Finding friends in middle age

[Anonymous]

Seems like a funny post to ask but curious for married couples that move to new city. My take is most women look to find and make friends through schools or church or other volunteer activity and their spouses usually just “friend” the spouses of the wives that become friends. Is this what others see as couples age?

[Anonymous]

A lot of men have strong friendships from early in their life, high school or college. They loosely keep in touch but that's enough for them to feel connected. We travel together as couples every few years. In that case, as the spouse, I'm making friends with the wives.

[Anonymous]

so the city we live in is unimportant. Same for the friends. We travel to see each other no matter where we both live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of men have strong friendships from early in their life, high school or college. They loosely keep in touch but that's enough for them to feel connected. We travel together as couples every few years. In that case, as the spouse, I'm making friends with the wives.

So do women. ??

[Anonymous]

of course they do. Doesn't mean I wasn't answering Op's question! geez

[Anonymous]

I think it's hard if you want to be couples friend. My husband makes friends through work and I make friends through work, volunteering, exercise group, etc. Sure we might be at functions as couples and I like the wives of his friends and vice versa, but in terms of being close as couples, it's too much pressure. It works best for me to make my own friends and if there is an easy event where he can meet the spouse like a party-great, then maybe we would try getting together as a couple if both sides want it.

[Anonymous]

Like PP suggested, my husband is content with his old friends and doesn't really want to make new friends. I'm trying to make new friends, but they are all already in well established friend groups (my children are late ES/middle school), so I need to find myself some hobbies.