Dealing with the stress of being the breadwinner

[Anonymous]

I'm a mom of a one year old and I'm the breadwinner in the family. I'm looking for a new job because my current law firm is deteriorating: tumbling employee morale, rumors of upcoming second round layoffs, disinterest from management in training and career prospects, overemphasis on billable rates tot he exclusion of quality of performance. We're not hurting financially-- we have new management and they only care about revenue.
But anyways. I don't even really care about my income, I am terrified of losing my family's health insurance. I am still performing well at work, but I live with this ugly burden on my shoulders that leaves me anxious and exhausted and unhappy.
Anyone else going through this? Any recommendations?

[Anonymous]

Eight months of living expenses in the bank - AKA - "fock you money".

[Anonymous]

OP here-- HAH. True. We have 12 months expenses in a savings account, and some extra in liquid assets. But honestly-- that's why I'm not too worried about income. Our expenses are low. I am terrified of losing health insurance. God forbid one of us is hospitalized for some reason.... that would be devastating.
(Deep breathing)

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you'd be able to afford COBRA. And if you are in good health, you can certainly get an individual policy. Hell, if you are in bad health, but have been covered in a group plan, you are HIPAA eligible and can get a guaranteed-issue individual policy (albeit at a high cost).

Weirdly, I'm pretty sure I know which firm you are at. I was axed during the first round of layoffs. It sucked then, but it sucks really bad now!

[Anonymous]

Ditto the COBRA. I wouldn't worry too much if you have that much savings. You'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Take up roller derby. Great for stress relief, and you might as well use the health insurance if you've got it. Kidding...sort of.

Banking savings per previous poster is right-on. It does sound like you could swingthe COBRA if you had to. You could also get a short-term policy if you needed to if everyone's healthy.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think what you are feeling is completely normal. I too think the thought of losing health insurance through job loss is one of the scariest things for single earner households with kids. I know my DH does not want the responsibility of being the sole breadwinner, and I do not want that title either (even though I outearn him by several folds right now) for the same reason.

Do you have a DH, and is it possible for him to get a job with health insurance, even if it is low paying and light on the hours?

If not, you may find relief when you move to a more stable job. I think law firms are very stressful places in terms of long term job security, especially for people who want to achieve any sort of work-life balance. The overwhelming trend is toward productivity-based models of advancement and compensation, rather than performance-based models, and the economic pressures are making what used to be a fairly stable career path (once you made partner) into a very unstable one.

Not sure that helps you in the meantime, but I do think your next job is bound to be more stable. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

When I lost my job a couple years back, I was able to get a catastrophic health insurance policy for $100/month. It didn't cover routine visits, but had something serious happened, I would have been liable for the first $2K of expenses, then the policy would have taken over. It was a relief to have SOMETHING covering me. (COBRA was expensive and I was healthy.) Of course it didn't cover pregnancy... and wouldn't you know, I got pregnant.

Just wanted you to know you have some options...

Also, is your husband able to work? As another poster said, worst case, maybe he could get a not-so-high paying job that would offer insurance coverage for your family, worst case.