What do travel sports obsessed parents do after the youngest kid goes off to college?

[Anonymous]

We know a husband and wife whose youngest is off to college this fall. He will not play college sports. This couple's entire and I mean entire identity for the past like fifteen years has been carting their kids to practices, training, camps, and out of town tournaments. Every waking moment it seems. They're only in their late 40s. Do travel sports couples like this struggle with their departure from that sporty orbit and all of their newfound free time?

[Anonymous]

Oh yes they struggle. They struggle a lot.

[Anonymous]

We survived. That first year we woke up on Saturday mornings and couldn't believe that we didn't have a soccer game or track meet or some other event to go to. We could sleep until noon! We went to Italy for a week in September. We went skiing for a random week in February, not spring break.

[Anonymous]

At our house, we celebrated having our evenings and weekends back. We happily did things we wanted to do in our down time. Wouldn’t change a thing because our kids loved their sports experiences and never planned to play in college. We enjoyed watching them and enjoyed the families we got to know. The years we spent in the sports world felt long but in the grand scheme, were just a phase like everything else with raising kids.

[Anonymous]

hmm I guess we have no idea what their plans are.

[Anonymous]

We plan to spend a ton of time golfing/tennis at our beach home and travel!

[Anonymous]

We are in the process of dealing with this, and I am having a harder time than my husband. It's not that his identity is wrapped up with their sports lives; he absolutely loved watching the kids play sports (and coaching them when they were younger). He misses them and supporting their athletic endeavors. We do remain friends with families we met through their sports, so some of the social aspects have not gone away.

For me, I feel liberated to engage in less stressful activities of my choice. I started a volunteer job that I love, and that has helped with the transition.

[Anonymous]

I would imagine they are not spending their time wondering about what random acquaintances are doing on DCUM, which already puts them far ahead of OP in the game of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would imagine they are not spending their time wondering about what random acquaintances are doing on DCUM, which already puts them far ahead of OP in the game of life.

+1

[Anonymous]

Depression.

[Anonymous]

Do you feel good being superior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are in the process of dealing with this, and I am having a harder time than my husband. It's not that his identity is wrapped up with their sports lives; he absolutely loved watching the kids play sports (and coaching them when they were younger). He misses them and supporting their athletic endeavors. We do remain friends with families we met through their sports, so some of the social aspects have not gone away.

For me, I feel liberated to engage in less stressful activities of my choice. I started a volunteer job that I love, and that has helped with the transition.

The parents' social aspect is what I assume is the hardest adjustment. You can say you'll remain friends but if those friends are still wrapped up in travel sports with their younger kids, they're still socializing and boozing with each other in the travel sports obit. It's not like you are going to drive to the hotels they're all staying at to hang out. It sounds like it must be depressing, at least at first. Kids are gone and so are so many of your adult friends.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 in travel sports and can’t wait for it to be over TBH. lol. Our social life definitely doesn’t revolve around it. We take turns carting them to games, and sometimes don’t attend at all. We like the parents fine and have made a few friends along the way- but many of the other parents we barely even know. Kids change teams, come and go.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't call my family obsessed, and my kids are not school-aged anymore, but they played travel soccer, ODP, and school soccer from elementary school through high school age. It seemed like our lives revolved around soccer. Every weekend was soccer. Some weekends, we had to drive to Richmond for a 3-hour ODP practice early on Sunday morning. 3 to 4 days a week after school, it was soccer practice. Most holiday weekends, we were at soccer tournaments, sometimes hours away. It was exhausting but also a lot of fun. I'm still friends with several of the other parents from our teams.

Now, I have time for my hobbies, which were always on the back burner. I love NYC, and my best friend lives there; now, I'm able to go on most holiday weekends. I've started knitting again reading more, and I never have to say no to a brunch invitation from friends. I have time for a dog now, so I got one. We go hiking and go on long walks.

Sometimes I look back and miss the fun times and some of the other parents that I don't see anymore, but I do not miss the hustle and bustle of getting everyone to where they needed to be. I don't miss standing out and watching my kid play in the bitter cold, rain, or snow. I don't miss sitting in horrific traffic on 95 or 66 (we live in DC, but our kids' teams played in VA leagues). It was my kids' choice to play, and I have no regrets. But it feels like I have my life back now.

[Anonymous]

I watch my D1 kid play her sport most weekends in the fall season. Enjoy being an empty nester while I focus on work. Anymore questions?