Anyone here have parents abroad who are not doing great?

[Anonymous]

And if so how often do you go back?
Mine are in europe, I have a ft job here and 2 kids under 10. Only child. They have live in help but things are a bit chaotic health wise. Would love to hear how others handle this.

[Anonymous]

My experience was in the past. Also an only child and at the time had a toddler and worked FT. Parents lived in Europe in my mother’s home country (dad is American). We visited twice a year—Christmas and summer. Then my mom got cancer and lived with it for three years. My dad handled the logistics of her medical care. They also had live-in help, which was a blessing because at least my dad didn’t have to deal with cooking and cleaning. They hired nurses towards the end of my mother’s illness who were at their place 24/7 so my dad didn’t have to take her to the toilet, bathe her, or give her meds, etc. There really wasn’t much for me to do. I spoke to both of them often on the phone, usually separately, to offer my support that way. I managed to get back to Europe to see her the week she died and then stayed on and handled the funeral arrangements. In retrospect, I’m glad they were there instead of here because the kind of assistance they got from the live-in housekeeper and the round-the-clock nurses would not have been affordable in the US. I was secretly grateful that I did not have to manage their lives while working full-time and taking care of a small child. After my mom passed, my dad returned to the US and lived another decade. By the time he needed my help, my child was older, and it was easier to manage both of their needs. I feel for you OP, but there’s only so much you can do when you have to work and when you have young children to take care of. These obligations need to come first.

[Anonymous]

I have a dad who I am moving to the U.S. right now. Going there in Feb to handle the interview and bring him over.