Husbands remarks about other women

[Anonymous]

We’ve been in affair recovery for awhile. He made a remark on text to a male friend of his about a scene we saw in a show recently that was a sex scene/steamy and noted he was “forever changed” with a smiley face. The scene was with a married man and a younger woman. I’m upset but also realize I might be over reacting. I think I’m combination to seeing a text where a mutual male friend said to another mutual friend that my husband “got his hand caught in the cookie jar” referring to the affair I’m just kind of disgusted

[Anonymous]

Set a boundary you get to decide those not him.

[Anonymous]

Get rid of that jerk - so he thinks its all a big joke?!
F*** him!

At the very least look your best and get some male attention and make sure he knows it. Make him nervous.

[Anonymous]

Why do you want to stay with him?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you are overreacting at all. I would be concerned your DH has toxic friends who don’t respect women. I don’t think the first text is so bad but the “cookie jar” joke is. You are who you are friends with, and your DH is friends with people who think having an affair is not a big deal, and that is a red flag. Of course context could change all that, sometimes men are just disgusting pigs. My husband has definitely made jokes I don’t think are funny or appropriate but not about a topic as sensitive as this and with a friend.

[Anonymous]

Those two texts are a sign you married a kind of scuzzy guy who hangs out with other scuzzy guys.

DH would definitely comment on a sexy scene in a movie if it came up in conversation, but reaching out to a friend to . . . what, recommend it? with emojis?? is very strange homosocial bonding for an adult man.

And for your "mutual" friend to make the cookie jar comment tells me two things: 1) he doesn't think cheating is a big deal, and 2) he knows your DH has done much more than what he got caught doing.

[Anonymous]

Damn your husband runs with a rough crowd are they Wall Street bros?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been in affair recovery for awhile. He made a remark on text to a male friend of his about a scene we saw in a show recently that was a sex scene/steamy and noted he was “forever changed” with a smiley face. The scene was with a married man and a younger woman. I’m upset but also realize I might be over reacting. I think I’m combination to seeing a text where a mutual male friend said to another mutual friend that my husband “got his hand caught in the cookie jar” referring to the affair I’m just kind of disgusted

How did you come to see this text?

Normally, I'd say you're overreacting and to roll your eyes, but in your circumstances I understand why you are upset.

But I don't understand how you came to see the text. That matters.

[Anonymous]

Is it absolutely necessary for you to read his texts? I'm sure you decided to for a valid reason. But if it's not helping, maybe it's not worth it?

[Anonymous]

Lose him. Seriously. He's a POS.

And stop looking at other people's texts.

[Anonymous]

He needs to change a bit that’s for sure but would you mind telling me what the title of the movie was?

[Anonymous]

"We’ve been in affair recovery for awhile"

Incorrect. You have been in recovery. He doesnt GAF with the way he's talking to other people. He's lying to your face.

[Anonymous]

Minus the first sentence, this is just douchey broculture messiness. Gross, but meh. But in the context of him already having had an affair, and allegedly doing the work to make amends and repair, this is toxic af and strongly suggests he's a disingenuous POS.

DTMFA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We’ve been in affair recovery for awhile"

Incorrect. You have been in recovery. He doesnt GAF with the way he's talking to other people. He's lying to your face.

+1 He's playing you like a cheap fiddle, OP. Sorry to say.

[Anonymous]

what a guy. I bet he'd make a great father figure. Do you guys have kids?