Advice Needed - Missing Work Trips For IVF

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone,

I am on my 9th egg retrieval (also had a few FETs), looking for advice/feedback on how to deal with missing work trips for egg retrievals. I am a field based employee, and I travel to the West coast for company meetings/functions about once a month (meeting dates are set by leadership, I have no control over).

Over the years, I missed a few of these meetings due to my egg retrievals/FETs. My upcoming egg retrieval once again is smacked in the middle of another one these work trip meetings, so looks like I'll need to miss another meeting. It always works out this way unfortunately.

I am also AMA so don't have time to waste either. How did your company/manager/team feel about you always MIA at company meetings? Did you have to switch jobs to make IVF work?

Thanks for any comments/suggestion/advice!

[Anonymous]

Won't this qualify as FMLA, such that you are protected?

[Anonymous]

Have you shared with your manager that you’re going through ivf? I also did 9 retrievals, 5 FET’s, and was AMA, and had to share with my boss, because I couldn’t “hide” all the appointments and procedures. Same for my husband. Turned out both of our managers had gone through ivf to build their families. Clearly random luck, but it’s been my experience that sharing results in many more people sharing their experience with infertility than you might expect.

You didn’t mention if you’ve found your employer/manager to be family-friendly, but I’m assuming you don’t think so, or you wouldn’t be asking the question.

Good luck, OP. I was so emotionally and physically tired by the time we got to 9. I hope you have an amazing support network helping you along this journey

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the replies.

I am able to use sick days/vacation time for the IVF procedures.

I have told my direct manager and some colleagues about my IVF journey, but it's the optics that I worry about. I know people will still talk about how I am always MIA, and manager/colleagues aren't happy as they have to pick up the workload.

I work for a company where if they want to push you out, they can find a reason to. For example, I know a colleague who had to miss work a lot to care for a sick parent with cancer, the speculation was that they decided this no longer fits their needs and found a reason to get her to leave.

Again, appreciate your support.

[Anonymous]

Can you give more details on your journey? Do you have a long journey ahead? Do you have a "stopping" point? It sounds like your prospects aren't good?

If you are planning to continue for 5 more retrievals and FET until the cows come home then yeah I would look for another job. Especially if you could get fertility benefits too. That said, keep in mind you can't get pregnant for 3 months after switching or you lose FMLA protection.

[Anonymous]

9th retrieval???

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the responses. Yes 9th retrieval unfortunately. I had a successful IVF a few years ago and have a baby from that, and we're currently on our journey for another child.

I think my previous clinic didn't know how to deal with DOR, so my retrievals 4-7 were a total bust. I switched clinics and on my first try, we got 1 euploid but unfortunately FET ended in a chemical. My current RE is optimistic that we'll have success since I got a euploid on my 1st try here, and the embryo implanted but just didn't progress (and also I've had a healthy pregnancy before).

I told myself I was done with IVF, but then the only way out of this hopeless situation (and to have some hope) is to continue trying. The stopping point keeps on shifting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the responses. Yes 9th retrieval unfortunately. I had a successful IVF a few years ago and have a baby from that, and we're currently on our journey for another child.

I think my previous clinic didn't know how to deal with DOR, so my retrievals 4-7 were a total bust. I switched clinics and on my first try, we got 1 euploid but unfortunately FET ended in a chemical. My current RE is optimistic that we'll have success since I got a euploid on my 1st try here, and the embryo implanted but just didn't progress (and also I've had a healthy pregnancy before).

I told myself I was done with IVF, but then the only way out of this hopeless situation (and to have some hope) is to continue trying. The stopping point keeps on shifting.

How old are you? Are you honest with yourself about the stats based on your age?

[Anonymous]

I am 38 years old. I know the prospects are not great at this age, but it’s not impossible with my stats, and that’s why I’ve held on to hope. I am definitely a more difficult case (unexplained).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 38 years old. I know the prospects are not great at this age, but it’s not impossible with my stats, and that’s why I’ve held on to hope. I am definitely a more difficult case (unexplained).

38 is not bad at all! Definitely still worth trying! Best of luck!