My dad is 66 and the covid years were hard on him. He lost a lot of confidence and his social life is non-existent. My mom still works full time and is very social, but she’s really his only contact.
I’m visiting for the holidays with husband and young children. We rarely visit because I emigrated to join my Australian husband. It’s been lovely to spend time with them but it’s so sad to see the change in him. He’s unsure of himself when driving, can’t follow instructions, keeps telling me and husband things we already know / stating the obvious. He has untreated anxiety/depression and also refuses to deal with his substantial hearing loss. At his age, is this something that might improve? It seems to be so young for dementia though clearly that’s a possibility. I’m trying to work on him to get him to accept a hearing aid, but I feel too overwhelmed to work on anything else. |
That kind of decline at his still young age seems unusual. I wouldn't pin this on Covid. Has he had a full medical exam anytime recently? |
Hearing loss will make cognitive decline worse.
I bought Eargos on line. They were easy to set up. I'm 62 and have worn the Eargos for two years. Working on the hearing aid is a good start. Drive him to some place in Australia that sells them and go in with him. |
If you are in the US Costco has the cheapest hearing aids. |
The OP lives is Australia. Her parents are local.
To the OP, can you take him to an audiologist while you are in town? |
You really need to make sure he gets and wears hearing aids. He is missing huge chunks of conversations and is at a much higher risk of dementia. I posted on another thread about taking my mom to get Phonak Lyric hearing aids that an audiologist inserts every 2-3 months and then swaps them out like disposable contact lenses. There is no recharging and they are invisible since they go in the ear canal by the ear drum. Only certain audiologist have been trained to insert them and over time they are more expensive because you pay a yearly fee. But the most important thing is they wear them. My mom got hearing aids from costco and she wouldn’t charge them every night, she said the were hard to put in and she was vain about wearing them as she didn’t want other people to see she was wearing them. |
He needs to be accompanied to the doctor and get a full check-up.
My father is 73 (significantly older) and is probably in the first stages of dementia, the onset of which was triggered by the pandemic lockdowns. He would have ended up like this anyway, given both his parents had dementia for many years… but the exact timing in his case is linked to the pandemic. He exhibits memory issues, anxiety and OCD, doesn’t want to try anything new, gets agitated when anxious, has slowed down significantly and has decreased executive function. Can your father try anxiety meds? I hope my father will finally agree to try them before too long. |
I have given my mother a good local audiologist’s name and contact info. She is his medical POA if he needs one.
He hasn’t gone and still isn’t using any hearing aid. He can’t follow conversations at meals and gets confused easily. I have no idea how she lives with this every day with no outside help, even just a hearing aid for him. Or why. |
Part of the decline is refusing to accept help, OP. There is only so much your mother can do - she's probably declining too, and it must be exhausting for her to carry the burden of reminding and persuading him.
If your father listens more to you than to anyone else, you should come here for a few weeks, get medical appointments sorted ahead ahead of time, and accompany him yourself, with your mother. That way you'll show both of them that it's not so scary to go to the audiologist, PCP, do bloodwork, etc. |
You get a 30 day trial with the eargos which you order on line. The hearing test is through the cell phone. I have found the support to be awesome. An audiologist works with you on the phone. They go in the ear canal.
While you are in town can you make the appointment with the audiologist? Usually you can get in in a couple of days or next day. Then maybe you can take Dad and Mom with you. |
I relate to your dad. My husband has a lot of orthopedic issues but works from home, is productive and happy.
I see my life diminished due to covid, have no real life conversations except with spouse, feel my Self slipping away. I overeat. Your dad suffers from isolation and no hope of expanded life boundaries. |