How to handle breakup with kid
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Anonymous
| Several months ago I started dating a man who’d I’d been friends with for a while. Because we were friends he’d met my son (8 years old) before and we’d do fun stuff together, holiday fun, etc. My son adores him. My son does not know our relationship ever turned romantic. I don’t want to continue dating, and I’m not sure if we will be able to go back to being friends. Anyone have advice on how to navigate this with my son? |
Anonymous
| I don't know but if I end up breaking up with my boyfriend I'll be in a similar boat. |
Anonymous
| This is a main reason not to introduce until you are talking marriage. |
Anonymous
Thanks for posting from decades ago. How helpful. -Not OP |
Anonymous
Absolutely. But nobody wants to hear that. Me me me. |
Anonymous
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I don’t know but I feel for your son.
As a parent your child needs to be your first priority. My mom dated someone we were introduced to (our dad died) and then he ended up leaving when she got cancer. It was devastating for us and I wish we never actually met him! It totally screwed my sister up with relationship, so if your son seems to have things he needs to discuss/ he is having a hard time maybe have him talk to someone. Luckily, later dating we never met her SOs (although she had a couple serious boyfriends) and she never remarried. Especially if you have a second parent to watch the children I don’t really understand the need to have your boyfriend/girlfriend meet your kids (if they are young) until you are talking move on or marriage. Nothing is a given so you could get divorced, but I think your son needs to be your #1 priority and loosing this person in his life will be hard for him. |
Anonymous
This was a friend first, and then they dated. Kind of hard to do that with a friend. My kids have grown up seeing all my male and female friends. I started dating one, then they disappeared, it would lead to questions. Stop being so stupid. |
Anonymous
Try reading before being an ahole. The kid knows him because he was a FRIEND and in OPs life before they started dating. Kid doesn't even know they are dating. |
Anonymous
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OP, Ignore the haters. I've been on DCUM for more than 10 years and any relationship that's not a married one is looked at with great disapproval here, on this supposedly liberal board. I married at 23, have been married for 20 years, and find this attitude repulsive. Say as little as possible, and when he starts noticing and asking questions, tell him he's busy doing other things. If you saw this particular friend more than anyone else, maybe you'll have to tell him you guys had a disagreement, and are seeing less of each other, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like your child. |
Anonymous
NP I was a single Mom recently and this was my very hard policy. OP has learned a hard lesson and needs to see her child upset so she doesn't do it again. |
Anonymous
| If he doesn't know about your romantic involvement, can you just not say anything? Friends do fade away. |
Anonymous
Not decades ago. I am a divorced mother and this is my position. For this exact reason. |
Anonymous
| DC know the friend is working a lot and will come when he can. DC is too busy on playing video games to care. |
Anonymous
OP here. he would definitely notice his absence and ask about seeing him. |
Anonymous
| Your eight year old doesn’t care about your boyfriend. Tell him he’s traveling to see family for a few weeks. Your kid will forget about him quickly. |