Surprised at the birthday party invites we are getting

Anonymous
DD has been invited to several parties this year and it appears that the rule of inviting the entire class is no longer in play. There are several first grade classes at our school and it appears that the norm is now to just invite the kids you are friends with. Did I miss something?
Anonymous
My kid is in 1st grade and has not received any invites this year, so this does seem to be the way it goes.
Anonymous
That's never been the "rule" in my school. Whole class parties ended in preschool or K at the latest. Most people cannot/do not want to have a party for 20+ kids every year.
Anonymous
Our school doesn’t allow invites at school, so there’s no way to police who gets invited. We’re also a title 1 school, so it’s ridiculous to mandate the whole class be invited. It’s too expensive

We ask dd who she wants to invite and I try not to leave kids out. But if we haven’t been invited on play dates or met up out of school, we normally don’t invite.
Anonymous
Where we live and kids go to school few students have large enough homes to host a whole class or parents willing or able to spend what it costs to pay for a whole class at bounce place or wherever. Since daycare days most families have stuck to inviting less than half the class as the reasonable guideline if not inviting everyone.
Anonymous
We stopped inviting the whole class in K. I have daughter's and they have mostly girl friends. Up until 3rd, we did all the girls in the class plus whatever boys they wanted (as long as it wasnt the majority of the class excluding a few.) With class sizes these day, whole class parties are too hard.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:DD has been invited to several parties this year and it appears that the rule of inviting the entire class is no longer in play. There are several first grade classes at our school and it appears that the norm is now to just invite the kids you are friends with. Did I miss something?


Because the kids have friends and cousins and family outside of the class. My kids K class is 25 people. And people dont RSVP anymore so if we include friends from soccer, our neighborhood, preK friends we still have playdates with, etc it would be 40 kids. Now, not all 40 would attend but since people dont RSVP you have to keep it open and pay for all of those potential kids. Try finding a location that even allows 40 kids. And people expect pizza and juice and cupcakes and food for adults- to be available but lord knows only 30% of the moms that come to the parties will actually eat a slice of pizza and cake in front of others.

Furthermore, we will send something in to celebrate his birthday in class like donuts.

Anonymous
Our circles never did whole class parties but my SIL in MD says it’s very common where she lives. I’m so glad we never felt pressure host 25 kids!
Anonymous
This was a never a rule in my life. I only had a couple birthday parties as a kid, but I didn't go to any for kids who weren't my friends either.

Our DD has a summer birthday, so we've never considered it, but I'm not sure how you would. I don't know who is in the class or how to contact their parents to extend an invitation. The times I've reached out to kids whose parents I don't already know it's usually been a failure, anyway, so parties are usually kids from Girl Scouts and a few other friends from outside of school.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I’m obsessed with inviting everyone


Me too. Why exclude? We are in NYC and I don't care what we have to cut back on because of the expense, we invite the whole class. Period.
Anonymous
I loved inviting all the class until 1st grade. It is a great way to meet the other parents as well. They were always welcome to stay and we would have it somewhere like a bounce house and then pizza after.

Other than birthday parties, difficult to make connections with your kids school friends and their families. And I like to invite all to be inclusive. Kids talk, especially at that age- for example, my kid learned about so many parties during "sharing time".
Anonymous
We've had 4-5 invites to all class parties in 1st but attendance varies wildly from almost 100% to less than 50%. We are hosting all class soon and have a 50% response rate, so I think next year we will do specific friends instead. I think people are picking to attend parties based on who they like/know well now.
Anonymous
I only do full class parties in kindergarten. After that I let my kids choose who they want to celebrate with.
Anonymous
By first grade I only invited the kids that my kid wanted to invite. I wouldn't invite the whole class unless it was at a venue place but even then it can get unmanageable with 25 kids.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I’m obsessed with inviting everyone


You're... obsessed? Why?
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