Should a deadbeat dad be invited to a college graduation?

Anonymous
He was a deadbeat dad who dodged child support ages 0-19. Didn’t pay for a dime of my son’s college. He is currently married to a widow he mooches from and is allegedly finally gainfully employed because I get random amounts of money in my checking account (garnished wages from the old child support).

Should he be invited to my son’s college graduation in the spring?
Anonymous
Not your decision Jesus your adult son makes the decision not you!

Anonymous
Your son gets to decide this
Anonymous
regretfully, yes.
Anonymous
Only your child can decide.

Would you approve of your mother policing the relationship you have with your father?
Anonymous
This is about your son, not you. Your son decides and you support the decision he makes.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:This is about your son, not you. Your son decides and you support the decision he makes.


The only reason that young man is in college is because of my (and my husband’s) parenting and our labor.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Your son gets to decide this


My son gets to decide without my input? I paid for the college. Are you saying I ought to bite my tongue if my son mentions inviting his father or voice my issue? My son is a pushover and his father will take advantage. Because his father wants to play pretend with his wife, who has zero idea what a POS he is.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:regretfully, yes.


If you are in my shoes, you’d say nothing? No veto power?
Anonymous
"Because his father wants to play pretend with his wife, who has zero idea what a POS he is."

Why is this any of YOUR business? Why are you concerned about your ex husband's wife?

Maybe people say the same thing about your spouse - he's been playing "pretend" father all these years and your son's biological father (deadbeat or not) has been minimized.
Anonymous
Looks like someone is starting threads just to provoke a fight.
Anonymous
That is entirely up to your son. Who is a grown man at this point and can make this decision himself.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your son gets to decide this


My son gets to decide without my input? I paid for the college. Are you saying I ought to bite my tongue if my son mentions inviting his father or voice my issue? My son is a pushover and his father will take advantage. Because his father wants to play pretend with his wife, who has zero idea what a POS he is.


He may be a POS but he is the child's father, not your husband. Yes, son gets to decide but he will probably decide no because you are against it which is probably why they don't have much of a relationship.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your son gets to decide this


My son gets to decide without my input? I paid for the college. Are you saying I ought to bite my tongue if my son mentions inviting his father or voice my issue? My son is a pushover and his father will take advantage. Because his father wants to play pretend with his wife, who has zero idea what a POS he is.


You are clearly a bitter, bitter woman. You should get some therapy. Seriously -- it could help a lot.

You son's father is his father, whether you like it now or not (and you had some say in that, you know). So yes, for the good of your son, bite your tongue and let him figure out his own relationships. At this point, their relationship is theirs, and has nothing to do with you.
Anonymous
No. You paid for the college, you get to decide to not call the deadbeat dad.
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