How do you get out the door in the morning?

[Anonymous]

I’m getting ready to return to work after maternity leave. We have a three-year-old and a six month old. I have to leave for work at 7, their daycare/preschool opens at 8, husband will do all morning drop offs. The baby will only be going two days a week for now on the days my husband works in the office. But he’ll have to bring her along for drop off the other days too.

My husband is extremely capable and did toddler drop off solo for a year. I’m the one having a bit of anxiety over how he’ll manage getting two kids out the door by himself and get to the office on time.

Any tips or suggestions? We already make sure lunch is made and toddler’s stuff is ready to go the night before. Will do the same for the baby.

[Anonymous]

Tips, suggestions? He puts them in the car and drives to the care center.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tips, suggestions? He puts them in the car and drives to the care center.

How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

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[Anonymous]

It's hectic AF, but it's what everyone does. You get into a routine. It doesn't mean it's always smooth, but you do your best. The baby will be easy emotionally, but will do things like have a blow out as your are loading the car. The toddler will be occasionally unpredictable. I had one kid who was really great in the morning and got out the door easily, and one who laid on the floor crying about pants for almost 2 solid years (bless those summer months with shorts only!).

Trouble shoot the issues when they come up. And it's great this is your DH's role, because it is a pain in the butt!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.doona.com/en-us/doonalab/sensalert/shop-sensalert#:~:text=SensAlert%20connects%20to%20the%20Doona,of%20the%20caregivers'%20phone%20signal.

Is this just to make sure one doesn’t get left behind in the car? We already have systems in place for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's hectic AF, but it's what everyone does. You get into a routine. It doesn't mean it's always smooth, but you do your best. The baby will be easy emotionally, but will do things like have a blow out as your are loading the car. The toddler will be occasionally unpredictable. I had one kid who was really great in the morning and got out the door easily, and one who laid on the floor crying about pants for almost 2 solid years (bless those summer months with shorts only!).

Trouble shoot the issues when they come up. And it's great this is your DH's role, because it is a pain in the butt!!

The toddler is in a pretty good routine now and knock on wood hasn’t had one of those meltdowns in a very long time.

And yes, very grateful my husband is managing this but also definitely wishing my job had more flexibility and better timing. I can’t imagine doing this long-term but surely plenty of families have to get multiple kids out the door solo.

[Anonymous]

I’d describe our mourning leaving the house routine as a daily fire drill haha - I have 4 kids and it’s hectic. But it’s fine! Agree with doing whatever you can the night before.

But also: if you’re not the one doing it, don’t worry / borrow trouble (yet)!

[Anonymous]

Where is the baby going on the days DH works from home? Is he going to attempt caring for a 6mo and work at the same time? This seems like a recipe for disaster.

[Anonymous]

My kids wake early so this may or may not be helpful if your kids sleep until 7 or so, but I am the one that leaves early as well and one thing I do is try to make sure the kids are dressed before we go downstairs and that seems to help a lot from husband's reports. Dressed with shoes on. Bib for breakfast if needed. A little tough with 6 month old but maybe choose less messy things for breakfast (and accept clothes might not be perfect leaving). Then I head out about 7:15 and my husband is getting them breakfast etc then they play a little while he pulls things together and there is no wrangling for shoes or pants while trying to get them out the door when it is time to make that transition.

When your 3 year old is older (mine are now 3 and 6), we made a chart with pictures of my older one doing her morning tasks (getting dressed, bed, packing backpack etc), and she does all those things before breakfast and playing. Again makes the transition out of the house way better and the solid routine of that being consistent every morning REALLY helps so that now she is much more independent.

[Anonymous]

Also, to add of course my husband is capable and could do the wrangling of getting dressed, I don't do it because he isn't capable but because mornings are especially hard in my opinion and doing it on your own without your partner is no joke. So if there is something i can do to help I try and I know he would do the same for me (and does with many other things)

[Anonymous]

Three things that work for us:
1) no negotiations. There’s an easy way and a hard way. That’s it.
2) try to build in flex time. “If we’re ready in time, we can have an episode of Bluey” is a bribe I’m fine with and it’s a good cushion for if something comes up (like an extra poop or a hangnail or a spill or whatever). If they miss the reward and are upset it’s just “we can try again tomorrow.”
3) if toddler is freaking out about something weird, I usually ask if they’re feeling nervous about school and the answer is usually yes. I think that’s the root of most morning rush problems. I provide a lot of comfort and reassurance about that within the bounds of rule 1

[Anonymous]

It is easier to do than it sounds - I got my three kids out the door solo beginning at ages 5, 3, and six months - trust that DH can do this!

Are you worried about going back to work in general and this is the form the worry is taking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is easier to do than it sounds - I got my three kids out the door solo beginning at ages 5, 3, and six months - trust that DH can do this!

Are you worried about going back to work in general and this is the form the worry is taking?

Not so much work as dislike of having to go back to this particular job. I remember also dreading it with my son and it not being as bad as I thought, but I also returned as working from home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, to add of course my husband is capable and could do the wrangling of getting dressed, I don't do it because he isn't capable but because mornings are especially hard in my opinion and doing it on your own without your partner is no joke. So if there is something i can do to help I try and I know he would do the same for me (and does with many other things)

This is 100% us. We try to set each other up for success and do as much as we can to make each other’s lives easier. I don’t think I could handle morning drop off. I also get dinged at work if I’m more than 5 minutes late so that adds another layer of stress. But husband’s work is more understanding and flexible except for a standing meeting one day at 9:30.