If you have a difficult to pronounce name

[Anonymous]

Would you prefer I attempt to pronounce it correctly and possibly do a terrible job or lead with “I’m sorry I don’t know how to pronounce your name?”

[Anonymous]

I grew up with such a name. First of all, thank you for asking. Second, you are not the first to mispronounce it and I understand that it's tricky. So I'm expecting it.

rather than what you wrote, I'd say, "how do I pronounce your name?" (leave out the apology and make it a short question) and be casual about it. It's really no big deal.

And if you try and get it wrong, it's no big deal either.

[Anonymous]

Just ask. I’m not offended, I know if you try you’ll get it wrong just like literally everyone else.

I also don’t get mad if you mispronounce my name, and I will politely correct you. Just please don’t be like an old professor and refuse to learn it. It’s not hard once you know how to say it.

[Anonymous]

If you do attempt to say it, follow with "Did I pronounce your name correctly?" to give them the opportunity to correct you.

If you don't want to try, just kindly ask how to pronounce it. Your wording "I don't know how to pronounce your name" sounds ignorant and rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just ask. I’m not offended, I know if you try you’ll get it wrong just like literally everyone else.

I also don’t get mad if you mispronounce my name, and I will politely correct you. Just please don’t be like an old professor and refuse to learn it. It’s not hard once you know how to say it.

+1 what offends me is when people (like my immediate neighbors who I see a few times a week) pretend to be nice but don't even care to learn my name. Such snobs

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do, don't just assign me a different name that's easier for you.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s a sign of respect to use someone’s correct name. I always say “would you mind pronouncing it for me? I want to make sure I say it correctly.”

[Anonymous]

I just always say "I can't say your name so I'll just call you G".

[Anonymous]

I am not offended at all if my name is mispronounced. I hope the person who says it incorrectly is not offended if I gently say “ Oh, it’s pronounced ********. “

[Anonymous]

I have a very difficult to pronounce last name and a first name that some people say incorrectly

I want my first name correct -it's not hard

If I am going to be working with you for a while i want you to know my last name -- but you will have to ask and that is fine. i will tell you it's the same as it's spelled. id never be offended if someone asked again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just always say "I can't say your name so I'll just call you G".

Don’t do this. I understand my name is hard to say but I’d rather you mispronounce it or never say it again rather than actively change it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you do attempt to say it, follow with "Did I pronounce your name correctly?" to give them the opportunity to correct you.

If you don't want to try, just kindly ask how to pronounce it. Your wording "I don't know how to pronounce your name" sounds ignorant and rude.

Thank you for the suggested phrasing (and the other PP!). My suggestion was meant to be apologetic sounding, but understand how it doesn’t work. I am one who genuinely wants to pronounce names correctly so the opportunity to correct is helpful.

[Anonymous]

Working in healthcare, I do like walking in the room and saying “hello. ___“ and using the person’s name as part of greeting. So if it’s a name I’m not sure about I will very quickly follow up with a slightly apologetic sounding “did I pronounce your name correctly?“ And they can let me know if I didn’t. It’s potentially awkward if I say it wrong, but it’s also part of making sure I’m in the right room with the right patient. People are usually very nice about it if I haven’t gotten their pronunciation quite right

[Anonymous]

People ask how to pronounce my name. I tell them. They still mispronounce it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you do attempt to say it, follow with "Did I pronounce your name correctly?" to give them the opportunity to correct you.

If you don't want to try, just kindly ask how to pronounce it. Your wording "I don't know how to pronounce your name" sounds ignorant and rude.

+1 this is perfect.

I'm Indian-American and have a name that is unfamiliar to some. It's fine to ask. I also don't mind if someone says it a little incorrectly in a way that's basically phonetic. It's weird to me if someone says it in a totally random non-phonetic way (it's a short name) - that feels like they just don't care. I will find a pause and gently correct someone if they say it wrong.

It only upsets me in contexts where someone should have asked beforehand. For example, being introduced as a speaker at a conference. If you don't know, please ask beforehand and not make it a thing I'm front of a huge # of people. But in regular work meetings or social contexts it's NBD.