Parent barraged me with texts during birthday party

Anonymous
We had a birthday party for our 7yo last weekend. We invited a neighbor, two kids even though only one is the birthday kid’s peer. This was extra money and extra effort but we knew it would be tough for them to attend unless both kids went, as the dad works weekends.

I was obviously busy right before and during the party, especially at the start. (Big venue.) So I missed a few texts that were asking for start time and directions (all clearly in the evite AND in the body text that had the link to the evite), and then the mom arrives late and is all flustered like why didn’t you answer my texts.

First off:
1) All details were in the evite, which I know you saw because it said you viewed it
2) All logistical details also in the body of the text that I sent you before I sent the evite link
3) You were texting me questions right at the start time of the party, I didn’t see because I was busy
4) In 2024, you don’t ask for driving directions. Ever. Ask Siri, as Google Maps, ask Waze, etc. Who asks the host for directions after party start time?
5) You’re welcome that we graciously invited and paid for a sibling even though that meant we couldn’t invite another peer

This mom has been miffed at me all week. I’m about to tell her to stuff it. She’s making passive agressive digs at me when we see each other at school, on a group chat, etc. I’m this close to blowing her up on the group chat. Who acts like this?!
Anonymous
Just say thank you for coming to the party, we are glad you could make it.

Take notes for the future.
Anonymous
Just tell her to call your phone in the future.
Anonymous
What would you be trying to accomplish? No one is going to throw you a Being Right Parade.

Just be polite, cheery, and ignore anything subtle. This isn’t your best friend and you don’t have to invite her to anything ever again. Don’t sweat it.
Anonymous
Sounds like she has anxiety.
It was really nice of you to invite both of their children.
Anonymous
What exactly has she said to you this week that is problematic?
Anonymous
Just realize you guys aren’t going to be friends. Be polite and that is it. No confrontation, no more invites — and life goes on.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Just realize you guys aren’t going to be friends. Be polite and that is it. No confrontation, no more invites — and life goes on.



+1 She sounds incredibly annoying, OP. Just move on.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Just tell her to call your phone in the future.


Um no you don’t blow up a host’s phone when they were busy with a party. All the other guests showed up, which means all logistics were clear and directions could be easily found.
Anonymous
Perhaps their invitation went to spam? Or only to one parent, who was not available? I agree asking for directions seems off.

But NO, you do not blow up at this clearly hyper-anxious parent. It's going to make things worse. The best response is to be very, very, calm. None of this warrants the level of anger you are exhibiting in this post! It's quite likely you have anxiety as well - in some people, it manifests as anger.

Next time, feel free not to invite this family.


Relax. It was a nice party, I'm sure. The guests were happy to be there.
Anonymous
Now you know what it's like to be a teacher!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Perhaps their invitation went to spam? Or only to one parent, who was not available? I agree asking for directions seems off.

But NO, you do not blow up at this clearly hyper-anxious parent. It's going to make things worse. The best response is to be very, very, calm. None of this warrants the level of anger you are exhibiting in this post! It's quite likely you have anxiety as well - in some people, it manifests as anger.

Next time, feel free not to invite this family.


Relax. It was a nice party, I'm sure. The guests were happy to be there.


OP said the invite showed as bring opened so prob not in spam. I think most evite platforms show when someone opens the evite. I suppose it's possible she deleted the evite but you'd think she would ask where the party was in advance of when the party started.
Anonymous
The issue isn’t the texts on the day of the party. That’s over and could easily be attributed to anxiety. The real issue is the supposed continued comments this week. OP hasn’t answered what exactly this parent has been saying/sniping about. Knowing that would make it easier to offer advice on how to respond.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Just tell her to call your phone in the future.


No! OP is hosting a party and greeting guests.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The issue isn’t the texts on the day of the party. That’s over and could easily be attributed to anxiety. The real issue is the supposed continued comments this week. OP hasn’t answered what exactly this parent has been saying/sniping about. Knowing that would make it easier to offer advice on how to respond.


Sounds like one is anxious and panicky/perseverating, the other is anxious and super touchy. Not a good match!
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