"Gifts are optional"

[Anonymous]

Received a birthday invite for DC's classmate that says "gifts are optional." Aren't gifts always optional? There have been a lot of "no gift" parties in their class lately, so maybe they felt the need to make sure everyone know that theirs isn't? Would you bring a gift in this case? I'm guessing yes, I just haven't seen that wording before.

[Anonymous]

I would bring a gift if my kid had a good idea for what to get the person and not if they didn't.

[Anonymous]

I would take a gift yes. When I rsvped I would ask for gift suggestions to try and get something the kid likes.

[Anonymous]

Tacky but yes, bring a gift.

[Anonymous]

I've also seen "no gifts necessary" which I think is better phrasing but still awkward.

I wish there were a better way to say "it's really up to you if you want to bring a gift - if you know my kid well and are excited to bring something, great we welcome it. But no expectation that you need to."

[Anonymous]

Oof I HATE both of those. No gifts necessary means I'm still bringing a gift.

Write: No gifts.

[Anonymous]

“Gifts optional” just means “bring a gift.” They have to say it because no gifts has become the default. They couldn’t figure out a polite way or something that makes sense because there’s no polite way and it doesn’t make sense.

Honestly this is good, it’s part of the death throes of birthday party gifts.

[Anonymous]

No don't bring a gift as they gave you an out.

[Anonymous]

It means gifts are optional, take one or don't. The parents don't care. The kid, of course, would be happy to receive a gift.

[Anonymous]

Now THAT'S annoying. Either don't say a word about gifts or say "no gifts, please". Don't be wishy washy tacky.

[Anonymous]

Yes, they are always optional which is why you aren't really supposed to say No Gifts as it implies you expect them. No Gifts seems to be the norm now but Gifts Optional is definitely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've also seen "no gifts necessary" which I think is better phrasing but still awkward.

I wish there were a better way to say "it's really up to you if you want to bring a gift - if you know my kid well and are excited to bring something, great we welcome it. But no expectation that you need to."

"No gifts necessary" is absolutely awful. It's just as ambiguous as "Gifts optional" but it doesn't sound as rude. I wish people throwing the party would be straight forward while still following appropriate etiquette: either write "No gifts please" OR write nothing at all (which means bring a gift, although gift giving is always optional).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, they are always optional which is why you aren't really supposed to say No Gifts as it implies you expect them. No Gifts seems to be the norm now but Gifts Optional is definitely not.

It’s “no gifts please” and it’s helpful.

[Anonymous]

People are awful.

[Anonymous]

good lord.
the person saying this is tacky (clearly one person) is nuts. it may be a lot of things, but tacky is not one of them.
op - these ppl are just trying to give you a break. take the break.