Elderly Mom Keeps Falling

[Anonymous]

Around a year ago or maybe a year and a half (I no longer remember) we moved my mom to an assisted living facility because was falling more frequently and needed people around who could help her up and check in on her daily etc. She continued to have some sporadic falls, and then about a week and a half ago had two falls in 12 hrs, one of which sent her to the ER. Then three days later she was at the doctor's office and fell again, this time fracturing her clavicle, and a vertebra. She was in the ER for two or three days waiting for a rehab bed to open up. She had been complaining of back pain that no one addressed for a week, and that's when they found the fractured vertebra and sent her into surgery to have a rod placed in her back. We don't know yet if they'll do surgery for the clavicle--it's wait and see at this point.

She's never been very active and I'm sure her lack of body strength is going to have a negative effect on her ability to heal. She's had other issues in life--in her late forties she stepped in a hole wrong and broke her leg to the point it needed a metal plate and multiple surgeries to repair, she's had a couple of other back surgeries for herniated disks etc. Her sister recently died of covid, and my stepfather has been gone many years, so she's lonely and depressed, but she's never been very social and won't socialize at the independent living place she lived or at the assisted living place. She wasn't exactly a Cracker Jack mother, so it's hard for us kids to want to pitch in and help out much. One of my brothers helps the most, and me second. The rest do little or nothing.

I guess I don't really have a question or need advice, just wanted to put this out there--maybe someone has been through something similar and can relate. I can relate to what someone on another post said insofar as science has made it possible for us to live longer than we really should in some cases. Why do surgery on someone who will likely end up dying of pneumonia because they can't get out of bed--how is my mom going to get out of bed with only one good arm, no real body strength, and back surgery.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you are going through this. Is there anything cognitively wrong with your mom? I ask because if she is cognitively fine, what caused her falls? Is she dizzy or something like that? Can she use a walker or a wheelchair? If she is going to rehab, they can advise how feasible rehab is for her and whether it is something she wants to do. Many seniors don't want to do rehab. It's hard work and they might prefer to use wheelchairs or walkers.

I don't know her overall condition, but there is no reason she has to go through surgeries with extensive recoveries. If she has no quality of life, maybe she wants to be on palliative care (or hospice if she has 6 months left to live).

[Anonymous]

That is rough. Does the AL have fall prevention exercises? It won't stop it completely, but it is important to work on balance. Alternatively, you could have a PT work on this. That said, they can't work miracles. Something to keep in mind for all of us is to as we age keep working on balance and strength training and hope for the best,

Also, is she on an SSRI? Some can increase chance of falling. However, sometimes the risk of fall is worth it if the behavior is terrible off it because people do get kicked out of AL.

[Anonymous]

Hi, OP. Sorry to hear. How old is she? My mom has had back issues for years, a couple of surgeries, spinal stenosis and falls. Falls are attributed to neuropathy and luckily she has never been hospitalized. She is 84 and she and my dad still live in their house. I am worried because I sense they don't tell me everything going on, and from observation, not much I can discern. They are cognitively fine. To answer your question, they will do what they want to do, surgery or other treatment. People that age have a very different take on the risk-benefit calculations in healthcare.

[Anonymous]

I can relate to some of this. If you’re in the DC area, it could be worth seeing if your mom qualifies for inpatient at the NRH — if she’s motivated to do their program. My mom had different issues, but they truly gave her back her quality of life.
Also, has your mom had her hearing and vision tested recently? If those are factors that have increased her fall risk, they might be easy to improve.

It’s hard, OP. And I do get the difficulties that can go along with trying to address a parent’s complex needs — when your own childhood might have included some significant unmet needs. 🪷

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can relate to some of this. If you’re in the DC area, it could be worth seeing if your mom qualifies for inpatient at the NRH — if she’s motivated to do their program. My mom had different issues, but they truly gave her back her quality of life.
Also, has your mom had her hearing and vision tested recently? If those are factors that have increased her fall risk, they might be easy to improve.

It’s hard, OP. And I do get the difficulties that can go along with trying to address a parent’s complex needs — when your own childhood might have included some significant unmet needs. 🪷

To add - I just remembered going crazy in my mom’s closet after she once had a fall. No more heels (they were low, but still required balance) and I got rid of her older worn down Easy Spirits because even a small amount of wear on the heel could be enough to significantly impact balance, and newer shoes had more support.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, I don’t have any advice except to say, I am in a similar position. In fact, my mom was in the ER yesterday for falling in her house and hitting her head. She has fallen SO many times. Unfortunately, she refuses to move and my father is not a good caretaker (or interested in caretaking). It’s been awful. My siblings and I have tried talking with them but we have gotten nowhere. I’m sorry you are going through this too.

[Anonymous]

I hate to tell you this but I was in a meeting with folks from the National Safety Council years ago where data was shared on falls risk for seniors. Once they start falling, it is a precipitous decline. You can probably find lots of research about this online. It sucks. My mom has fallen several times in the last year and is moving less and less every time I see her.