Being “corrected”

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure how to feel about my boss. I have been working for her for a year. When I started she would often stop me from asking questions during meetings or expressing my opinions. It was always upsetting to me, but I explained to myself that I’m new and other people may already have this information I’m asking about, so she doesn’t want to waste other people time. After that I basically stopped talking if nobody asks me. I don’t work directly for her often, but I would hear her say nice things about my work and recently she wanted me to work for her directly.
We were in a social situation a few weeks ago, it was a party for our coworker. I’m talkative and outgoing and this is my personality. I was telling some stories and at some point she basically told me to stop talking, because we came here to talk about something else. I never experience anything like before that and usually when people want to change topic, they just do it. I have never experienced people talking this way to me. I’m really upset about it. Im not sure what kind of advice I’m looking for here. I guess she finds me annoying, but even if she does, does it justify her behavior?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry she hurt your feelings, I would be hurt in that situation too.

It's impossible for us to tell if she's rude or you're missing signals. Either way it doesn't seem like a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Without further information, what she said at the party was rude. Were you in front of some VIP from the company or something?

[Anonymous]

What exactly was the party for? Where was the party ? What were you talking about? What exactly did she say to you?

[Anonymous]

I think unless you were talking about yeast infections or toe fungus or Hamas or something else either gross or controversial, she's weird and you should socialize away from her at future parties.

[Anonymous]

OP here.
I may be missing signals. I don’t know. I act the same way with most people, so even more it makes me feel so weird.
There were four other coworkers. We are all very comfortable with each other. We had a lunch for one of them.

[Anonymous]

How old are you, op?

[Anonymous]

50

[Anonymous]

You are very different people.

You can chat about any topic, without necessarily having a goal for the conversation.

She is very goal oriented, she has her eye on an end game & that is all that matters.

Neither of you are wrong - you both have valid methods, no judgement on either of you - but you are very different.

Just give her a little grace & be patient. You didn’t do anything wrong - but you can also hear her out on what might have been another approach/option. Just take it as a nice learning opportunity to see what other people think who are very different from you.

[Anonymous]

I worked for someone like this-I left the company. You are a grown adult and should be treated as such.

[Anonymous]

Often times a meeting is not the place to ask questions or, especially if you're newer, offer opinions. You wait for a more private opportunity. But your post doesn't have enough info to determine whether it's a you problem or a her problem.

[Anonymous]

Boss is a jerk.

[Anonymous]

You simply can not dominate in any way. That's the message.

[Anonymous]

She's insecure and lashing out.

[Anonymous]

How did she get her job as boss?
Subject matter expert promoted? Nepotism?
Sounds like someone who is a bad manager.