Has anyone’s parent cut them off/out of their life?

[Anonymous]

I don’t mean financially. I mean emotionally. As a child my mom would give me the silent treatment for days or sometimes weeks at a time. As an adult she’s taken it to the next level. It started with politics. She took me off her social media and refused to come to my house because she disagreed with my voting for Obama. Then we made some choices she didn’t like - for example we sent our children to public school. She’s gone basically NC/low contact with us although she tells other family members DH and I are estranged from her and she has no idea why. This is completely untrue and if I try to raise it she or other family members ignore me. FWIW DH and I are normal working people, we’re not on drugs, never ask them for anything and haven’t done anything wild or harmful. I feel crazy sometimes because I can’t explain to friends why my own mom doesn’t love me unless I do what she wants. I know a lot of kids chose to estrange from their parents but I feel like I never hear about parents cutting off their kids. Is anyone else in a similar boat?

[Anonymous]

Yes this happened to DH a few years ago and he has not spoken to his dad since then. They never had a good relationship and then had a falling out. It’s totally weird having to explain your way around it when it comes up in conversation with other people.

Do you think you will reconcile at some point? I have no idea if DH will. I think it just doesn’t really bother him all that much somehow.

[Anonymous]

My father did, while I was in college. In his telling I was the one in the wrong, although I would have welcomed a normal relationship with him. It just wasn’t worth the effort to him. He provided nothing to me while I was growing up, refused to come to my wedding, and ignored the existence of my children. He has some sort of personality disorder , I thing. He had a stroke a couple of years ago and is on a ventilator now; he is basically dying alone.

It is what it is, and is mostly his loss. I’ve moved on in my life without him.

[Anonymous]

That's normal in my family.

[Anonymous]

My crazy alcoholic narcissistic mom hasn't called me in years. She plays the game were she's only speaking terms with one sibling at a time, triangulation, pitting. Puts the golden child on a pedestal even though their an addict as well and the scape goat isn't. This nonsense is crazy I'm over it.

Spouses family same sickness don't call unless they need something. Didn't bother calling for Christmas or anything. Pretty messed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes this happened to DH a few years ago and he has not spoken to his dad since then. They never had a good relationship and then had a falling out. It’s totally weird having to explain your way around it when it comes up in conversation with other people.

Do you think you will reconcile at some point? I have no idea if DH will. I think it just doesn’t really bother him all that much somehow.

Same here. DH and his dad have always had a rocky relationship, but it went completely off the rails after MIL filed for divorce. By all accounts it was a miserable marriage and DH says they should’ve divorced much earlier. FIL relocated to a different area of the country and we visited him twice before he and DH had a huge blowout fight, which caused us to cut our visit short. That was five years ago and we have not visited since; FIL has gone pretty much no contact and DH has largely come around to acceptance. I don’t know if they will ever reconcile; I don’t think about it much honestly. FIL is a bitter and unpleasant person and I would rather not spend the money and hassle on visits. Its a shame he isn’t interested in his grandchildren, but it is what it is.