How do you meet new friends in your 40s?

[Anonymous]

When everyone is still leading busy lives? We recently moved and I’m settled in now but still struggling to find friendships.

Before we moved, the majority of my “new” friends were the parents of my son’s friends. Now he’s a teen and mostly handles his own relationships.

I have coworkers, but none I would be interested in being friends with outside of work.

I have some women I talk to at the gym, but it’s very superficial and none have been interested in anything more.

I don’t really have time for other hobbies with work, my son, and the gym (which is my favorite “hobby” and way to decompress.)

Is it just normal to not have a lot of close friends until you’re retirement aged? If you met new friends in your 40s, how and where?

[Anonymous]

I have met friends or at least people I really like at

Church
Community ceramics class
HOA meetings
Dance class

Maybe you could join some group related to exercise, like a running club or something.

[Anonymous]

Dance seems to be a popular place to meet people. I am a single divorced dad 45 and a friend kid mine suggested taking salsa classes to meet ladies. But I am so shy and have zero rhythm and can’t follow dance directions at all lol. So I have not taken up in his offer yet but I may be forced too as the Apps are full of women who just want to hook up.

Sorry if I am a bit of subject but yes dance classes could be an option for you to make new friends.

[Anonymous]

Meetup

[Anonymous]

Take a class or do an activity like pickleball

[Anonymous]

I’ve had good luck with neighbors, but it can take awhile. Once I’ve chatted with someone several times, I will ask to exchange numbers, then eventually invite them over.

[Anonymous]

Agree with taking a dance or exercise class, or joining a church.

Also just remember that people in their 40s are different than younger people, might have a lot less time and be less "fun" overall because they have more responsibility, are tired, and have limited free time.

[Anonymous]

When I moved in my 40s I joined the newcomers club and the towns women’s club.Newcomers was very social and fun and the women’s club was very volunteer focused. Within six months I made a bunch of new friends. It was helpful that I am very outgoing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dance seems to be a popular place to meet people. I am a single divorced dad 45 and a friend kid mine suggested taking salsa classes to meet ladies. But I am so shy and have zero rhythm and can’t follow dance directions at all lol. So I have not taken up in his offer yet but I may be forced too as the Apps are full of women who just want to hook up.

Sorry if I am a bit of subject but yes dance classes could be an option for you to make new friends.

Do you know what’s worse than dancing with a man with no rhythm? Having no one to dance with because women outnumber men in these classes by far. Don’t be shy! Males/leads are a hot commodity and you will get better with practice. No one starts out great at social dance!

[Anonymous]

Airport Parties are generally pretty good. YMMV

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Airport Parties are generally pretty good. YMMV

What on earth is an airport party?

[Anonymous]

Bumble bff. But if takes a lot of work and consistency, you definitely meet flakes. But if you feel you don't have time for hobbies, it will be probably tough to maintain friendships. I feel this method works if you are willing to plan and meet and stay in touch and have things in common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Airport Parties are generally pretty good. YMMV

What on earth is an airport party?

Airport Parties are pretty dorky but some people swear by them. It's all word of mouth and not promoted online. APers always say "screens are mean." They gather around the departures board until enough APers show up, carrying tons of (empty) luggage. Then the group goes around the airport (ticketing areas, etc) saying "Excuse us, can you pwwwwease tell us where gate so-and-so is?" and when people say what? They say "Nevvvver mind! but thannnnk you!!!" and run away with a lot of them fake crying and saying "boo-hoo", etc. Then they go to some other area and do the same. It goes on for a couple of hours. They try to do something with the airport's name. At Dulles it was "Hey-ro is this Dulles?" and the person says yes, they say "Dull? Us? Never!!" and run away, blowing whistles and noisemakers. It's apparently a big matchmaker.

[Anonymous]

Interest groups is the best way. You need to have real hobbies. There are so many groups and communities these days compared to before, very easy to meet people. YOU just have to put in the effort to be sociable versus expecting others to be sociable to you (which is often an issue with people who say they can't find friends).

[Anonymous]

😳

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Airport Parties are generally pretty good. YMMV

What on earth is an airport party?

Airport Parties are pretty dorky but some people swear by them. It's all word of mouth and not promoted online. APers always say "screens are mean." They gather around the departures board until enough APers show up, carrying tons of (empty) luggage. Then the group goes around the airport (ticketing areas, etc) saying "Excuse us, can you pwwwwease tell us where gate so-and-so is?" and when people say what? They say "Nevvvver mind! but thannnnk you!!!" and run away with a lot of them fake crying and saying "boo-hoo", etc. Then they go to some other area and do the same. It goes on for a couple of hours. They try to do something with the airport's name. At Dulles it was "Hey-ro is this Dulles?" and the person says yes, they say "Dull? Us? Never!!" and run away, blowing whistles and noisemakers. It's apparently a big matchmaker.