Do you think I’m an alcoholic?

[Anonymous]

So for most of the days of 2023, I had exactly one drink every night: either a glass of wine or a hard cider. My husband told me as my new years resolution I should give up alcohol because he thought I was “becoming an alcoholic.” That startled me because it never occurred to me that one drink a day would be considered being an alcoholic, so I have not had any alcohol since January 1 to prove to him I don’t need it. I am going out with a girlfriend this week who I have not seen in months and I asked him if he thinks it would be OK for me to have a glass of wine or am I going back to my “alcoholism” kind of in jest honestly. He said he thinks I should continue dry January or he’ll continue to be concerned about my alcohol consumption.
I want to respect his concerns, and I also want to show him that I do not need alcohol in my life as I am not dependent on it. How would you respond to your husband in the situation? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I would prove him wrong and no drink.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like you're an alcoholic. There are so so many threads on here judging people who drink though, so beware, dozens of posters are about to descend on you telling you you are. Your husband has succumbed to the hysteria which was started, I promise you, by the cannabis industry. Have a drink with your friend, then finish off dry January and just curtail your nightly drink to a few nights a week instead of all of them. Then start picking on your husband for any habits he has. Because that's all you have here, a habit, that you enjoy.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s all the latest research and studies that have linked drinking alcohol to cancer that has him really scared. A good friend of ours just told us she has breast cancer, and She is a very heavy drinker, so he thinks eliminating alcohol is a very easy way to avoid adding carcinogens in your body. He's not wrong. However, a nightly routine of one drink to wind down and relax I don’t feel like is alcoholism. Maybe I’m wrong. That’s why I’m posting here. Thanks and hopefully everyone is kind to me.
-OP

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you’re an alcoholic and I think your husband is really weird for guilting you about having a glass of wine with friends when you are otherwise no drinking for the month.

FWIW, I barely drink — haven’t had a drink yet this year and really only do when we have certain dinners or if I am with friends/family who are drinking I might have some.

[Anonymous]

I drink too much, so I’d be happy if I could be okay with one drink a night. I don’t think you’re an alcoholic, and I would have a drink with your friend if I were you. It’s probably best to continue with dry January after that because it’s a healthy thing to do. But going out with your friends and having a drink is fine.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you are an alcoholic, but I also don't think alcohol abuse or dependence should be the line at which someone starts to re-evaluate their relationship with alcohol. I do think a "routine" of one drink a night to "wind down and relax" sounds like a less healthy choice than other routines. Are there other things you could do? Walk? Shower? Herbal tea with honey?

And what if you shifted you "routine" with alcohol to be that you drink on social or special occasions? So, yes, drink with your friend, or at the staff happy hour, and on Christmas and your birthday. But not on random weekdays.

[Anonymous]

You probably have to prove to your dh that you don't have to drink. Going out with your friend makes it hard, but you might warn her ahead of time that you're doing Dry January.

Something you might try is your drink every other night. Or just on certain nights.

I am guessing he doesn't drink or drink much. Not a great combination when you want to drink moderately.

DH and I drink to match each other's consumption. it's not great to be in a relationship with unequal drinking habits.

[Anonymous]

You're not an alcoholic.

But one drink a day is not good for your health. All the recent studies show that previous guidelines were way too lax. You're setting yourself up for cancer, cardiac issues, etc, down the line if you continue drinking every day.

Maybe shift to having a celebratory drink on weekends only?

[Anonymous]

You’re not an alcoholic, your husband is wrong, but also daily drinking isn’t a great habit. (Daily drinker who drinks slightly more than you, and is not an alcoholic but is not the paradigm of health and moderation and is / has reevaluated that for this year).

[Anonymous]

If your husband thinks you have a problem born, by definition you have a problem. You think too much about alcohol and depend on it to have a good time with your friend. You can’t stick to a promise about dry January.

[Anonymous]

You’re obviously not actually an alcoholic. but you do have an unhealthy habit and since alcohol is an addictive substance, alcohol abuse tends to get progressively worse over time so right now you’re having one drink per day but it could easily turn into 2+ drinks per day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would prove him wrong and no drink.

This

[Anonymous]

You’re not an alcoholic.
I should cut back myself but cutting back is different than attending AA meetings or becoming a teetotaler

[Anonymous]

Why have a drink on a random Monday night? I think having one every single day isn’t good for your health. Why don’t you limit it to Friday and Saturdays? 365 days a year (minus dry January) is a lot