How soon after diagnosis with Dementia did your relative stop living alone?

[Anonymous]

Father has a new dementia diagnosis but memory is fading even with medication. How soon after the diagnosis did your relative stop living alone?

[Anonymous]

In my case my mom was exhibiting signs of cognitive decline and I started the process of moving her into assisted living after it was clear she couldn’t drive. We did have an interim period of 1.5 years in which she had household help during the day. By the time she was officially diagnosed she was considered moderate stage (4) Alzheimer’s. She is still in assisted living and does fine but she would not really be able to handle cooking shopping finances home maintenance etc.. lots of those things were slipping for a long time.!m now her only responsibility is getting dressed and going to meals. She has help bathing and gets medication given to her and someone cleans and does her laundry and I take her to all appointments shopping and finances (I hired someone in addition to assisted living to take her out to cvs, do her laundry etc).
For your dad you need to address safety and activities of daily life. Can he get by with someone helping during the day or is he no longer safe alone? I would definitely try to see what’s happening with bills finances etc because a lot of that is where my moms issues happened first and we didn’t know until it was too late in many cases (she stopped paying ltc insurance, lost a huge amount of money to unscrupulous scammers , her jewelry was stolen, she had loans taken out in her name and never said anything when the notices appears etc).

[Anonymous]

Diagnosed at age 71 while in assisted living. Dead at 73 from affects of dementia. In retrospect she had been in mental decline for a long time.

[Anonymous]

Earlier the better. They can adjust to the new surroundings better.

[Anonymous]

Depends if the spouse can care for them and is willing. Dad lived 5-7 years at home with my Mom. Mom doing all the thinking. They traveled, he golfed. Don't get hung up on "a diagnosis".

[Anonymous]

My mother has moderate dementia. She can’t remember to take her meds, won’t use her walker, and panics for no apparent reason. She now lives in an independent living apartment with a daily caregiver. My guess is that she has to move to assisted living in another year.

[Anonymous]

Depends how bad the dementia is at the time it's actually diagnosed. What really matters is their ability to live safety.

[Anonymous]

For my mom it was about a year. When we noticed she was losing weight (she was just eating cereal and fruit it turned out) and had an eviction notice (assured me she had no bank accounts when she had plenty to pay rent) she had to move. She knew she wasn't paying bills or cooking and went along with it. She improved for a few months (I assumed the improvement was less worry and eating properly and social engagement) and then declined. She lived about 3 years in assisted living facility before she passed in her 80s.

[Anonymous]

I would move him now. We waited and MIL left the stove on and it literally melted. There isn’t any warning when it goes from ok to unsafe, space sooner rather than later.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if we were lucky or unlucky, but my dad's dementia developed quickly. Or maybe he hid it really well until the delusions got the best of him. He had some sort of medical crisis and he went to the hospital. Was released to rehab and we were told he couldn't go home alone. So, he went directly to assisted living and then within a few weeks he was in memory care.

[Anonymous]

Dad was diagnosed at 90yo, dementia was obvious by 92 and that’s when we tried to get him household help but he refused. He got daily help at 94 and 24-hr care at 97yo. Ideally, he would have had 24-hour care between 92-94 but he refused and we didn’t have the power to force anything.

[Anonymous]

My mom has early dementia and I wouldn't want her living alone. Luckily she has my dad, who as another poster put it, has already started doing the "all the thinking" for their household. And I'm grateful they had recently moved to independent living. She just seems unsuited for the all the organizational work that she used to do.

[Anonymous]

Grandma was diagnosed after she'd moved to assisted living. She was showing signs earlier, but was resistant to testing and while her husband was alive, it was easier for him to help her and her deficits were less visible. She lived about three years after the diagnosis.

[Anonymous]

Don't press to get a "diagnosis" if it's going to cause great stress to your relationship with them. Or cause them a great deal of stress. It is what it is. There are no, currently, very useful meds. There's no magic solution ~ just say

[Anonymous]

~ just saying