Social issues and asd

[Anonymous]

Does anyone else’s tween struggle with profound loneliness due to a lack of social skills but not understand why they can’t make/keep friends? DS has adhd and is on the spectrum. Were social skills groups helpful in your experience? I’d be so grateful for any insight or advice 🙏

[Anonymous]

following--how old is DS?

[Anonymous]

What extracurricular activities does he do?

[Anonymous]

He is 13, not into a lot of extracurriculars, does chess but really hates sports unfortunately- he’s really pushed back against trying an instrument or music but maybe that would be of interest.

[Anonymous]

Yes, absolutely, this describes my autistic child. PEERs helped some, finding social opportunities that involved other autistic kids with common interests also helped.

[Anonymous]

We had to keep them busy and downtime. They over time made a couple close friends at school, at swim and in the neighborhood .

Most kids are quite busy after school so sitting at home really stings.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely, yes. I haven’t tried PEERS or swimming actually, might as well give both a go, thanks!

[Anonymous]

Mine loves to be social and could do it all day, but our problem is that his friendships usually end up going bad quickly - they get in a fight, someone ends up hating the other person, they get into trouble, etc. I feel you.

I think the more social situations mine can get himself into - even if it isn't direct friendships - the happier overall he feels. We have a neighbor a little older who likes to just come over randomly and hang out. They are not really friends at all and don't talk that much, but he seems to really enjoy having her around.

[Anonymous]

Good social skill groups absolutely help. They outline exactly who to do and not do, and don’t make kids ashamed.

[Anonymous]

Try to get the kid involved in stage crew. They have specific tasks and the drama kids are usually tolerant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try to get the kid involved in stage crew. They have specific tasks and the drama kids are usually tolerant.

+1

[Anonymous]

Why can 2 kids on the spectrum with similar interests become friends? Seems like it would be easy enough to find.

[Anonymous]

Op it depends what his social issues are. A lot of kids on the spectrum have issues bc they perseverate. Others have issues bc they appear inconsiderate. Others seem aloof or are weak at reciprocal conversations. It depends which issue you are dealing with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can 2 kids on the spectrum with similar interests become friends? Seems like it would be easy enough to find.

It depends on so many things- the spectrum is so wide so there is a huge range of issues and ability when it comes to social skills. And like anyone else sometimes two kids just don’t get along the same way two kids with adhd or dyslexia or anxiety might not get along even though they both happen to share something in common.

[Anonymous]

I will look into stage crew for sure, had not considered that even though I had been pushing drama! Our biggest issue is he does not think he has social skill challenges to work on so gets very defensive when I try to gently raise the topic. So he realizes something is wrong but kind of refuses to believe it’s something he is doing.