Was getting ready for embryo transfer; father is seriously ill

[Anonymous]

I am about to turn 37 in March. I was getting ready for an embryo transfer in February but I found out that my father, who lives abroad, is seriously ill. In addition to deep deep pain, this has thrown a wrench in my plans. I have lost 3lbs due to not eating and crying and stress. I am also not sure when I’ll have to hop on a plane to fly over there.

How can I move forward with an embryo transfer in this mess? I have already delayed it due to my husbands surgery and recovery. I am losing time!!! 😭

[Anonymous]

Do you have any living children? How many embryos do you have? I would not transfer under sub optimal conditions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any living children? How many embryos do you have? I would not transfer under sub optimal conditions

No. I lost two tubes to 2 ectopic pregnancies. This is our first IVF cycle and would be our first transfer. We have 3 embryos.

[Anonymous]

There will never be a good time. Please take care of your health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any living children? How many embryos do you have? I would not transfer under sub optimal conditions

No. I lost two tubes to 2 ectopic pregnancies. This is our first IVF cycle and would be our first transfer. We have 3 embryos.

Have you had your endometriosis addressed (either suppressed or removed)? Are the embryos tested?

3 embryos = 1 child, maybe 2 (but odds are against it). Do you want more than 1 child?

[Anonymous]

Gently, you have to get yourself together & set your priorities.
Is there anything you can do for your father? Then do it. If you feel it is dire, maybe go now..maybe see him sooner rather than later?
Maybe once you resolve your feelings around your dad, you can put more energy towards you transfer.

[Anonymous]

Im so sorry. A successful transfer would be wonderful news for your dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am about to turn 37 in March. I was getting ready for an embryo transfer in February but I found out that my father, who lives abroad, is seriously ill. In addition to deep deep pain, this has thrown a wrench in my plans. I have lost 3lbs due to not eating and crying and stress. I am also not sure when I’ll have to hop on a plane to fly over there.

How can I move forward with an embryo transfer in this mess? I have already delayed it due to my husbands surgery and recovery. I am losing time!!! 😭

Just do the transfer. Don’t overthink it. Do it.

[Anonymous]

Our clinic recommends no travel by plane until confirmed pregnancy test which is about 9 days after transfer but they said they highly recommend not traveling by plane until heartbeat ultrasound/discharge

I'd check with your Drs recommendations

[Anonymous]

If I were you, I would consider waiting. I know how hard it is (and I also lost a tube to an ectopic after my first IVF transfer). You want to feel good about the cycle, so if you need an extra month, just take the extra time. It was always harder when I had a birthday coming because in my head I would say that I thought I would be pregnant or have a baby by the time I was X years old, but waiting another month at age 36-37 will have no appreciable effect of success on your odds. Being super stressed about is certainly worse than an extra month’s time. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

I would wait and do another cycle and bank lots embryos when things calm down before any transfers

[Anonymous]

What illness does he have? The reason I'm asking is because sometimes it's a serious illness but it's an illness that can last years and therefore there will never be a perfect time.