What's a typical weekday evening like for you and your spouse?
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Anonymous
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DH spends most of his free time in the basement in front of the computer, and I'm wondering how common that is. We'll team up or divide and conquer when it comes to the kids or dinner, but otherwise, it's back down to the basement for him.
Sometimes, we watch a TV show or discuss something together upstairs, but he's in front of his computer both before and after. In fact, I often text or instant message him when we're both home. I'm not trekking up and down the stairs every time to mention a small thing. |
Anonymous
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Our kids are 3 and 5 and go to bed at 7-7:30pm so our evenings flow like this:
-We sit down at the table with the kids while they eat dinner at 5pm. -5:30-7pm play time, baths, kids in pjs -7-7:30pm put kids to bed -7:30pm Dh and I eat dinner together then he does the dishes while I take the dog out. -8:30-10pm we are either watching a show together, playing a board game, having a cup of tea on the porch, or doing some sort of project. -We go to bed together at 10pm |
Anonymous
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We don't have kids so our situation is different - but usually we both stop working around 6 or 6:30 (we work from home).
My husband will cook dinner while I get some exercise. Then we eat in front of the tv and hang out/watch tv/read/mess around on phones for a couple of hours together. Sometimes one of us has evening plans without the other - or we go out together. Or one or the other of us works late. But we don't spend evenings in separate parts of the house, when we are both home, unless we're working. I think I would be pretty annoyed if my spouse was playing video games by himself in the basement for hours after work - but I really enjoy those after work hours we get together, just chilling and hanging out. |
Anonymous
| We're DINKs but spend our evenings together. Usually watching a show, or just on the couch together while doing separate things. |
Anonymous
| I finish work at 2:30/3 and my husband finishes at 4: if it’s not too cold we’ll go for a walk with our kids before we start dinner (usually I cook). Dinner, bath, book, bed for kids (whoever doesn’t do bedtime cleans up), and then usually just sit around haha. Our days are pretty busy! |
Anonymous
What time do you two start work? That's amazing you are done that early in the day. |
Anonymous
Same as you (3 kids 6 and under). Tag team from about 6-730 and then go our own ways |
Anonymous
| OP that sucks. I get that people need a recharge after work and want to have fun but I'd be sad if my husband didn't seem interested in just chilling with me. Does he at least spend some time with the kids? Not structured time like your 20 minutes of reading or brushing teeth, but just playing? |
Anonymous
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Our kids are in college. However, our routine has not changed to dramatically on a typical weekday evening. My husband and I are hybrid workers so each week some days we work from home and others in the office. But when we work from home, we work out during lunch and our evenings are spent separately watching our different TV shows. We talk to each other throughout the day when we get coffee or something really interesting happens at work and we chitchat with each other. I guess we became each other's water cooler companions. But at night, we usually separate and hole up in our own little corners because we are interested in different TV series. Every once while we find a TV series that we both enjoy and then we will watch maybe an hour of it, and then go to our own shows.
On days that we don't see each other because one or both of us have gone into the office, we will usually sit and have a glass of wine together and talk about our days for about an hour or so, and then we will separate to watch our TV shows. my husband goes to bed by 830 I go to bed by 10:30. |
Anonymous
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Our kids are teen, middle school and elementary. Typical weekday evening is either a sports tournament with one of us at a hotel or team dinner, waiting up to pick up a teen from a social event (can’t drive yet) or watching a movie/grabbing dinner out together with 1-2 of the kids.
If somehow all the kids are home, they entertain each other after dinner while we unwind together with Netflix and a scotch. So basically it’s kid directed still at this point, which is fine with us. |
Anonymous
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How common it is doesn't matter. What matters is if you're ok with it. If you both are, because you both need the alone time, then fine.
If you aren't ok with it, whether common or not, you need to do more than text him from upstairs to say that you want to watch a show, exercise, play a game, cook or whatever together sometimes. Then pick a couple nights a week. Or if your husband needs to finish up work every night because let's say he leaves his office early to pick the kids up from school and start dinner, then can you do your own thing but in the same room as him? Read, watch a show on your ipad with earbuds, do a crossword puzzle, e.g. |
Anonymous
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One kid, 7 year old DD. Our evening depends a lot on whether she has an activity that night, but typically it looks
4:00-7:00: Either aftercare/hanging out at home or activities, followed by dinner (I make dinner on nights with no activities, my wife makes it on nights with them) 7:00 DD bath 7:30: Storytime 8:00: Kid goes to play/read/whatever in her room for a bit, we watch an episode of a TV show 9:00: Lights out for kid, we play a board game together 10:00: We go to bed. We sleep separately, so I might stay up and dick around on the computer from 10-11. |
Anonymous
| No kids. We would go out to dinner a lot, or have dinner together. Then my husband would (he died, not divorced) spend the rest of his evening in his "office" studying for computer certification courses, or programming, or listing to music I don't like. I would be in living room watching TV. He would half listen and come in if something interested him. We had some shows we would watch together. We went to bed whenever we each got tired--not together. We were pretty independent. |
Anonymous
New poster but we have the same set up. I work 7am-3pm (thought I usually duck out at 2:45) then do school pick ups and DH does morning drop offs and then works 8:30am-4:30pm. |
Anonymous
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My spouse works 4-midnight so it’s usually me solo parenting our 11yo
On the nights we are together we usually do something as a family like watch a movie or play cards. Then I read to DD. Spouse and I will go in the hot tub together while DD reads in bed. I’m usually in bed reading after that and spouse watches TV alone. I work early and she works late so have very opposite bedtimes. |