When you've lived your whole life overweight

[Anonymous]

I grew up in an overweight family. My single parent was 300+ pounds for most of my childhood. I weighed 140 pounds in the 4th grade - as the parent of a currently 70 pound 4th grader, I just cannot believe that the path I was on at that age was so firmly set. (Don't worry, I completely blame myself, if it sounds like I am shirking any blame)

Anyway I was sick a few months ago and lost my appetite for a few weeks. I cannot get over what it was like to not live constantly thinking about food. Not planning my day around the next thing I will eat. Not constantly feeling guilty for what I wanted to eat or what I did eat or what I didn't eat. It is making me so sad to think of what life could have been like. And while I constantly blame myself for the position I am in (and all related consequences) I feel just sad for myself too. Sad for my 10 year old self, my 45 year old self and all of the years between.

I don't know why I am sharing here, but don't really have anyone in real life to share this with.

[Anonymous]

I understand. I grew up with a mother with an undiagnosed ED, and I battled an ED through my teens and 20s. The amount of time I have given over to thoughts about food, exercise, scales, measurements, etc is staggering and depressing, frankly. I feel like I could have gotten my masters in some useful subject with the amount of time I have devoted to my obsession with my diet/weight.
Release yourself if you can. Maybe this illness can help you reset. And be gentle with yourself. You are changing a generational pattern, that is not a flip of the switch.

[Anonymous]

I love when I'm sick and easily go 48 hours eating one snack pack of applesauce and an ice pop. I always vow to stick to eating just enough to quell hunger pangs, but never do. I have a voracious appetite and notice my inner monologue is always worried about my portions not being enough and my being hungry. Combine that with a sweet tooth, and I'm huge.

[Anonymous]

You are not alone, OP. I, too, am from an overweight family and can relate to what you wrote. And as my weight has continued to increase, I've spent an even greater amount of time fixated on it for the past few years (visiting doctors; meeting with therapists focused on weight loss/eating disorders; taking the new drugs; working in movement, tracking water intake, logging food, etc etc). Spoiler alert: my weight has not decreased, but I've wasted so much time, energy, and money.

[Anonymous]

Now you know why some people should not feel bad needing a doctors intervention to lose and maintain weight. This is something out of your control.

[Anonymous]

Go on semaglutide, it will change your world.

I can’t believe I was convinced I was somehow strong willed in every facet of my life but just weak in this one category. In all my years of yoyo dieting and self-loathing, no one ever said “you’re too hungry.”

And here comes this medication that is like a light switch. Suddenly I can plan and execute a healthy diet without having to retreat from life. I have enough energy for both. It’s incredible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go on semaglutide, it will change your world.

I can’t believe I was convinced I was somehow strong willed in every facet of my life but just weak in this one category. In all my years of yoyo dieting and self-loathing, no one ever said “you’re too hungry.”

And here comes this medication that is like a light switch. Suddenly I can plan and execute a healthy diet without having to retreat from life. I have enough energy for both. It’s incredible.

+1
It’s not your fault, OP. It’s your genes. (I have always been heavy, as is my older son; my two younger kids are not.)

Semaglutide opened my eyes and gave me that “willpower”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go on semaglutide, it will change your world.

I can’t believe I was convinced I was somehow strong willed in every facet of my life but just weak in this one category. In all my years of yoyo dieting and self-loathing, no one ever said “you’re too hungry.”

And here comes this medication that is like a light switch. Suddenly I can plan and execute a healthy diet without having to retreat from life. I have enough energy for both. It’s incredible.

+1000 to all of this!

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of it has to do with genetics. I always think about food and so does my husband. We eat a lot (in my mind at least) but I weigh 145 and my husband weighs 200.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP.

The whole weight and size thing is a mindf----. I grew up with a naturally slim mother who also had a slight build. I have breasts and hips and have always struggled to keep weight off, which she saw as a lack of discipline. I mean, it's easy to be "disciplined" when having a bowl of ice cream every night doesn't make a difference on the scale!

[Anonymous]

I can relate OP. I’ve always been a little heavier than normal (weight ranges from 145-155, although I was in the 160s in high school), and grew up with two parents with eating disorders.

When I got cancer in my 30s, and had associated wasting, I considered not treating it for a hot second because I loved my new “skinny” body (weight 132).

Of course I treated it, and gained the weight back as I got healthy, but that feeling of finally being slim after being chubby all my life was amazing.

[Anonymous]

OP, it’s not your fault.

A post-viral health condition led to me gaining 30 pounds in a year. My entire day was driven by my relentless appetite. I wasn’t eating “unhealthy” foods, either. What I did do was consume 1500+ calories at lunch of quinoa, roasted veg, and chicken and then felt famished 90 minutes later. I tried eating a high protein diet, a gluten-free diet, a gluten and dairy-free diet, and a low histamine diet, sticking to each religiously for six weeks or more. Of course, I cut out alcohol throughout. No matter what I tried, I kept steadily gaining weight. Oddly, it was while taking prednisone, a medication that usually causes people to gain weight, that my inflammation came down enough to facilitate weight loss. From all the ups and downs of the past five years, the only thing I’ve learned is that there is so much we don’t yet understand about gaining and losing weight. Certainly psychological and genetic factors play a role, but docs don’t seem to know fully how to address those issues. As well, there is biochemistry that changes for all of us due to medication, health conditions, and phases of life.

I have an obese friend who recently started taking Ozempic. I also have an obese family member in a clinical trial for an oral semaglutide. I’ve seen both of these folks try very, very hard to lose weight. They’ve been through normal and extreme weight loss methods—Weight Watchers, addiction programs, all-liquid diets, two-hour daily workouts, fen/phen. They’ve been deeply committed to losing the weight and consistent in their behaviors for years, but as soon as they lift the intervention, the weight comes back. They are not morally bad people and they are the opposite of lazy. All of that said, the drugs have made a difference in a way that nothing else has. Their hunger, ability to stop eating, and feelings about food have all changed so quickly. This again reinforces to me that there are not-fully-understood biological reasons for weight gain.

[Anonymous]

I agree with what everyone here has said about semiglutide. It has changed my life. I too have struggled my entire life with an insatiable appetite. For the first time in my life, I feel like this must be how "normal" people feel - able to get through the day without needing to eat in between meals and eating normal portions and feeling full.
I also agree that there may be modern day factors that are leading to more people having these appetite imbalances - chemicals in food and the environment, hormones in meat, dairy and our water supply, antibiotics everywhere, etc.

[Anonymous]

I think when something consumes your mind like a disability, preoccupation or addiction, it's a life altering change to not be consumed by those thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it’s not your fault.

A post-viral health condition led to me gaining 30 pounds in a year. My entire day was driven by my relentless appetite. I wasn’t eating “unhealthy” foods, either. What I did do was consume 1500+ calories at lunch of quinoa, roasted veg, and chicken and then felt famished 90 minutes later. I tried eating a high protein diet, a gluten-free diet, a gluten and dairy-free diet, and a low histamine diet, sticking to each religiously for six weeks or more. Of course, I cut out alcohol throughout. No matter what I tried, I kept steadily gaining weight. Oddly, it was while taking prednisone, a medication that usually causes people to gain weight, that my inflammation came down enough to facilitate weight loss. From all the ups and downs of the past five years, the only thing I’ve learned is that there is so much we don’t yet understand about gaining and losing weight. Certainly psychological and genetic factors play a role, but docs don’t seem to know fully how to address those issues. As well, there is biochemistry that changes for all of us due to medication, health conditions, and phases of life.

I have an obese friend who recently started taking Ozempic. I also have an obese family member in a clinical trial for an oral semaglutide. I’ve seen both of these folks try very, very hard to lose weight. They’ve been through normal and extreme weight loss methods—Weight Watchers, addiction programs, all-liquid diets, two-hour daily workouts, fen/phen. They’ve been deeply committed to losing the weight and consistent in their behaviors for years, but as soon as they lift the intervention, the weight comes back. They are not morally bad people and they are the opposite of lazy. All of that said, the drugs have made a difference in a way that nothing else has. Their hunger, ability to stop eating, and feelings about food have all changed so quickly. This again reinforces to me that there are not-fully-understood biological reasons for weight gain.

It is not OPs fault; agree.

It is the fault of the oppressors in society, who still engage in sizeism, ableism, and fat-phobia.

These are forms of oppression. No one should be made to feel shame, embarrassment, not any of the things oppressors do to victimize others in the US, based on size.