorney really only files the paperwork.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mom is not Lord Rothschild. Don't waste money on lawyers. Everything you need to know is online.

+1 My dad died a few years ago and I was the executor. I called the attorney who wrote the will who was going to charge thousands of dollars. I went online and figured out what I needed to do including filing paperwork with the court. It was not that difficult. All the money was distributed within 6 months.

That’s nice that you were able to do that. My sibling tried to do that and managed to muck up a fairly simple estate. A lot of money was lost because she refused to pay for professional advice about what should be done and when. On the order of $50,000 to possibly as much as $100,000.

We could have easily paid a lawyer and other professionals for their services and each walk away with more of the money our parents worked so hard for. Instead, much was wasted or lost because she thought she could do it all herself.

[Anonymous]

JFC put it all in a trust now! Bypass probate

[Anonymous]

I dread the mess of getting rid of my sister-in-law’s stuff, selling her two homes, etc. A lawyer only helps with the will, right? Who helps with all of the rest? I live hours away 😫

[Anonymous]

Use an attorney - the one who helped do the will can probably do everything you need.

Put as much in a trust now as you possibly can. Streamline/cut down the number of accounts as much as possible.

My mother died 3 years ago and I am STILL trying to close everything out. (She had more than 50 accounts between all of her various savings accounts, stocks, things held in joint name w/ grandchildren, etc...) If she were alive now I'd be yelling at her to start consolidating/closing accounts so there so many to deal with.

Anyway, I digress because I can't believe I'm still in the weeds, but the attorney I have - and the staff they have for dealing w/ untangling messes - have been worth every penny.

So smart of you to be planning now OP.

Also, you didn't ask about this, but I tell all my friends to be sure they are on a joint account that has some money in it. If/when your parent is in the hospital or passes away and you need to be paying their bills, it will make life infinitely easier if you are on their account. And that doesn't have to be a conversation about death - just about "hey Mom, if you ended up in the hospital or rehab for some extended stay, how do I pay the bills until you're home"