Support for kids with potential personality disorder

[Anonymous]

My kid with ADHD and anxiety has had a really rough transition to highschool.

In trying to resolve/support them, we are finally trying therapy and have been unpacking a bunch of thoughts and emotional responses that have been growing more worrying in adolescence.

The therapist is exploring whether there is an underlying mental health challenge. A basic screen is lifting up some potential personality disorders (borderline personality disorder, etc.). I am trying to make sense of this all and it is early yet.

I am wondering: does anyone have suggested resources on these types of disorders? Books, a mental health association that focuses on these, a parent group.

Thank you for any helpful suggestions.

[Anonymous]

NAMI

[Anonymous]

It's my understanding that personality disorders are rarely diagnoses prior to adulthood. Your kid is getting closer to 18, but I'm a little surprised it would show up like this (though I am no expert).

That aside, it seems to me that a lot of the traits of BPD seem to also potentially be the result of ADHD and anxiety. Have you been working on addressing those diagnoses already? Is there more you can do on those?

NAMI is a good recommendation but likely to be more adult-focused for personality disorders. Nonetheless, you might find a parent group of adult children there. They have some forums for discussion. I would also ask the therapist for support groups recs.

[Anonymous]

Thank you both.

I do think the behaviors could be rooted in ADHD and anxiety, but there is something else going on. Perhaps a reaction to severe stress of the transition but maybe something more.

Helpful to know these aren't typically diagnosed until later ages. Gives me some hope.

[Anonymous]

One of my DCs has bipolar - not fully apparent until senior year of high school, but looking back started a couple of years earlier.

[Anonymous]

DBT was incredibly helpful for our family with a DD with borderline traits. Also the NEABPD has a free class called Family Connections. There is a waitlist, but it didn’t take me too long to get a class (on zoom). Learning as much as I could about DBT enabled me to best support my DD.

[Anonymous]

OP here. The recommendation for NEABPD was incredibly helpful. Ordered a book they recommended about BPD in teens and also will get on the wait-list for a class.

Thank you so much.

This helpfulness is why I stay in DCUM.

[Anonymous]

There seems to be a creeping trend of diagnosing kids with personality disorders. While of course it is possible your child has BPD it seems better to focus on therapies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my DCs has bipolar - not fully apparent until senior year of high school, but looking back started a couple of years earlier.

bipolar is not a personality disorder

[Anonymous]

I would be wary of anyone diagnosing a kid with a personality disorder. I don’t think reputable psychiatrists would give that dx until adulthood.

[Anonymous]

The APA is clear that personality disorders are only applicable to 18+. They are by definition long-term patterns of behavior. See psychiatry.org for details. If your therapist is pushing the idea for a 14 yo, you need a new therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The APA is clear that personality disorders are only applicable to 18+. They are by definition long-term patterns of behavior. See psychiatry.org for details. If your therapist is pushing the idea for a 14 yo, you need a new therapist.

She said the therapist was “exploring” which is not nearly the same as pushing. As the parent of a kid with a personality disorder, I sure as heck wished someone had mentioned the possibility that some of the things we were seeing *could* have been pd. Instead we got blindsided.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The APA is clear that personality disorders are only applicable to 18+. They are by definition long-term patterns of behavior. See psychiatry.org for details. If your therapist is pushing the idea for a 14 yo, you need a new therapist.

She said the therapist was “exploring” which is not nearly the same as pushing. As the parent of a kid with a personality disorder, I sure as heck wished someone had mentioned the possibility that some of the things we were seeing *could* have been pd. Instead we got blindsided.

I agree. I am the PP who mentioned DBT. I wish someone had mentioned it to us earlier than 17 because I can only imagine the trauma we all could have avoided if we had started DBT sooner.

[Anonymous]

I have heard great things about DBT and would also recommend looking into it. We had a hard time finding a real provider (therapists said they provided it, but then we would call and find out they sort of used a DBT-informed approach or something). I think you want the real thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DBT was incredibly helpful for our family with a DD with borderline traits. Also the NEABPD has a free class called Family Connections. There is a waitlist, but it didn’t take me too long to get a class (on zoom). Learning as much as I could about DBT enabled me to best support my DD.

Not OP, but thank you so much for this resource!