Limiting the electronics

[Anonymous]

I have two kids, 13 and 14, and after years of successfully limiting electronics, I feel like we’ve fallen off the deep end. Both do well at school, have friends, happily do chores when asked, and have 2 hrs of physically activity most afternoons - but pretty much all other time is spent watching tv, you tube, or playing video games. One will at least play online with friends. The other mostly binge watches series. When they were younger they’d run around the neighborhood with other kids but now all the other kids also seem to be inside. Part of me feels like they are doing fine and we should just let them be (and admittedly, I’m exhausted by my job and sick parents at the end of the day so have been lax and DH doesn’t think it’s a problem). Part of me though thinks they’re missing out - on being bored, on reading books, on finding hobbies. Neither is artistic, but they will cook, could play with the dog, could write stories, scheme ways to make money, get together with friends. I know the answer is probably just to enforce some more rules, but curious what others do. In a couple years when jobs and homework are more of a thing I’m guessing this will be less of an issue, but it feels like a big one now.

[Anonymous]

Just add parent controls, app limits and downtime. It’s not that hard.

[Anonymous]

Let them be. If they are getting two hours of physical exercise each day, doing what they need to go and getting off without issue I don’t see the issue. This isn’t the “screen time”’of elementary school. It’s how they socialize.

[Anonymous]

Kids grow up. Your an adult, do you run around and play outside with your friends?

They seem to have great habits ans a solid base for electronic use. You've done well now let it be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids grow up. Your an adult, do you run around and play outside with your friends?

They seem to have great habits ans a solid base for electronic use. You've done well now let it be.

Yes, my friends and I are active. I would find it weird if I hot together with them and all we did was stare at our phones the whole time, like I see teens doing.

[Anonymous]

*got

[Anonymous]

I think it is an issue for our kids, OP. I would sit down and talk with them and brainstorm ideas for getting them to pay attention to and limit their screen usage. Show them how to check their digital well-being app and monitor their daily time. Ask them what they think would be a fair goal/limit. Under 3 hours per day, perhaps?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is an issue for our kids, OP. I would sit down and talk with them and brainstorm ideas for getting them to pay attention to and limit their screen usage. Show them how to check their digital well-being app and monitor their daily time. Ask them what they think would be a fair goal/limit. Under 3 hours per day, perhaps?

What is the digital well-being app and what are some good parental controls?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids grow up. Your an adult, do you run around and play outside with your friends?

They seem to have great habits ans a solid base for electronic use. You've done well now let it be.

Not the poster that you were responding to, but no I don't run around with my friends and play, but i sure still did at 13 and even 14. It's not crazy to suggest that kids act like kids, even at this age, which isn't that old. Yes, they'll grow out of it eventually, but why rush it? I'm active as an adult, but if I has the chance to play again I'd take it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let them be. If they are getting two hours of physical exercise each day, doing what they need to go and getting off without issue I don’t see the issue. This isn’t the “screen time”’of elementary school. It’s how they socialize.

I (parent of a 20 and 16 yr old) agree with this. It's just how it is, much as my boomer parents complained that TV was rotting our brains out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is an issue for our kids, OP. I would sit down and talk with them and brainstorm ideas for getting them to pay attention to and limit their screen usage. Show them how to check their digital well-being app and monitor their daily time. Ask them what they think would be a fair goal/limit. Under 3 hours per day, perhaps?

What is the digital well-being app and what are some good parental controls?

On our Samsung phones, there is an app called "digital well-being" that shows your usage. For example, my kids' phone yesterday had 30 min of youtube, 45 min of google, 10 min of texting, and 15 min of snapchat. His goal is to keep his usage under 2 hours per day.

We do not use any parental controls, but we have always had general "screentime" limits since he got his phone at age 13. He is now 16. If I see his usage is high for the week, we talk about using it less for the following week. We have had many conversations about how the phone can be bad for health, and I think he has bought into that. We are a very active, healthy, sporty family so that helps limit everyone's usage. I also try to limit my phone usage to under 1.5 hours per day, and he is welcome to check up on me too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids grow up. Your an adult, do you run around and play outside with your friends?

They seem to have great habits ans a solid base for electronic use. You've done well now let it be.

It's not like op is suggesting the kids do hard manual labor. Op is suggesting they go outside, run around and be kids. What's so bad about that? It's good for them. And 13 and 14 is not to old. There are many articles saying play for middle schoolers too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids grow up. Your an adult, do you run around and play outside with your friends?

They seem to have great habits ans a solid base for electronic use. You've done well now let it be.

We don't run around and play with our friends because we're adults and we can't. Adults are too busy with adult stuff of else we would. Kids should run around and play with their friends as long as they can before they can't anymore.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that electronics and screens are the devil or anything, but ppl keep saying this is how kids socialize today. That's fine for certain times and situations, but why are so many parents ok with it being their kids primary form of socialization?? No, adults don't go out and play because we're adults and can't, but we aren't talking about adults, we're talking about kids.