Parent advice...

[Anonymous]

For those of you who have been through the high school years, looking back do you have any regrets about decisions you made? Do you have any advice to give to the parents of the upcoming freshman class?

[Anonymous]

Do not hover over your child. S/he must develop time management and self-advocacy skills before leaving the nest.
Make suggestions, sure, but it's up to your kid to take them or not. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way, and, believe
me, it's better to learn now than later.

Don't make it all about college. And, if you must talk about college, don't just talk Ivies. Point out at every opportunity people, whether of your own acquaintance or in the news, who've been successful despite the fact that they didn't attend Harvard, Yale or Princeton. Surely you know some of these folks.

Try to let some of that sass roll off your back. If it's gotten to the point that you can't take it, though, tell your child honestly that you feel hurt or dissed. Then move on.

Try to have fun with your teen. Find something you like to do together -- whether it's skiing, cooking, watching "Friday Night Lights" or whatever. It's easier to talk when you're just hanging out.

Talk to other parents and read "Zits" (comic strip in WaPo). You are not alone.

[Anonymous]

Great advice from the PP.

A few others...

Don't hover, but be involved. Be seen at your teen's sporting event or choir concert or whatever. Let him know you support his activities and are proud of him.

Insist, at leat 2-3x per week, on family dinner together. Keeping opportunities for casual conversation open is so important.

If you can, make your house "teen friendly". Keep it stocked with snacks and sodas. Let your kid know that his friends are welcome and encouraged to be there. You don't need to hover once they are, but that way you get to know his friends and also know that he's safe and not at a party doing something stupid.

Find ways to meet the parents of his friends.

Set appropriate limits and provide consequences for violating them. One thing I think we should have done differently is enforce limits (eg curfew). If you don't, what's the point in establishing them?

Make sure they know that if they find themselves in a situation (eg drinking at a party and now shouldn't drive) that you will come get them NO QUESTIONS ASKED. Yes, there may be consequences or a conversation the next day, but they need to know that you will always always be there for them.

[Anonymous]

If your child is seeking admission to a highly competitive university, look into hiring a private college counselor. You are going to pay about what you would pay an SAT tutor, and they can make all the world of difference in terms of tips and tricks that you would not otherwise know. I think a few posts down someone gave some names.