Single mom housing situation

[Anonymous]

Hello! What would you do in this situation...

I work making around 30k. I have been applying for better jobs and doing some side hustles but nothing worth a dent has come through.

My BF is very kind and DD and I live with him. (He is not her dad. We haven't seen her dad in 5 years, his choice). She has her own room and bath. He travels half the time is not there. We have known him many years.

However, I am feeling blah about the connection. I feel like I have no license to tell my truth because if we break up, I won't have anywhere to live.

I can't find anything in DC that I can afford. I tried many months, even for room rentals, the whole thing. My daughter is finally flourishing in school so I don't want to move out of the district at least until the end of the school year.

So I am wondering... what would you do?

Talk to the bf? Any advice on backup plan for housing? Just suck it up a few months?

Thank you for your help.

[Anonymous]

Take this time to get skills or training, connections or education to get a better paying job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take this time to get skills or training, connections or education to get a better paying job.

+1. $30K per year is like $15 per hour. Surely in this area you can find higher paid work then see what your options look like.

[Anonymous]

yes. Look into DC government jobs--they also have homebuyer assistance for when you're ready for that. If you are on the younger side, look at Year Up--they pay a stipend and place you in good jobs.

[Anonymous]

I was in an abusive relationship for a year while I tried to get out of school and a better job. Got to the 10 months mark when he really lost it and assaulted both of us. I left and haven't looked back. Wildly successful.

[Anonymous]

You need to be doing way more. Either go back to school or take online trainings. You have a perfect jumping off point and are wasting it being lazy and complacent. Dont do your daughter a disservice and waste this opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Just put a date on the calendar for 1 year from now. Plan on a better job and different housing situation at that time. Your BF may not be planning his future with you either; no talk of marriage, right? So it may be ok with you both. But as PPs have said, use this time wisely.

[Anonymous]

PP from above. Also as a single mom, be wary next time of even unintentionally connecting your and your daughter's basic needs with a relationship with a man. I get that you're just trying to survive. But you'll never be able to evaluate a relationship on its merit if you're depending on it for survival.

- Single mom who had to kick her partner out, and thank God I had the means to do it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in an abusive relationship for a year while I tried to get out of school and a better job. Got to the 10 months mark when he really lost it and assaulted both of us. I left and haven't looked back. Wildly successful.

Yeah, but from what OP says, this man isn't abusive. She's just not feeling the relationship anymore.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thank you for your help. I assure you I have been applying to jobs for many months and I do have a degree.

For example, an assistant job I applied to responded that they had 600 applicants for one position! So it feels frustrating but I will keep trying.

There are many jobs I feel capable of doing but I don't have experience/references.

I will receive around 2k tax refund that I was thinking to help for getting a place but you all have helped encourage me to use for more job training. I am very greatful.

ATM I work 30hour at 20/hr. It's not true FT because I have to get my daughter from school but there is a paid after school option if need be.

Thank you again for your kind and mostly non judgmental assistance. I really appreciate it 🙏

[Anonymous]

I bet you'd make more than $20 if you went to a temp agency assuming your degree isn't in a completely useless field. You may also get hired temp to perm.

[Anonymous]

I would also suggest the temp jobs too. Lots of people hire from temp agencies. Our secretaries make 75-100k but clearly you need skills to work up to that.

What’s your degree in?

[Anonymous]

Do you have family?

[Anonymous]

I worked as a nanny when my child was young. I brought him to work with me. It worked out well.

[Anonymous]

Is Co-Abode still going? I thought about registering for that years ago in order to afford housing.