Picking the right/wrong school

[Anonymous]

Anyone wondering if they just put down a deposit to something they know nothing about? I'm getting cold feet at the prospect of spending so much money on a school and accepting after one tour, one parent interview, and one sit around and wait for child to finish with playdate, and the all important "reputation". I think I've researched my cell phone more.

Anyone pick a school and later regret it? Is it really possible to know whether your family fits after a few short interactions? I'm freaking out that we're going to be committing to something so large and real after relatively little research.

[Anonymous]

I am in that position. The school that we have a deposit on may be too big and unfriendly for us. We are sheepishly re-approaching another school.

[Anonymous]

You won't know for sure until you get there. The worst that could happen is that your child has a less than stellar year, and yes, this could be pretty bad for the child. But children are quite resilient. At most, you're committing to just one year. If it's not what you envisioned, you can always apply your child out or try your public school option.

[Anonymous]

I know it's hard to accept, but even the most perfectly selected school will present you with up and down years. Some teachers will click better with your child than others, some years will present social difficulties for your child you didn't (couldn't) anticipate, and so forth. This is true at all schools, even excellent private ones. It's very important for parents to select as carefully as they can and also to reassess carefully each year. But I don't think you would want to change schools every other year in search of the "perfect" situation. Changing schools is stressful to your kids and denies them the opportunity to make the best of things during tough times -- an important life skill. Sorry if this seems patronizing -- I have had the exact same worries expressed here and I have to give myself this little pep talk every so often.

[Anonymous]

Since school is still in session, ask to observe at the school. Not just in the grade your child will be in next year but also a higher grade. Most schools have no problem with this and neither will most good teachers. You can always make yourself useful during the visit by stapling papers or something. Can you picture your child there? Find a child who reminds you of your own. That will go a long way in helping you feel better about your choice. A school tour esp if it was on a weekend isn't much to go on. If you are going to be paying $20,000+ per year, you better know what you are in for.