Look, I understand that adult children will have to financially support their parents eventually, but...

[Anonymous]

I just don't understand why it has to happen before the adult child is 35. What's the rush?

[Anonymous]

No, many adult children to not have to financially support their parents, ever.

[Anonymous]

pp again. sympathy to you though for this struggle. That would be very hard.

[Anonymous]

Disagree. I don't think adult children should ever have to financially support their parents. I have lots of relatives who live comfortable lives off of social security (in a cheaper COL area). You have a very long time to plan for retirement and old age.

[Anonymous]

Oh, it's you again. You're so tiresome. If you love your parents and they were poor all their lives or have been diagnosed with some expensive disease, or are in some way deserving of help, YES, you should help them with food, shelter and medical care, and if you can afford more, a little luxury every now and then.

If you're talking about entitled parents who want cruises from you, or other extravagant stuff then NO, you should not feel obligated at all.

Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, many adult children to not have to financially support their parents, ever.

+1. No most kids do not support their parents. Mine are 80+ and could live to 100+ without a dime from me. And we were not rich growing up-they were teachers but saved well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't understand why it has to happen before the adult child is 35. What's the rush?

Not in this country. Unless you are Indian.

[Anonymous]

Sigh, I'm sorry OP. My father was terrible with money. Not in terms of spending, but just didn't understand how to save and despite my mom's efforts, she's left with very little for retirement, in a large part because they also spent a ton on my sister's SN over the years, which meant constantly dipping into savings. I hope she lives for decades longer, and if that means she needs financial support at the end, then so be it. It's frustrating because the boomers had the best economy for growing wealth, and she could be in such a better position now if he/they were savvier. I'm starting to have a lot more hard conversations with her about how she needs to stop being so generous because she needs a cushion in addition to her retirement and SS (particularly because she'll likely end up in the DMV with us, so her money won't go as far).

But barring unexpected medical or other issues, it seems irresponsible for your parents to need financial support from their young adults. That's when you should be focusing on establishing yourself and they should still be working. What are the circumstances that led to them needing financial support so young, OP?

[Anonymous]

I hate a flawed premise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sigh, I'm sorry OP. My father was terrible with money. Not in terms of spending, but just didn't understand how to save and despite my mom's efforts, she's left with very little for retirement, in a large part because they also spent a ton on my sister's SN over the years, which meant constantly dipping into savings. I hope she lives for decades longer, and if that means she needs financial support at the end, then so be it. It's frustrating because the boomers had the best economy for growing wealth, and she could be in such a better position now if he/they were savvier. I'm starting to have a lot more hard conversations with her about how she needs to stop being so generous because she needs a cushion in addition to her retirement and SS (particularly because she'll likely end up in the DMV with us, so her money won't go as far).

But barring unexpected medical or other issues, it seems irresponsible for your parents to need financial support from their young adults. That's when you should be focusing on establishing yourself and they should still be working. What are the circumstances that led to them needing financial support so young, OP?

This has nothing to do with me. I just don't like the idea of my peers financially supporting their parents, but not me.

[Anonymous]

This seems particular to your family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't understand why it has to happen before the adult child is 35. What's the rush?

Well, if I am going to make my kids support me...why wait until I am old? Might as well hit them up for luxury European vacations and other luxuries why I am still young enough to enjoy it.

Alas, if my kid becomes a centa-millionaire+...well, I might hope they will bestow some generosity.

[Anonymous]

Oh it's you with the anxiety disorder again. Really, just stop comparing yourself to others. That's all there is to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh, I'm sorry OP. My father was terrible with money. Not in terms of spending, but just didn't understand how to save and despite my mom's efforts, she's left with very little for retirement, in a large part because they also spent a ton on my sister's SN over the years, which meant constantly dipping into savings. I hope she lives for decades longer, and if that means she needs financial support at the end, then so be it. It's frustrating because the boomers had the best economy for growing wealth, and she could be in such a better position now if he/they were savvier. I'm starting to have a lot more hard conversations with her about how she needs to stop being so generous because she needs a cushion in addition to her retirement and SS (particularly because she'll likely end up in the DMV with us, so her money won't go as far).

But barring unexpected medical or other issues, it seems irresponsible for your parents to need financial support from their young adults. That's when you should be focusing on establishing yourself and they should still be working. What are the circumstances that led to them needing financial support so young, OP?

This has nothing to do with me. I just don't like the idea of my peers financially supporting their parents, but not me.

In that case, mind your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't understand why it has to happen before the adult child is 35. What's the rush?

I don't know. We've done it all for them from private education to cars and whatnot but expect nothing. Although, we also fully supported our parents after turning 25 so not much left for us. However, both were our choices, weren't forced to do either and would do it again.