Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?

[Anonymous]

So I know this is kind of an odd post and a very first world problem. DC applied ED1 to a top 20 LAC and got in! Yeah! DC is thrilled and so are we. The ED1 school was DC's self-professed #1 choice all the way through the college process.

But... DC had a high reach school on their list too (where they were a legacy), and after submitting the ED1 app to the other school, DC had become increasingly interested in the high reach. The high reach had moved up to #2 and even maybe rivaled the #1 choice. Now that DC got into the ED1 school, they will never even submit their app to the high reach (it was nearly ready to go). DC told me the other day that a part of them wonders if they would have gotten into the high reach and now they will never know. I said, well would that have changed anything? You wouldn't have gone to high reach over ED right? DC's answer surprised me... for the first time they said maybe. (The high reach is one of those schools that basically no one turns down).

FWIW, I think the ED1 school is a much much better fit for DC than the legacy high reach, I just wasn't anticipating this slight regret at not taking their shot at the high reach. I really wish there wasn't so much pressure on ED so kids could apply RD everywhere and actually have choices.

Anyone else experience this?

[Anonymous]

Last year my nephew was in the same position. It is similar to buyers remorse. I doubt he would have gotten into his high reach he never applied to, but after he got his ED1 decision he kept focusing on the what if scenario.

[Anonymous]

I felt this way (a bit). DS never did. He absolutely loves his ED1 school and is thrilled to be there. Neither of us regretted not having to write 30+ additional essays. ED1 made his senior year absolutely wonderful.

[Anonymous]

ED is mentally tough for all. If you don’t get it, you feel you “wasted” your ED shot by aiming too high. If you do get it, you wonder if you should have aimed higher. I think your child will work through this and get excited again. But I also think their emotions are totally normal and justified.

[Anonymous]

I think this is somewhat natural for some kids/people. When you desperately want something for a long time and then get it, I think some people will ask themselves "is this what I really wanted?" That doesn't mean it isn't the right school for your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ED is mentally tough for all. If you don’t get it, you feel you “wasted” your ED shot by aiming too high. If you do get it, you wonder if you should have aimed higher. I think your child will work through this and get excited again. But I also think their emotions are totally normal and justified.

ED1 was perfect for us. DS is thrilled. Not “mentally tough” at all. Just the opposite.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s natural to wonder “what if.” Last year my DC got into clear first choice ED. It stood out as best overall fit even though DC was a strong candidate for schools some would rank as “better.” DC as a freshman loves it and could not imagine being anywhere else. But there was a brief period after getting in when DC wondered if could have gotten into bigger name or higher ranked school. I reminded DC why chose the school they did, which mostly resolved the wondering.

[Anonymous]

DH got into his high reach school over 20 years ago, paid off his student loans a decade ago, and still says that he regrets applying ED because of the debt.

I told him to let it go. What’s done is done. As long as your DC isn’t going into a lot of debt (or you aren’t) to afford this degree, let it go. They all have to decide eventually and 18 year olds are notoriously indecisive.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of kids are in your child's position if the ED school isn't a clear first choice (or if they change their thinking over the course of the admissions season).

[Anonymous]

Yes, I was the exact same 25 years ago. I think it’s human nature. The decision to ED is made in September/October and that is so early in a year that is so full of growth and change. I mean, they’re only 17. It’s very normal to second guess. I also wish ED was not as popular as it is (or as necessary as it often seems!)

[Anonymous]

Nope, no buyers' remorse and now that he's there and doing well and enjoying himself, I couldn't be more happy that he chose well. Assuming that just because you got into one school ED means you could have gotten into another school ED is foolish, especially with LACs that build a class or super rejective top 10 schools. Count your blessings and don't torture yourself.

[Anonymous]

Your kid probably wasn’t getting into the high reach and now doesn’t have to go through the rejection. It’s a win win.

[Anonymous]

Nope. DD had 3 possible ED choices— all smaller schools that took a large percentage of their class ED. All schools where she should a real shot in ED but RD would be very tough to pull (ie, one school was Bates).

She asked to be left alone to think. And a week later announced what her ED1 school was— and her ED2 school was if ED happened to be a rejection.

Here’s the key. She treated the ED decision the same way her sibling has treated RD by October senior year (really, by the time schools starte

d), DD had finished college visits, she had done a second visit at ED schools, ACT scores and recs locked in. ED1 and 2 supplemental essays down. And in her mind, the decision of where to ED had the same import as others kids decision about where to go, made at 11pm on 4/30. S

She was accepted to ED1 and never looked back. Loves the school and I’m so thankful she chose to ED the school she did— because I’m more of a realist. Several of kids who appeared to have a better academic record applied in RD and were flat out denied. Not even WL.

In DCUMland where ever applicant is perfect, DD was not. She was not going to “do better,” whatever that means— USNWR ranking? Name recognition? Good department?

She knew where she was by early November.
The waiting, wondering, declines, stress were over.

[Anonymous]

We know several kids that applied to WashU RD last year and were denied. Significantly lower stat student from the same school was admitted ED. One data point, but interesting nonetheless.

[Anonymous]

I know several kids like this.

I don't understand the "ED let us enjoy senior year". Really, all kids have to mostly finish all apps in case ED doesn't work out. At our HS, you sort of have to have them done by Dec 1. So I get that there may be a couple supplemental essays to do over xmas if you don't do ED (or if it doesn't work out), but otherwise, you're done either way.

Then you enjoy your senior year! The RD pool is exciting. You gets Yeses and Nos usually, but nearly always a few of each. For the first time, the power shifts to the kid. Colleges are courting you with lots of overnights and local events. You get to compare financial packages. It's great.

I've had kids do ED and RD and I prefer the RD experience